The cooked mixture is sodden. It’s also somewhat tasteless - both I imagine, related to our extremely rainy, cool spring. (both were picked at an organic farm 3 days ago, so the issue is not transport/travel/industrial farming practices, so don’t go there).
I was going to top it with a streusel but that’s right out. Do you think a biscuit top crust would soak up some of the liquid? Any other ideas?
Simmer it on the stove top to reduce the moisture. Water is the enemy of flavor, and if there’s too much you want it to go away, not get soaked up by something else.
I already simmered it a couple of hours last night. I kind felt that did all it could do. Do you think I can still keep simmering?
Definitely! You’d be surprised how much liquid you can get out of something. You can actually reduce/concentrate pumpkin pack, and that’s already pretty dry.
Low heat, no lid, keep an eye on it, and stir frequently. When it gets to the point that you can feel stuff trying to stick to the bottom, you’ll have to stir it more or less constantly, but you can still reduce it further. The more liquid you remove the more intense you make the flavor of what’s already in the pot, and if you’re on top of it (keeping it moving, scraping the bottom of the pot) over low heat it’ll be tough to burn.
To doctor the flavors you could, add a smidge (1/8 - 1/4 teaspoon) of salt, and depending on whether the flavor is tart or sweet you could add some sugar or lemon juice.
If the flavor is alright, but the texture is still too liquid, you could use a little cornstarch (disolved in liquid and then mixed in), which will gel things up. But to my mind that’s cheating 
Good luck!
Flavorwise I already added 5 heaping teaspoons of brown sugar and a little bit of vanilla. It’s plenty tart. It was almost inedibly tart before, like eating a raw lemon. Normally the strawberries would balance the sweetness, but they just weren’t sweet.
Thanks for the advice. It’s all a bit of a bummer.
Sometimes challenges like this result in amazing results. For instance, adversity, unexpected problems, and inexperience resulted in my creating the singular, never-to-be-made-again Chocolate Fuckit Pie. So hang in there and have fun with it!
Cornstarch will thicken it, lemon and sugar will give it zing and sweetness. Rhubarb can be very sour, don’t be afraid to add quite a bit of sugar.
also (if I recall correctly) the lemon will bring back the red color of the rhubarb (still don’t understand this tainting of it with strawberry though, i must be a mutant)
Thoughts
Ramp up the sugar and make jam (if you have enough)
Make Ice-cream/ sorbet/ ice-lollies
Use it in place of liquid in a cake, scone or muffin recipe
Pectin and arrowroot might help thicken it up
Add cinnamon, anise, cardamom or ginger to perk up the flavour
Consider adding another fruit to bulk it up and add taste and texture- apple or pear, plum or peach would work with the flavours, but the stone fruit probably won’t give the texture you want.
Per the tartness, my grandma’s strategy was to add as much sugar as she dared to add and then she closed her eyes and added another scoop of sugar.
that’s how I feel.
I am very much considering S-R ice cream at the moment. I have to put the ice cream tub thingy in the freezer…