Diarmid-that’s almost close to Ian Diamid, who played Palpatine. Could be a good connection.
Oh, and most people think of the Golden Girls when they hear Blanche. At least, I do.
Just my 2/100[sup]ths[/sup] of a buck -
Toombs - Innocuous enough, but as you say, has creepy overtones.
Cotton - Sounds made-up, a little too Southern.
Diarmid - Somehow, this name reminds me of some giant chemicals manufacturer.
Garland - My favorite of the list. It has (for me) a Southern connotation, but it’s subtle, like green beans seasoned with bacon drippings.
Tresvant - Interesting, but I don’t know how to pronounce it, which is slightly off-putting for some nebulous reason.
And, since I haven’t already said so (in this thread), I am so buying this book and look forward to the day when I can annoy friends, relatives, acquaintances and random strangers by loudly announcing that “I knew him when …”.
Your stories take me back to my rural East Texas roots. As near as I can tell, the main difference between rural East Texas and rural Alabama is the zip code. Because if not for that, I would swear I lived next door to your family for most of my childhood. This is great stuff. Please keep it coming.
ps - let me add that I really like you, just not in that way, but I’ll be glad to keep an eye on the children for you and Bricker should the need arise. 
Mr. Sampiro, if you ever come to Mecca, er, San Francisco, you will never ever have to pay for a cocktail. I will personally fund your bar bills. My only request is that I get autographs for two of my copies of your book-- one for me and one for my mother, who will pass out laughing.
My favorites are Toombs, Garland, and Tresvant, in that order.
I am a New Englander, and thus have a fondness for things macabre.
I like Toombs as a first choice.
Cotton, is my second, and might even edge out Toombs: I can see why some would view it as being potentially too Southern, and made-up sounding I find it particularly appropriate - edging out that well-known, and not at all Southern, fanatic: Cotton Mather. For some reason, it just seems to fit.
I can’t imagine why…
Bah. When come back, bring brain, Loki.
I meant: Cotton, is my second choice, and might even edge out Toombs: I can see why some would view it as being potentially too Southern, and made-up sounding. However, I find it particularly appropriate - harkening, as it does, to that well-known, and not at all Southern, fanatic: Cotton Mather.
Put me down for Toombs, and autographs for 2 copies … one for me and one for our southern born roomie.
I can’t wait for the autograph party/dopefest.
I vote for Toombs, too – mostly because I think you should keep your father’s name as Garlan June-ya. Cotton is OK but I think the name needs to be infused with more melodrama than “Cotton” provides. Toombs provides the macabre touch without being overt about it. (I think that Faulkner would approve, also.) What will you call Mustang? Mustang, I hope.
And on a non-literary note, I’m sorry your mom had an attack of some kind and happy she’s home from the hospital!
I have to go Toombs also. It just seems right.
**Diarmid ** would probably be #2.
Three autographed copies for me. One for me, one for my daughter, and one for my English professor brother who always said our original Kentucky family was like “Faulkner on acid.” But it’s far out of the running behind Sampiro’s clan.
First, sorry to hear about your mom, and I hope she’s feeling better.
For name, I like Tresvant best. It’s unique, which makes it sound less like a pseudonym, and I think it just sounds right for a proud-and-noble, off their rockers Southern family. Toombs is second - I like that little macabre touch - followed by Garland and Diarmid. Cotton is my least favorite. Like Rhubarb said, it sounds made-up; it’s too easy. And I just don’t think it fits the stories.
I feel so bad for laughing at this. I truly hope the first part doesn’t happen of course.
Enjoy,
Steven
My pick is definitely Garland. It’s evocative without sounding forced.
Garland is good. I like Garland.
Or you can call it Sampiro.
Cotton too made up Southern, also Cotton Hill is the name of Hank Hill’s father on King of the Hill.
Tresvant and Toombs sort of sound Anne Rice/New Orleans-y.
I like Garland the best.
Take the flattering. 
I’m glad your mother is ok Sampiro. No matter how melodramatic, it’s still scary when “Mom” has to go to the hospital. Every good southerner knows that any trip to the hospital is dire.
I vote for Toombs. Then again, being as I am all Jawjan, I would. It’s just a great deep south name.
This guy (the first Tresvant I ever heard of) is John TREZ-vant, at least according to the basketball announcers I heard speaking his name “back in the day”. However, musician Ralph Tresvant says in this article that
Adding to the conundrum is the fact that these Tresvants are both black, while Sampiro is white. Perhaps the hoped-for book (is it going to be Casseroles for the Dead?) can include an account of the pronunciation controversy, with one branch of the family opting for the “hoity-toity” TREY-vaun and the other preferring the more “plain-folks” TREZ-vant. At any rate, Tresvant is my choice, with Garland second. However, Sampiro’s father could become the second Stephen Garland Tresvant in the line, and thus the “Gahlun JUNE-ya” appellation (which I also like) would still be possible.
I prefer Toombs and Tresvant, as Garland and Cotton aren’t exotic enough (especially with Sampiro’s first name), while Diarmid isn’t exotic in quite the right way.
As a Georgian, I’ll obviously go with Toombs.
God bless Robert.
I was just corresponding by email with my aunt, who lives close by, regarding my kids and her grandchildren, 4 of whom are around the same age, teenagers. How much fun they are, how much fun they and all of us have when we all get together, once or twice a year. (The grandchildren live across the country.)
Then I got to thinking about my own childhood, and how for many generations, my father’s family and my own immediate family were and are so very dysfunctional. Wow, how things have changed already, and when those teenagers are adults with their own families, the last vestiges of those twisted, incredibly unhealthy generations will be long gone, and that makes me so happy. I could never go back, literally or metaphorically, and sounds like you couldn’t, either.