My daughter’s HS graduation is on Friday, and she said we would need to get there 1 1/2 hours early to get “good” seats. (Let’s leaving aside the issue of whether ANY seat at a graduation could be accurately described as “good”…) I found myself suspecting that certain family groups would send one emissary early, to save a number of seats.
What are your thoughts about saving seats at general admission events? Do you personally save seats? If so, how many “savers” do you think should be able to save how many seats? What is your response when you arrive at a venue and find people saving large numbers of seats?
I would probably say that a person can save a seat on either side of themselves. So 1 person can easily save 3 seats, or 2 people can save 6. The situation that kind of bugs me is when one person sits on the end of a row and places a jacket on the seat at the other end of the row, saving an entire row of 10 or more seats.
Of course, tho I find the practice distasteful, it seems quite commonplace and accepted in my community, and I certainly am not going to try to singlehandedly reform everyone. So I don’t say anything, and just try to find a seat in the back. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even waste any emotions stewing over what assholes I think the “savers” are.
I think saving a few seats, such as 3 or 4, is reasonable for an event where there will be plenty of seats to go around. Some people really get out of hand with it, though When I went to the local high school graduation last weekend there was one guy saving 16 of the best seats in the house. Granted, this was in the WVU Colisseum, which can seat about 14,000, but these were the GOOD seats.
If space is limited, I don’t think anyone should be able to save more than one or two seats.
I think if someone were “saving seats” and there was stuff on the seats, I wouldn’t think to question it at all. So theoretically one person could “save” a whole row of seats if they arrived with enough coats, scarves, books etc.
Indeed - one must have a piece of clothing on EACH saved seat. I have seen some people approaching nakedness in movie theaters, and that is right and proper.
I often arrive first at a friend’s bar when a band is playing. I ask the bartender for 4 waters with lemon. I then place a drink at each seat I am saving. I tip the bartender well, and she keeps an eye on my seats.
I have this same situation on Sunday for my daughter’s graduation. She drew me a little map of the auditorium (they graduate at the nearby college since it’s bigger) and said, “Sit here; you’ll be able to see me.”
I have to get her there 90 minutes before it starts, and will need to save 7 seats in addition to my own. My husband will be coming later with our son (he’s nine and there’s no reason for him to sit and wait so long), plus a few additional family members are coming.
I fel funny about trying to save so many seats, so I may have to rope my husband and son into just coming early with me.
I object to the practice. It’s an abuse of courtesy.
As far as I’m concerned, there are two separate practices here, a polite one and an impolite one, which have gotten confused. The polite version is where there are plenty of seats available, and one is reserving specific seats for absent or late-arriving friends so the group can enjoy sitting together. That’s OK.
What NOT ok is where (as in the OP) seats will be scarce, and those who took the trouble to arrive on time are being told “No, YOU sit separately, or way in the back, or not at all, because MY lazy friends have deputized me to behave in an obnoxious, aggressive, rude way for them, so their supreme laziness may be rewarded.” I have no problem pickiong hats, scarves, etc off seats, and telling the saver that people always take precedence over clothing.
It’s hard - for my daughter’s graduation, we have to be there by 9:45 (she has to be there at 8:30). It starts at 10:00 sharp, and they’ve sent home several notices that the doors close at 9:45 and no one (absolutely no exceptions!) will be admitted after that time. It’s a large college auditorium (concert hall, actually) and there will be plenty of seats. Plenty of good seats is another story. If I get her there at 8:30 and go find seven decent seats and save them for my other family members who get there at 9:30, is that okay? They’re not really late, they just don’t want to have to sit for 90 minutes doing nothing. It’s going to be a long ceremony. She has just over 500 kids in her class.
Still seems rude and self-righteous to me. I get there before your husband and your kid, I’m entitled to the seats. Sorry, but I’m here and they’re not. Why should I have to stand or sit apart from my friends and family?
Again, you’re abusing courtesy. It’s fine with me to let you reserve seats if there are 400 seats and no more than 300 people are showing up. But if 500 people will show up, sorry, but I decline to be quite so generous, and it’s my call, not yours.
pseud and biblio - I really can’t say what is right or wrong.
All I can offer is my opinions and feelings.
In your case, biblio, I can imagine being less than pleased if I got there at 9:15 - 1/2 hour early in my mind, and saw you and a bunch of other people saving 7 seats each. Of course, I find myself thinking people are acting rudely or inconsiderately on nearly a daily basis. Unlike pseud, I generally choose to keep my feelings to myself.
