For the past seven months, when the sun has poked his head over the horizon, he’s always found me in roughly the same spot: Behind the wheel of my car with one eye open, one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand tightly clutching a cup of Stop-N-Rob[sup]TM[/sup] coffee. But this Saturday, when the sun shows up, he’s not going to find me there, no, he’s going to find me in bed sleeping contentedly. Why? Because I got fired from my shitty job. Bummer that.
No really, I mean that. Wait, no I don’t. I would have liked to have found another job before I got the axe, but seeing as how crappy things are in the telecom industry right now, and seeing that you were going to be unveiling some really shitty new things next month, I’m actually kind of glad I got cut when I did.
Of course, it comes as no surprise to me why I got cut. I know the reason you gave, but I’m really not buying it because of what all’s been happening over the past couple of months. Number one is the number of lay-offs that have been going on and the “weeding out” that’s been taking place. Lots of people have been suddenly disappearing, not a good sign. Then there’s the fact that the company is frantically searching for ways to increase revenue. Of course, you’re not doing it by offering new goods and services (not yet anyway), nope, suddenly you’re tacking fees and charges on to everything that didn’t used to be there. Wait’ll next month when the customers suddenly find out that its going to cost them money to check their usage! And since we’ve got a number of customers who’s phones (or “devices” as you like to call them :rolleyes: ) get shut-off once their balance goes over a certain amount, you can expect the number of angry and pissed off callers to sky rocket. That should be entertaining. Pity, I won’t be there to see it.
Then there’s the rumor that’s been going around that the CEO has said that if the company doesn’t secure $17 billion in money before the end of the year, we’ll be no more. Not to mention the nearly panicked announcement that came out yesterday saying that in no way did we use the same kind of “creative accounting” that Worldcom did. Any guesses as to the number of my former coworkers who believed that? (Give you a hint, its equal to the odds of my showing up for work in the morning.)
Of course, what really tipped me off that this was a bullshit termination job on your part was what one of my coworkers said. I told him that I’d informed the boss about the security holes in our computer system. His response, “Big mistake. My wife works in IT and they know what all the holes are. You’ve just moved yourself to the head of the termination list.” Sure enough, shortly after I’d sent the boss the e-mail telling him about the security hole, everything I did wrong was documented, everytime I was late, it was logged (whereas according to the employee handbook, its entirely optional if they log it or not), and then there’s the incident itself that got me axed. It happened almost a week ago, while my immediate supervisor was here, he goes on vacation and his boss finds out about what happened. Instead of axing me at the end of the day, which is SOP for the place, I’m cut before my first break. Odd that. If I’d have known it was coming, I’d have stayed in bed.
Oh well, I was looking for a job when I found that one, and I’m sure that I’ll find another one soon enough. Worse comes to worse I can always pimp myself on the street corner. (I’ll certainly feel more like I’m earning an honest living that way, whereas when I worked for you shitheads…)