And herewith, now and forever, lies the very least one can do, other than nothing.
Maybe even including nothing.
Does it matter that they were theists?
Obviously it does at least a bit since that’s the (deranged!) excuse they made. But it just seems incidental to their obvious looniness. Just like tdn said, without religion they would have found some other equally insane reason for nuking their baby.
Sheesh. Sometimes I think there should be a license to breed…
Silly rabbit. That’s how you cook a nun.
What’s black and white and black and beige and black and brown and black and black?
Hey, hey, hey! This world would be a much better place with a little love and understanding for those whose ways are different from our own. While microwaving babies may well be the work of Satan, we must still extend the hand of fellowship to those poor mistaken souls who insist treating their babies that way.
Personally, I think the key is putting them in a baking bag, that way all those tender juices stay in.
I’ve also heard that Deep Fried Baby is quite good, but I’ve never tried that method myself.
Well then maybe it has less to do with “theism” and more to do with “being fucking insane” than you may have intimated in your original post.
Doesn’t it seem like Satan would have better things to do? What is he, the ultimate micromanager? I don’t buy it. One of his lower-echelon underlings, maybe. A discipline case, a “Steve-O” of the underworld, mucking up the boss’s infernal plans with his jackass pranks— but not the big D himself.
This is the kind of thing Satan reads about in the New York Post* while holding his horny head in his hands and muttering “I don’t need this shit.”
*Interestingly, the only quotidian news publication available in Hell.
I recommend soaking in brine. You think it works well on turkeys? You ain’t seen nothing yet! 
And, yeah, I agree with the OP: people who microwave meat should be pitted as a general rule.
In what, baby oil?
With a little drying and curing, you could make baby jerky.
OK. Done.
Now what do I do?
How many times do people on this board have to remind the (supposedly ‘brilliant’) populace of SDMB that nutjob exceptions are NOT the rule? The jokes about baking babies - funny. The rants about ‘theists’ all being out of their minds - just tiresome, annoying, and, really, evidence of far less than brilliance. Every time someone posts a reply like
in response to one of these incidents, the collective IQ of the board drops another few notches.
I gather you’d rather I drag the offenders to the Pit and launch a vitriolic diatribe? Can’t be bothered. So a :rolleyes: because it’s just stupid and tiresome and annoying to see the same old sameold inanity is as much as I can, on this holiday morning, be bothered to muster. Now please go on with the BBQ Baby recipes. At least they are witty.
Most babies are pretty jerky all on their own. You don’t have to make 'em.
This is why Cthulhu makes a superior deity.
If Cthulhu had perceived a threat, Joshua would have been eaten without the need to resort to microwaving.
This also would have set a positive example for responsible use of energy.
Say what you want about the nut jobs…but that’s not what the comment was about, Miss Condescending Rolling Eyes christian Girl. The fact that the incident happened at all doesn’t say much for the almightiness of your god. Where’s some divine intervention when you need it?
Those seen-on-TV rotisseries are much more intelligently designed.
Oh, come on lady – the “It was Satan!” insanity dodge only works when the perpetrator says it.
You say he was under a lot of stress. and he says he was commanded to do it by Belial. It’s not that hard.
Just figure it out before you get the expert witness on the stand to explain about post-partum depression, okay?
“Please don’t put Suzie in the Suzie Bake Oven.”
Permission to tagline this, sir?
What I don’t get is why anyone would take orders from a hockey player.
Now if Santa had told him to microwave a baby…
Or cats in the CAT scanner. The hairs get everywhere.
What scares me is that there are other nutjobs who will now follow the baby-baker because he is so holy Satan targeted him personally.
I am so tempted to go look for Mom’s myspace page…