If I ran things, the only people who could have seats saved for them would be little kids, infirm aged people, or other people with health problems that would make sitting for prolonged periods difficult. And a single person saving more than 2-3 seats plus their own seems a mite excessive in my view. I’d feel awkward as hell doing it myself. Hell, I can’t imagine a situation where I would do it.
pseud - I’d love to hear of some of the times you moved clothing and sat your butt down. Were words exchanged? Did you consider the age/gender/size of the saver? What types of events were they? Anything happen when the latecomers came?
I recall one time I said something to a saver - something along the lines of “That’s really rude.” And I realized that the saver and the folks around him pretty obviously thought I was the one out of line.
Wish I had some examples handy. I’m usually a compulsive early-arriver and normally a witness rather than a participant.
Theoretically, couldn’t I arrive at 5:30 a.m. supplied with 300 handkerchiefs, and inform everyone as they tried to find good seats, “Sorry, I’ve saved these?” There’d be a riot, right? So on what basis have you set the reasonable number at the exact size of your family?
I’m really saying that seat-savers have extended the courtesy given to their families to an entitlement. Obviously, you’re willing (I hope) to concede that once the ceremony has actually begun, and you’ve saving six seats in the front row while I’m standing in the back, that maybe you’re family’s not getting here at all, and you need to surrender those seats, right? Why does my seven-year-old have to stand while your handkercheif occupies an otherwise vacant seat? If your answer is “He shouldn’t–here, sit down,” as any decent human being’s would be, at what point does your decency kick in? I’d suggest it should kick in as soon as people ask “Is that seat taken?”
Now if the seat’s occupant is off to the Ladies’ room, or chatting in the aisles, I would say that’s okay. But if the person hasn’t yet arrived, I think your promise (which is “I’ll try to save a seat for you as long as I reasonably can”) has just expired. Just MHO.
Can I point something out? The cause of the problem with events like graduations as far as finding seating is concerned is the fact that people save too many seats. If people like you didn’t show up when the doors opened to save seats then people would not have such a hard time arriving a reasonable 20-30 minutes early and find seats. Saving seats, therefore making them more scarce, is precisely why they are at such a commodity and causing people to camp out early.
My take, saving a couple seats for people in the lobby/concession area/bathrooms is fine. Saving 2-3 seats for a couple people a couple minutes behind you is fine. Anything more than 5 minutes is totally out of line.
It’s worst at movie theaters. Especially vexing because you’re not supposed to talk during a movie anyways. Would it change the experience that much if your group of 8 friends paired off and found seats themselves?
I’ll save a seat for 5 minutes. After that, I think you’re really stepping outside the bounds of decency.
Listen…you’re not going to be discussing anything, and you’re not dining. You are sitting quietly through a boring procession, thanking your lucky stars every day that your name doesn’t begin with Z. There’s no reason to sit together. That’s what the party afterward is for. People need to understand that.
Well, I’m not going to be claiming seven seats in the front row. It’s stadium seating, so we should be able to see wherever we sit. She told us to sit up on one side, too, so I’m not going to be hogging prime front row seats.
Well, I’m not going to be claiming seven seats in the front row. It’s stadium seating, so we should be able to see wherever we sit. She told us to sit up on one side, too, so I’m not going to be hogging prime front row seats.
Our school has banned saving blocks of seats at graduation. It’s first there gets the chair. Saving the seat next to you for your husband who is parking the car: ok. Getting there early and roping off 20 seats: not ok. We also helped the situation by limiting every graduate to 8 seats total.
This is in a football stadium, mind you. It will still be SRO on the 14th.
She got five free tickets, and was able to buy up to three additional tickets. We would have taken more, but we were stcuk at eight per family. There are some family members who can’t come because of this.
I feel that laying out money entitles me (just a little bit, not some huge sense of entitlement, here) to saving a few seats.
Still sounds entitled to me. You bought seats, but you need an actual human ass to be able to use the seats. If someone else has brought his/her ass there earlier than you, then they are his or her seats, and do not belong to you and your handkerchief. Again, what’s the difference between the scenario you describe and someone staking out the whole 300-seat theater by getting there at 5:30 a.m. and keeping hundreds of people standing while they pick and choose among their late-arriving friends (all with tickets) which ones get to sit (and where) and which ones have to stand? Who elected him Ticketmaster? The same person who elected you. No one.
I went to see the second LoTR movie on opening day, intending to meet my friend there. I got to the theater early- so early, in fact, that I was only about the thirtieth person in line.
However, by the time I got into the theater, there were so many seats “saved” that I ended up having to sit on the very last row in the theater- and many of the saved seats remained empty until right before the trailers started running.
One seat saved per saver, I say. Locking down entire rows is ridiculously rude.