I could have sworn that chrism was a John Wayne movie.
I can understand the other ingredients to the chrism recipe, but why the sugar? Does it make a crunchy atheist glaze, like a HoneyBaked Ham®?
hey Eve , why don’t you go… oh crap , this is MPSIMS… HAVE A NICE DAY? ah, yeah, have a real nice day Eve ! 
I’m not sure. But my followers seem to think it is.
BTW, what the? Why didn’t that quote work and where are my smilies?
But what kind of salt should I use against atheists? Is regular table salt good enough, or should I listen to Alton Brown and always use kosher salt?
Bah, kosher salt is for sissies. Fleur de Sel, all the way
I think I shall never understand the finer points of theology. Jesus said “Remember Lot’s wife,” not “grab a handful and chuck her at somebody.” If her family were still around, they could lobby Congress to embrace a “Culture of Salt,” which could take as its motto “Use your brine!” But Congress wouldn’t stoop to such a cynical misuse of its power to make a purely symbolic (in this case, NaCl) point, even to appease a vocal religious minority. Heck, I’m still trying to reconcile the Schindler’s effort to convince us that removal of the feeding tube would be an unconscionable violation of Catholic doctrine with their attempt to procure for their daughter a divorce from her husband, much less come to terms with how calling someone an atheist invalidates their point of view. Since accepting this (for me, anyhow) calls for a lot more than a grain of salt, I guess it’s good that these folks bring their own.
All part of the service.
I was also thinking of a jism-chrism joke, but I can’t formulate it…
Sounds like “Good Season” salad dressing to me.
And what’s this about frankinsence if easily available ? Who the hell knows where to get frankinsence? I don’t think I can just pop down to the Winn Dixie, go to the spice rack, and get a little jar. Besides, HAVE YOU SEEN HOW EXPENSIVE SPICES ARE?
Poly, so how do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it?
DuH! You punch holes in it! 
You can get frankincense by burning weiners. You’re on your own to find the myrrh.
frankincense, get it?
Hey, it’s Holy Week. We aren’t supposed to be funny. We’re supposed to be all contrite, sober and repentant. Deal with it!
Sorry, but I’m not burning my weiner for anyone - I don’t care if it is Holy Week.
[Homer Simpson] “No son of mine is growing up to be a 19th-century cockney bootblack!” [/Homer Simpson]
If your house in infested with atheists, you can call Athi-Ex (that’s the big white truck with a rubber dead atheist on the top) and they’ll sprinkle salt in the corners and the attic.
Besides, doesn’t frankincense come from the Arabian Peninsula? That would make it heathen frankincense! :eek:
Winn Dixie? Don’t be ridiculous. Dollar General has all your spices, herbs, and essential oils at low prices. Next aisle over from the canned okra.
Brine is a terrible thing to waste…
Salt makes zombies dead, again.
Brine has salt.
Zombies are always calling ouf for “Braaaaaains”, which sounds like brine, kinda.
Hmmmm…
Homer: Moe! Don’t throw away that brine! grabs brine and drinks it