Did he loot your castle too? I lost some candlesticks, my gold-plated bathtub, and an entire vat of mead to him.
[nitpick] Lunatic Fringe is by Red Ryder, not the Red Rocker.[nitpick]
:smack: 3 previews to check the color and I still messed up my faux coding!:smack:
In 1983, I was in the parking lot of the Cow Palace in San Francisco, waiting for a Sammy Hagar / Night Ranger concert to begin, and was arrested for possession of a controlled substance.
I have never forgiven Sammy.
It could be worse, you could have the theme from Andy Griffith running about in your head…
It’s Red Rider, btw. Later, Tom Cochrane and Red Rider.
Ha, ha. Very funny, everyone. It is to laugh, over here.
But what about MY needs? Can’t anyone see that I am in an existential panic? Can no one feel my pain? Let us not quibble over the various ways to spell the names of obscure 80’s rock bands at this dire hour.
I do appreciate Bomzaway and TFSC sharing their horrific Hagar mishaps. I am somewhat relieved that the Scarlet One and his sinister machinations has interfered with others’ pursuit of happiness and familial camaraderie, that not just I alone stand, forlorn yet defiant, in front of the Magenta Madman and his other-worldly Les Paul.
I took the lyrics of said number to my shrink yesterday, and we pondered the psychological ramifications of this Kabbalah-like exhortation for 50 minutes.
http://www.mlyrics.com/lyrics/42464/Sammy_Hagar/There’s_Only_One_Way_To_Rock/
Ultimately, she was unable to help me, and I wandered forth, again alone with my confusion and sorrow.
Perhaps my quandary is too pitiful for our Perfect Master to deign to ponder. Very well. I have seen the awesome power of this community when it chooses to help those of us in need. Therefore, I fling myself at your feet, Dopers. I beseech you to lead me out of the wilderness the insidious words of the Rufescent Rogue have carved in my soul. I must know the answer to these two questions, or die.
Is there truly only one way to rock?
And, if so, how can one tell is one is indeed rocking in the proper manner?
Exhausted, I await your assistance, grateful beyond words.
In addition to there being only one way to rock, there is also a specific time at which the rocking is to begin: 8:05. AM vs. PM is not mentioned, however.
Exactly, rogzilla! I’m tearing my hair out over here!
**Red Ryder BB Guns! **
You’ll shoot your eye out!
An Hispanic man loved to cook, but he was tired of making the ethnic food that he was raised with. So, he enrolls in a class to learn to make chinese cuisine.
When learning how to work with the strange equipment, eventually, this man became so good at cooking, preferring the chinese frying pan that his love and dedication to this kitchen implement caused much derision in the restaurant’s kitchen.
A new chef was brought in and told " Don’t bother the mexican guy about his frying pan."
“Why?”
“There is only Juan way to wok.”
{rimshot}
essvee I do believe there is in fact more than one way to rock, for instance:
–you could rock using a chair (which in my opinion is the most serene and peaceful way in which to indulge)
–you could rock using music (hopefully not that produced by the aforementioned gentleman who is haunting you)
–you could rock using small stones (this I feel is the most likely to cause some damage, and is therefore the most likely to bring about repercussions and perhaps personal injury)
In my experience there are many different “proper” and acceptable techniques to accomplish any of the above, depending on individual tastes. I feel it would be judgemental to say that any one way is better than another. It would be wrong to force our own individual beliefs and practices of “rocking” onto the world at large (and none of this even gets into the time of day issue).
So, if you agree with anything I’ve said, the only conclusion we can come to is that Mr. Hagar does not know of which he speaks and therefore his loudly voiced assertions can be safely ignored.
Now does that help, or does it just muddy the waters of your problem even more?
Your mind is swirling with too many thoughts, essvee. While people claim that there are many ways to rock, these are all merely signposts leading to the one way to rock. This is the way which dwells within you and indeed within all of us.
Lennon knew it :“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together”
Mr. Hagar hints at the truth, now you must find it for yourself.
(and I am an idiot, so you should probably just ignore this) 
Lennon obviously wrote “I am the Walrus” while tripping on some LCD.
Does this mean that the only way to rock is with the assistance of LCD?
Bomzaway, were you in possession of LCD when you were arrested?
I feel like I’m on to something here! Really, I do!
If, indeed, the only way to rock is with LCD, I think it’s safer if the general public just sticks to the Osmonds.
melly
Exactly how would Liquid Crystal Diodes assist one in determining the one and only possible way to rock?
Rollin’ down the street, smokin endo, watchin’ on CRTs
LAID BACK…
So the real question at hand:
Is Sammy Hagar’s claim, There’s only one way to rock, correct?
Sammy thought touring with David Lee Roth would be a real good idea, and make them both lots of money.
Draw your own conclusions.
I hardly think we should be considering Sammy Hagar the authority in this case. Clearly we should be asking Chris Rock for his opinion, as he seems to be affiliated with this rocking procedure.
Everyone, just take a few seconds to
*Breathe, Breathe in the air.
Don’t be afraid to care.
Leave, don’t leave me.
Look around, choose your own ground.
Long you live and high you fly,
Smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry,
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life you’ll ever be…*
Perhaps we would be best served by asking The Rock himself.
Can you smell what The Rock is cooking? And, if so, does this enhance or decrease the rocking experience?