You know when you press on an lcd, you get those neato rainbow patterns? Maybe the One Way To Rock is encoded therein.
If Sammy Hagar was in my weekend, he’d have to work very hard NOT to ruin it. He does nothing for me. This may be due to the fact that when I saw him in concert 20 years ago, I had to stand on a cinderblock for the entire show to avoid standing in vomit and urine. The whole experienced harshed my buzz.
Jeez, this reminded me of a place I worked one summer years ago. A book editing place, so we were all sitting in front of our computers working on book text. A favorite pastime of some people would be to do offensive musical attacks – basically, start singing some annoying song at a co-worker in the hopes of getting the song stuck in someone else’s head. So, you’d go up to someone, sing “It’s a small world after all! It’s a small world after all!” and then run away. 
Cobalt
I wish to thank Murcielago, Big Norse, abdul, and SNenc for both their kind concerns and their most eloquent replies.
Shirley, on the other hand …
The efforts of everyone (except Shirley) in this thread are much appreciated. Nonetheless, I am left even more bereft and confused than I was before. I am even more convinced that we must look to our Perfect Master for the One Way to Rock.
Cecil, yea verily, we are worthless and weak, but we ask humbly that you lead your lambs from the abyss and show us the True Way.
Word.
[Addition to List of Songs Hijack]
It occurred to me tonight that I have been alternately humming, whistling, or singing sotto voce, three particular tunes, for a couple days, now. (Well, I haven’t been singing the third one, but you’ll get the idea.)
Ernie’s Rubber Duckie
[sub]And in a bad Jim Henson voice, no less. While grocery shopping.[/sub]
The theme song to Oobi’s new show
[sub]Parents of children under five or so will be most familiar with this one, I’d think.[/sub]
The “Godzilla March”
[sub]Y’know that music that plays every time the Big G makes an entrance, or starts a fight? That one.[/sub]
Once you hit the faster section of that last one, you might as well give it up. It sticks in your head for literally hours.
My daughter is ruining my brain.
[/Addition to List of Songs Hijack]
And I’m thinking that, just possibly, the one true way to rock, unless you’re actually on stage, must be performed whilst alone, or at least unobserved. Probably with a tennis racquet, or a substitute mike stand.
You haved learned enough, essvee, now you must begin the process of simplifying your thoughts. The true path to the one way to rock will be revealed as you peel away that which is unnecessary.
My personal philosophy has been extracted from Taoism and Existentialism, along with some cool stuff I learned from the back of cereal boxes.
The issue is quite clear when viewed in a historical context.
All roads lead to Rome.
All Gaul is divided into 3 parts.
Gall has stones.
Stones are rocks.
Therefore, “There is only one way. To rock.”
frithrah, truly you are wise beyond your post count. Welcome.
Mine is usually the Imperial March from Star Wars, for some reason. I’ll just be sitting around, minding my own business, and my brain’ll start…
Bumm bumm bummm ba da bum ba da bum…
Aaaahhhh!
I curse* you, GMRyujin!
I’ve not watched any of the movies (or played any of the various games) in months now, and consequently, it’s been months since I’ve had that thing stuck in my head…
*[sub]May your dinner give you mild indigestion, and occasional irregularity. Hey, I’m in a good mood for a change, so I’m not really feeling all that vengeful.[/sub]
I do that to my brother! Only I usually use a song by the Backstreet Boys, for maximum torture effect.
Tell me why
ain’t nothin’ but a heartache
tell me why
ain’t nothin’ but a mistake…
Don’t blame me. Blame my brain. I’ll have to stab it with a Q-Tip.
“One way to rock”, indeed! This is precisely the sort of conformist twaddle one would expect from Mr. Hagar.
Since the problem is posed by a song from the 80’s, allow me to rebut with another musical sample from the same period…
The lyrics of the theme song from the popular 80’s sitcom “Diff’rent Strokes” advise us thusly, on the matter of individuality vs. comformity:
Well, the world don't move
To the beat of just one drum.
What might be right for you,
Might not be right for some.
(Note the clear application to rocking, set forth in the “drum” reference.) Elaborating on his point, the songwriter posits:
Everybody's got a special kind of story,
Everybody finds a way to shine.
Since one must FIND a way to shine, it is evident that one’s own “special kind of story” is not necessarily obvious upon cursory examination. Thus, Essvee’s confusion is understandable. Sadly, this opens the door for callous manipulators, of Mr. Hagar’s ilk.
Concluding his argument, our composer prophecies a future in which:
They'll have theirs,
And you'll have yours,
And I'll have mine....
And together we'll be fine.
One can infer from the final quoted paragraph that, since “we’ll be fine” in a world where we all know and express our individual natures, failure to live (and rock) in our own distinctive ways would be harmful (perhaps very much so!), although we cannot conclude, as yet, whether this harm would manifest primarily on the personal or societal levels.
Clearly, then, we see that it would be sheerest intellectual folly to believe that there is only ONE way to rock.