Say my name, dammit

[Green_Bean]

@Thinktank

Mind you, I do accept nicknames or childhood forms of my name from people that were THERE and learned my name as it was from that time period;

I follow the rule that if you knew me before I was 8, you are allowed to call me “Liz.” Most people I know from that era do call me Elizabeth most of the time because they know I prefer it, but sometimes it pops out. No biggie. They always introduce me to others as Elizabeth. They sometimes call my brother “Billy” too. Heh.

It’s just as simple as listening to the person the first few seconds you meet them and repeating their name the way it was spoken.

This is a good policy in general, because you may have just misheard the name. I’ve gotten “Melissa” a few times, which is not as bizarre as it may seem, because the first 3 syllables of Elizabeth kinda-sorta-almost rhyme with Melissa and it’s a very common name amongst people in my age range.

[Dr.Drake]

People often repeat my name after I say it, and they unconsciously morph it to the more common form with a different pronunciation, spelling, and national origin. If I correct them, they happily repeat their mispronunciation. Even if I say “no, no, rhymes with ‘silver,’” I still have about a 50% success rate.

People are very, very, very wedded to their assumptions.

[Orionizer]

@Thinktank

Mind you, I do accept nicknames or childhood forms of my name from people that were THERE and learned my name as it was from that time period; it’s odd but not uncomfortable. And when someone is truly special to me I also nick them, but I ALWAYS ask them, “What do you think, do you like it?” I care what people think and I never force something onto them that doesn’t make us closer for the change, friends or not.

THIS! I hate it when some people who happen to know my parents think it’s fine to call me the ***ie version of my name. But I did go by it until college. If you knew me from High School, then it’s fine.

[kayaker]

@Dr.Drake

Even if I say “no, no, rhymes with ‘silver,’” I still have about a 50% success rate.

Never met a Bilver. Is it a family name?

[TokyoBayer]

@buddy431

I have a coworker Anthony*, and I can never remember whether he goes by that or Tony. I call him Anthony, figuring it’s better to err on the side or the full name. He’s never said anything. Maybe he secretly hates it but doesn’t want to say anything at work.

I used to let it bother me when people would forget I prefer “Mike” to “Michael” then at some point I realized that since most people prefer the reverse, I don’t worry about it.

I was called Michael as a child by my family so when I got to a certain age, I decided to switch to Mike. Pretty much the reverse of what most people do.

I did draw the line when I had a counselor who consistently made that mistake, even after I explained why I preferred Mike. If a counselor can’t remember what you like then find one who does.

[Doug_K]

@Antinor01

People just don’t listen. My last name is three letters long, but is spelled slightly differently from the spelling you would expect from the way it sounds.

I hear you. My last name is also short, but it’s spelled (apart from the initial consonant) exactly the same as at least ten common English words that rhyme with it, as well as a few not so common words. I always spell it out for people, and they still insist on cutesifying the vowel.

[gigi]

@Orionizer

THIS! I hate it when some people who happen to know my parents think it’s fine to call me the ***ie version of my name. But I did go by it until college. If you knew me from High School, then it’s fine.

I’ve met two people so far that must feel a compulsion to -ie everyone’s name. “Gwennie” is never going to be my first choice and I even find it cringeworthy. Unfortunately these people refer to me like that and then others follow their lead.

[Thinktank]

Orionizer I would have to agree with you on what you disagree with, but did wonder why you quoted something of mine that you believe showed an example of such an action.
People I nickname as said earlier are VERY close to me such as a girl that care for very much named Kasia. She would go by many different forms of her name but forms such as the examples provided with the name “Elizabeth”, in other words, they were in most cases proper variations on the given name. I nicked her “Kas”, I also asked if anyone else called her this and if it was OK. She was fine with it and I’ve never called her anything else

I don’t mind so much if it’s a friend of my parents that I also liked as a kid and they still call me by the childhood form of my name. As I said odd, but not really too uncomfortable. The level of intimacy in the relationship is paramount to the ability to nickname or BE nicknamed and this still be OK.
If you don’t know me well, you’re not doing yourself any favors by assuming things like what I like to or WILL go by.

I was somewhat the entertainer in HS, I would imitate people, do voices, impressions whatever and sometimes end-up nicking myself in character at times. On occasion the nick stuck, and it stuck from friends of mine, it was sorta an appreciation of my effort, so it never bothered me that a one-off improv moment became a nick for me from certain folks.

[Hershele_Ostropoler]

No one calls me by a nickname.

People sometimes, for no clear reason, utter those forms of my given name in my presence.

(Or, as Data put it, “one is my name. The other is not.”)

[lorene]

@EmilyG

Some of my friends call me “Em.” I say sometimes that it sounds like they’re calling me the letter M. So one of my friends now calls me “M” when he writes to me. It’s kind of amusing, actually.

My preferred nickname is actually the first letter of my name. My family calls me something different (my childhood nickname) despite my many attempts to get them to stop. Then again, they were the ones who came up with it in the first place, so I guess that’s a losing battle.

[kaylasdad99]

I’m a “Michael.” I decided to be a “Michael” as a teenager, in the 1970s. Up to then I was used to “Mike” from my family and friends. People who know me from those days get a pass on “Mike.”

I do get annoyed some at work, when my co-workers call me “Mike,” but I’m confrontation-averse enough that I never actually do anything about it. What really annoys me is when my supervisor calls me “Mr. Brown.”

I mean, “Yes, it’s my last name, but you’re my supervisor. When you call me that it feels like you regard me as a temporary visitor to the workplace, rather than a subordinate co-worker.”

