Well, I’m back in one piece from my excursion to the left coast, and I had a amazing time. That trip was without question one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. I highly recommend trying it to everyone.
Here’s what I ended up doing.
Fri:
Booked ticket, posted to the SDMB, called/e-mailed my friends in SF. Bought some clothes before the trip, and tried in vain to plan things with dopers in late night chats.
Sat:
Woke up early, got my car washed, and bought a new suitcase. Packed and left for O’Hare. Due to some minor delays I arrived at my gate 5 minutes before take off and the chick behind the counter wouldn’t let me board. Luckily she put me on a flight an hour later into SFO (instead of OAK). This was a serious bonus cause it was much easier and cheaper to get around from there late at night, not to mention a much more expensive ticket normally. I arrive in town at about 7:30PM. Unfortunately I now realize that I’d forgotten to write down my friends address from the e-mail, and I only know the general area he’s in. I can’t get a hold of him because he’s out tending to his g/f. I resign myself to start drinking heavily in a few bars. I begin ordering Guinness’ in pairs for the next 2 hrs. After deciding to get a hotel room, no easy task on the holiday weekend in that area, I finally luck out and get the last room in a Ramada within walking distance. I ditch my luggage and proceed to enter any venue which I hear considerable noise. About 12 bars later, very lubricated, having danced in The Trapdoor for the last hour, meeting several very nice rich people who insisted on buying me copious amounts of alcohol, being treated great by every SF local I met, I finally start to stagger back to my hotel. My stagger was severe, but was made so much more so by the earthquake which rippled under me at 1:30 in the morning. It is now certain that my trip is going to be a complete success. Finally as I start getting to sleep I get a phone call from my friend, he laughs at me for being a idiot forgetting his address, we make plans to meet for breakfast.
Sun:
I wake up, shower and get a call from my friend. I walk over to his awesome apartment, his g/f, him, and I go get some tasty breakfast. We head over to start drinking bloody marys, screwdrivers, and margaritas this morning and watch some football. We start getting loaded, and his g/f leaves. We take our que to go over to Pac Ball and watch the last 6 innings of the ballgame. Its a lovely park, but they’re the creepiest fans you’ll ever see! Sitting there drinking mircobrews, munching on lobster rolls, shrimp cocktails and some very unique seafood concoctions, quietly applauding a good play by Bonds, never once heckling any Cubs players. And these were the bleachers! I took it upon myself to show giants fans how a true fan enjoys a game, and continue to berate Barry Bonds with droning chants of “Baaaaaaaaaaaarrrrry”, and several offhand comments of his genitalia, and some deviant sexual practices which may or may not invovle animals. Even with my fevered support the Cubbies still fell to the evil Giants, although I’m taking credit for Bonds going 0-fer the rest of the game. After the game, we return to the bar which my escapades began nearly 24 hours earlier and I happily greet my befriended bartender. More football, and shots before I realize 6PM has come and gone. I say goodbye to my friend, and head off to the Redwood Room to meet these fine fine dopers.
The Redwood Room is a very classy bar inside the Clift Hotel right downtown. We’re all way under dressed, and most likely make the civilized folks there quite nervous. I arrive about 30 minutes late and recognize Doob right away. He’s standing with Sue Dunhym, and Jack Batty. Brief introductions aside we get acquainted with one another before oldscratch rolls in only a few minutes later. We adjourn to a table and start ripping on the rest of you dopers. Before long Demo and psycat arrive just in time for my round. Now that the group is finally assembled, we start getting down to business discussing monumental topics like tattoos fake tits, piercings, Fantasy Football, the Cubs, shoe/hand/penis sizes and, of course, sex. Eventually we decide to go off and get some food, and oldscratch directs us to some of his favorite establishments. A couple of the places we visit are more upscale than anyone wanted, and before we settle on a place Demo gets called into work. Unfortunately he called it a night, and he and psycat said goodbye. We decide that we must get some Buffalo Wings to eat (you know how SF is known for them ;)), and we go on a quest to find a sports bar serving them. A handful of stops, and some bad directions later we never find any and oldscratch informs us that he has to get to work. He says goodbye, and invites us to stop into his bar a bit later. Finally we enter a bar and decide all this walking is cutting into our drinking, and we sit and have a drink before continuing our quest for wings. A half dozen drinks and shots later, never actually getting food into our stomachs, Sue starts proclaiming her lust for the Bartender. Doob chimes in in kind, and peer presure forced me to say “I’d do him” too. If I remeber correctly the bartenders penis size became a topic of discussion. The hot bartender apparently felt the same about one of us, and gave us a shitload of free drinks, which we replied with a giant tip. As we get ready to leave, Jack Batty says goodbye, and I persuade Doob and Sue to stay a bit longer before we run off to oldsratch’s place of employment. An angry parking attendant, an onboard nav system, and a hammock later Doob, Sue and me finish off the night.
I jump into a cab and head back to my buddies place, where I drag him out for a couple more hours closing out the local pub. I don’t really remember going to sleep, but that couch felt damn comfy.
Mon:
I wake up at about 10 and spend a few hours trying to piece together the night and find all my accessories scattered and hidden about. I get a lift over to the BART and a half hour later I’m at the Oakland airport. My flight is delayed an hour and 15 minutes, but otherwise everything goes smoothly getting back into Chicago.
It was a spectacular trip, and I’m so happy to have met those dopers. Demo and psy, even though you chose your job over me, I was still glad to have finally met you guys. Next time we’ll have to have a BBQ and get seriously lubed together. Doob, I know you came a long ways, and I really appreciate the trip. I had a blast, sorry I didn’t whip out the ass for display, but I don’t want to get a reputation ;). Jack Batty and oldscratch it was great to meet you both, and I hope we can do it again. Sue’s a hottie, and she’s a good time too! Thanks for coming out, and if you ever get back to see that bartender let me know, and I’ve got some singles with your name on them ;).
I’m sure theres some other stuff to share, but this is all I can think of now, the memory is a bit hazy. I hope I wasn’t too obnoxious. Thanks again everyone.
