Safety hazards that really aren't

The BBQ Pit
1

Scenario #1: Like a lot of people, I have a fairly hectic transit schedule. On the days when I stay over at my boyfriend’s house, I have to take a train and bus into work. Naturally, I don’t leave myself much buffer time, so I am usually rushing to the stops so as not to see a bus/train whizzing by me right as I get there.

This, naturally, leads to my shoelaces occasionally getting untied. Not the end of the world, you know? But if I had a dollar for every person who stopped me in mid-stride, making me take my headphones out of my ears and delaying me a few seconds from my arrival at the desired stop to say:

“Ma’am! Ma’am! Miss! Miss! Your SHOELACES! Red Alert! Are you SUICIDAL?! Should I call the POLICE?! My god, how can a person LIVE like that?!”

I’d be a very rich woman. (Okay, maybe make that ten dollars.)

Scenario #2: I like to wear long scarves, particularly this one I made myself. When I have it adjusted just right, the ends fall to my knees. Occasionally, one side dips lower than the other and I wind up stepping on it. No big deal, right? Well, not according to the buttinskis who like to tap me on the shoulder and say:

“Oh my god, your SCARF! You’re STANDING on it! Fix it fix it! We’re living in a SOCIETY here!”

To both groups: Fuck off, you don’t care about my “safety.” You just want to make me look like an idiot and display some twisted sense of moral superiority. I know when my shoelaces are untied, and I choose not to delay my arrival at the bus stop and possibly miss my bus by tying them. I have been wearing long scarves for years, I know how to navigate with one. I’m not going to strangle myself in the bus doors like Dana Plato (yes, UL, I know) or pitch headlong into traffic. I’ll tie my shoelaces or fix my scarf once I get there, jackass. But until then, when I’m sprinting around with my I-am-in-a-rush-don’t-fuck-with-me face on, take a hint and don’t fuck with me. You’re making me feel like a mentally disabled ten-year-old and forcing me to interact with you. And most importantly, I might miss my fucking bus.

To repeat:

  1. Walking around with untied shoelaces is not going to kill you.
  2. Using a long scarf is not going to kill you.
  3. Stick your self-improvement tips up your faux-friendly ass.

That is all.

2

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/02/06/uk.museum.vase/

3

Luckily there are no ancient Chinese vases on the streets of Pittsburgh.

4

Walking on an elevator? :smiley:

5

:smack:

Or an escalator, even?

:smack: :smack: :smack:

6

Wow. Maybe they’re not trying to make you look like an idiot. Maybe they’re not trying to act superior. Maybe they’re, you know, concerned for a fellow human, and/or her belongings.

“Gee, that woman is standing on her scarf. Won’t she be pissed off when she goes to take a step, the scarf comes off, and lands in the mud. I’ll say something to her.”

I highly doubt people are afronted by your standing on your scarf (or having your shoelaces untied). Much more likely is the possibility that they themselves would like to know if such were the case for themselves, and are eager to ‘help out’ another person.
My vote on this rant is: :rolleyes:

7

Well, yeh! So your flopping shoelaces and the trailing end of your scarf get caught in the door as it closes and the elevator rises and they don’t come free and you’re sucked down to the floor and before you can wriggle out of your shoes and scarf you’ve been decapitated and depedified! :eek:

8

Am I to guess, then, that you are afflicted by the same disease that curses my dad: Doubleknotaphobia?

I’ve climbed trees, jumped trains, and ran races without once having a shoelace issue. Yet, my dad constantly finds his shoe untied because he frickin refuses to double knot. I just fail to see the mental block where you can look at two cases where in one everything goes right 100% of the time, and in the other it often goes wrong, and yet people still feel the need to persist with the case that is proven to fail regularly.

(Note that there are probably other knots besides the double-knot that are equally effective, but it is the only one I can personally attest to.)

Anyhoo…

A page on shoelace knots: Ian's Shoelace Site – Shoelace Knots – How To Tie Your Shoes

9

I bet Isadora Duncan thought the same thing.

10

I never double-knot, and my shoelaces never come undone. However, I always make sure to tie a slippery square knot in stead of a slippery granny knot.

Wikipedia on Granny Knot:
“When attempting to tie a reef [square] knot, it can be easy to substitute a granny knot accidentally, but this is dangerous because the latter slips if heavily tested.”

11

Ya beat me to it. :stuck_out_tongue:
And I have tripped on untied shoe-laces. Which becomes even more likely when I’m rushing somewhere with untied shoes.

So excuse me for caring if you might trip or get your scarf dirty.

12

I’ve been the one to point out “your shoes are untied” or “you’re standing on your scarf”. This is mostly because I see such a thing and think “Oh, geez, that time when I fell on my face in front of hundreds of people? And skinned my knee? And was late to class? And I wanted to cry? SHOELACES! Must! Save! Innocent! Person!”

So, really, you should be glad they didn’t throw you to the ground and forcibly tie your shoelaces or rearrange your scarf to protect you.

13
  1. It could lead to injury.
  2. It could lead to injury.
  3. Right, people going around trying to help others avoid injury are to be pitted. You know, if they felt superior to you, they’d just stand aside and mock you to their friends, much like I’m planning on doing in a minute.
14

I used to work with a fellow who was a safety expert witness for the elevator and escalator industry and I used to see his photo albums. Trust me, you want to tie your shoes, keep your scarf from flopping around, and not try to climb out of a stalled elevator. Climbing off a stalled escalator is okay, though.

15

That’s because you can’t tie your shoes, and your clothes are dragging on the ground. Are your mittens buttoned to your sleeves too?

Grow up, act like an adult, and people will treat you like an adult.

16

Miss! Miss! Your pit thread has come undone!

17

Seems to me that if you’re constantly being delayed by such woefully misguided good samaritans then logic would dictate that you tie your shoes and scarf properly. Maybe, y’know, speed up your commute by eliminating unwanted interruptions?

18

I would be a little more with you on this if not for that ‘I don’t leave myself much buffer time’. Sorry, but if you aren’t allowing sufficient time to do simple tasks like dress yourself then you lose a lot of credibility. If it was once or twice that’s one thing, but you apparently know the transit schedule and choose to barely allow time to get there.

19

Love it :slight_smile:

20

As a bike commuter, the sight of long dangling scarves makes me shudder and put my hands on my head to make sure it’s still there. Anything loose below my elbows makes me nervous.
I used to walk with my shoes untied exceedingly frequently. Then, ONE day, I did indeed finally manage to step on a lace with the other shoe and keep walking and just about broke an arm, and there was a great deal of mud involved and it was generally embarrassing.