Here’s an obligatory Monty Python link.

[jerez]

**…what makes you think you can just change my name to what you feel like? **

I agree with the OP and have strong feelings about the matter, but I think there’s usually no ill will involved when people get one’s name wrong. Some might not be paying attention or just have a memory lapse, but others are probably trying to show that they like you. It’s definitely worth correcting but not worth getting upset, IMO.

As indicated upthread, some people use different names on the basis of familiarity: one name for acquaintences, another for friendships and another to used only by family members. Although it’s very common practice, I’d had practically no exposure to the concept until I was a young adult. Initially, I found it to be baffling and, frankly, a little superficial, but it’s how a large part of the world prefers to do things and there is actually a practical side to it, so I’ve come to respect it.

When I meet someone with an unusual name, I always ask them to repeat it, then I say it and ask if I’m pronouncing it correctly. This usually makes the oddly named person uncomfortable for a moment, as if they were thinking, “Here we go again,” so, if it seems appropriate, I add that it’s an important thing to get right. In my experience, people always appreciate that.

[Martini_Enfield]

Relating to the theme of Australians shortening people’s names - often, if you’ve got a long or “Foreign” name (especially one which is hard to pronounce in English or just sounds odd to Australians), people are likely going to come up with a shorter version pretty quickly, so it’s a good idea to have a preferred name/nickname you can throw out there too - As in “Hi, I’m Dongfen; call me Don.”

[Sunny_Daze]

My slight variation on the irk is when I introduce myself and people correct my pronunciation. As in, “I’m Jane”, “Oh, you mean John”. No, no I don’t. Just because you’ve never met anyone with my name doesn’t mean you know how to say it. I usually correct them. Occasionally we do a short Abbott and Costello skit, and off we go with our days.

[pulykamell]

@Inner_Stickler

I’m not bothered by being called by a nickname. The most common one for my name is simply the first syllable so it doesn’t sound childish or cutesy. But I will refer to people how they introduced themselves to me.

That’s my rule. I don’t mind any variant of my first name, and I’ll only very occasionally correct the last name, and that’s usually because sometimes people throw in an “l” for some reason. But any ballpark pronunciation of it, I’m okay with. But I just happen not to give a damn about names. As long as they’re not trying to be disrespectful, I like nicknames, and I personally consider them endearing. But not everyone shares this feeling, so if I’m introduced to someone, I make sure I call them by the name they introduced me with or, in the case where it might be ambiguous, I simply ask their preference.

[Dr.Girlfriend]

@Miss_Gnomer

I’m not sure which country you are in … but don’t ever visit/live in Australia if this upsets you! It’s a cultural norm to abbreviate or change people’s names … and done by strangers. If you got upset at this, you would be considered very odd and pretentious!

I’m Rachel. “Rach” usually makes me cringe, but there are a handful of people who I let call me Rach. My mom’s brothers, and my friend in Australia. Anyone else gets a “Nope, it’s Rachel” until they figure it out.

[Martini_Enfield]

@Dr.Girlfriend

I’m Rachel. “Rach” usually makes me cringe, but there are a handful of people who I let call me Rach. My mom’s brothers, and my friend in Australia. Anyone else gets a “Nope, it’s Rachel” until they figure it out.

I thought you were Dr Mrs The Monarch and your real name was Sheila? (Sorry, couldn’t resist )

[Tibby]

There is nothing that gets my goat more than people who can’t be bothered to call me or my family members by our full proper names, nor learn to pronounce them correctly. I simply wish to be addressed by my title, first and surname, exactly as written on my birth certificate. Is that really asking too much? No, I do not think that is asking too much.

Do not call me some cockamamie nick name in lieu of my given first name (e.g. if my name is Beauregard, do not call me “Bo”); and do not call me some abbreviated version of my inherited surname (e.g. if my surname is McGillicuddy, do not presume to call me Mr. M).

In my case, I’m quite proud that my German parents named me after the quaint Welsh town that dad knocked mom up in when I was conceived, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Please refer to me by that name, dammit, not some stupid nickname like, “Llan.” And, excuse me if German people often have rather long surnames…that certainly does not give you license to shorten it in order to save you some precious milliseconds pronouncing it fully.

My name as listed on my birth certificate is, Dr. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswesenchafewarenwholgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangereifenduchihrraubgiriigfeindewelchevorralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelshegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevanverstandigmenshlichkeittkonntevortpflanzenundsicherfreunanlebenslamdlichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintlligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, Senior.

My son is Professor Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswesenchafewarenwholgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangereifenduchihrraubgiriigfeindewelchevorralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthiwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelshegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevanverstandigmenshlichkeittkonntevortpflanzenundsicherfreunanlebenslamdlichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintlligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, Junior.

My wife and I have always had an affinity for enzymes, so we named our precious daughter, methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutaminylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolylphenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanylglycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylalanylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylglutaminylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylglycylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionylleucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleucylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylvalylphenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyrosylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleucylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphenylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylalanylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylaspartylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosylglycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycylvalylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleucylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparaginylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylserylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanylglycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalyllysylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylprolylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalylglutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine.

At home we call her Serina, but demand she be called by her full name in public. (BTW, my wife originally wanted to name her after the chemical name of Titin, but, I thought that was a wee bit on the unfeminine side, so I nixed it).
…April Fools! My parent’s aren’t German, they’re Chinese. My last name is really “Ma”. Everything else is true, though…