Satan sez: microwave your baby!

[QUOTE=kung fu lola]
I am sure that people like Sir Thomas More and Andre Trocme would have greatly benefitted from modern psychiatry.
[/QUOTE]
Modern psychiatry, being dominated by theists like everything else, doesn’t consider religion a form of insanity, last I heard. So no, it wouldn’t do them or anyone else any good in that area.

[QUOTE=mswas]
I’d like to point out that within Christian Theology, you are responsible for giving in to Satan. It doesn’t let you off the hook in any way. So qualitatively it’s not a valid excuse.
[/QUOTE]

While it is doubtful that Satan himself did this, it is possibly demonic oppression (possession) which as you pointed out, though the demons make it easier and may have set up the situation it is the person that has to press the start button. Satan (ruler of the demons) wants the blood on your hands, if he did everything then he would have no charge against you.

Is this the right thread for a dead baby joke? I’ve been wanting to say this for a long time on the Dope but haven’t had a chance.

Q: What’s the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
A: I dont cum all over an apple before I eat it.

One last comment for the road. As a Christian, and one who believes in Satan, I thought the following. Stories like this bring negative and large attention to Satan and would detract from his goal to bring souls to Hell. Satan works best when nobody believes he exists. So, from an atheist or theist (Catholic) perspective, this guy is simply fucking nuts.

As for the problem of pain, I recommend the C.S. Lewis novel by that name. It’s not perfect of course but it addresses the issue well.

[QUOTE=Cervaise]
Those seen-on-TV rotisseries are much more intelligently designed.
[/QUOTE]

No one with any sense would use any appliance for this except the George Foreman grill, silly. Low fat!

[QUOTE=Cervaise]
Those seen-on-TV rotisseries are much more intelligently designed.
[/QUOTE]

Ron Popiel: “Just set her–”
Audience: “–and forget her!
:smiley:

Are we sure their name isn’t spelled Maudlin?
Anyway, I’m surprised he put the baby in the microwave. Doesn’t he know you have to nuke them from orbit? It’s the only way to be sure.

[QUOTE=Der Trihs]
Well, there’s the argument that “theism” = “being fucking insane”.

Well, fewer people would consider you offensive for suggesting that she was insane or stupid for believing in aliens. Which is amusing, since aliens are far more plausible than God, or Satan for that matter.
[/QUOTE]

I didn’t say she was insane. I said that he might be insane. Your point is a good one, though.

Ohh, I bet Satan didn’t say “Satan Says” first! Pappa is out of the game!

[QUOTE=Autolycus]
Satan works best when nobody believes he exists.
[/QUOTE]

I’ve been trying to use this theory at work, but they ain’t buying it either.

Is that like the hobby of not collecting stamps?

FWIW, Any decent sized baby probably won’t spin very well in a standard microwave. May I present a Romertopf for your consideration? I know a 6 month old that weighs 25lbs. That could feed a family of 6! (My 20 month old is too wirey)

[QUOTE=Autolycus]
..Satan works best when nobody believes he exists…
[/QUOTE]

So does Kaysar Sozay. A coincidence? I wonder…

[QUOTE=kung fu lola]
The one where you generalized about theists.
[/QUOTE]

Ah. Was that the post where I immediately thereafter retracted what I said? In the very next sentence?

Methinks if you’d sincerely wanted to accuse me of a hijack, you’d have pointed out the post where I first discussed how to properly oven roast an infant, not the one where I mock some fuckwit blaming Satan for attempted murder, as per the OP.

[QUOTE=tdn]
Ah. Was that the post where I immediately thereafter retracted what I said? In the very next sentence?

Methinks if you’d sincerely wanted to accuse me of a hijack, you’d have pointed out the post where I first discussed how to properly oven roast an infant, not the one where I mock some fuckwit blaming Satan for attempted murder, as per the OP.
[/QUOTE]

(Incidently, your recipe delivered as promised. Thank you!)

[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
(Incidently, your recipe delivered as promised. Thank you!)
[/QUOTE]

You’re welcome, but I’m sorry if I was remiss in my recipe. But you’re a smart lady, you did remember to seal the still-moving infant in a ziplock baggy with some merlot, green peppercorns, and a bay leaf, and let marinade for 12 hours?

Marinate for twelve hours? :smack:

No wonder it came out so dry.

[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
All christians believe in miracles. This is just another example of a missed opportunity; a chance to show those darn atheists the light, don’t you think?
[/QUOTE]

'Course, had the mite been nuked to death, you’d’ve been willing to demand why God (sorry, you’d’ve said “god”, on principle) couldn’t have seen to it that the baby got out of there alive, wouldn’t you?

[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy]
Marinate for twelve hours? :smack:

No wonder it came out so dry.
[/QUOTE]

It pisses me off that so few people can follow a simple recipe. :rolleyes:

You did remember to wrap the tiny fingers and toes in foil, right?

Now the father of the baby is asking to have his bail reduced because…he doesn’t have enough money to make bail.

[QUOTE=Malacandra]
'Course, had the mite been nuked to death, you’d’ve been willing to demand why God (sorry, you’d’ve said “god”, on principle) couldn’t have seen to it that the baby got out of there alive, wouldn’t you?
[/QUOTE]

Of* course * I would. After all, he is supposed to be almighty.

[QUOTE=tdn]
You’re welcome, but I’m sorry if I was remiss in my recipe. But you’re a smart lady, you did remember to seal the still-moving infant in a ziplock baggy with some merlot, green peppercorns, and a bay leaf, and let marinade for 12 hours?
[/QUOTE]

Merlot? MERLOT? Oh puhleeze…if you can’t bother with a cabernet, don’t bother at all! (I know…it was a test. You were testing my culinary skills. Well, listen, buster…I didn’t just fall off the back of a turnip truck!)

[QUOTE=elucidator]
So does Kaysar Sozay. A coincidence? I wonder…
[/QUOTE]
Ah … so you’re saying someone put the guy up to microwaving his baby.

Call the police! Tell them to round up the usual suspects.

[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy]
No wonder it came out so dry.
[/QUOTE]
Well of course it did. Didn’t you know that l’enfant sous vide requires you to evacuate the air from the bag during preparation?