I’ve got a question that’s been rolling in my head for years. Years ago, we got our first safe sex lecture by a Red Cross nurse at work. It was quite amusing to watch staid business types talk about sexually explicit stuff, especially since we had also suffered through countless hours of sexual harrassment awareness training, where we were told we couldn’t talk about that stuff at work…
Anyway, the question came up about oral sex, and the nurse said that the only way to have safe oral sex was for the giving party to use a dental dam. I didn’t have a clue what the hell a dental dam was until I got a tooth filled by a dentist who decided my mouth was too moist to handle, so he put one in while he worked. As far as I could tell at the time, it was a big rigid latex oval that he had to vigorously force around the tooth he was working on. My question is, geez, if I want to blow my loved one safely, do I need to see the dentist first???
By the way, I asked this nurse about the safety of diddling one’s partner. She responded that hands can get little microscopic cuts on them, and that the only way to safely diddle someone was to wear latex gloves.
So great – visit the dentist, strap on the condom and the rubber gloves, and you’ll be a real sex machine… “Come here honey, don’t let the smell of latex put you off, I’m ready for anything!” Actually, with a dental dam it’s more like “Cmmm hhrehnnnuddnnlllsnlpttuff”.