Saying hi

I guess this would be the forum for an introduction. I found this site recently, and became most intrigued, and spent many confusing yet fascinating hours perusing the columns, old and new. Confusing, because I had done a search on “dope” and wound up here, and the rather 90s look-and-feel of the place had me wondering if it was the abandoned side-project of some highly-knowledgeable pothead, but then I noticed the columns are current. Also confusing because I’m still not entirely sure if the anwers are always serious, given the ‘fascinating’ nature of some of the questions posed. Still, there is some interesting stuff, and as it happens I have questions encompassing aspects of life other than getting baked, so here I am.
Albeit warily, as it was with some bemusement I realized one has to pay to be a member of this board. I was hoping to at least get search capabilities on registering for demo account, but I guess not. This edit dialogue also seems rather sparse, do more options become available to members? Is there just one kind of membership or some kind of gold or premium level?

Well anyway, I have more reading to read, smell ya later!

Hello HumanMonkeyGod. Are you Hanuman by any chance? Welcome to the boards.

Answers to your questions: Search is available upon subscribing as is a five-minute edit window. Only one type of membership is available.

Still we all manage to have a good time. Hope you enjoy. Oh, and just sit tight, they’ll be bringing the squid around shortly. Er…it’s not to eat.

Hello HumanMonkeyGod. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay! :slight_smile:

Welcome, HumanMonkeyGod! :slight_smile:
Please come this way, and sample the buffet. We’re out on the terrace today now that the heat has passed.

Hal, fire up the RoboGoat, we got another live one!

I say we honey and feather this one before we toss him to Mariah!

When did we move from goats to squid?? Can I get a copy of that memo?

I never said it was from goats *to *squid. Call it an upgrade if you will.

Due to recent influx of new posters, the goat is no longer able to… well, you know. :eek:
Hence, the squid. It’s very nearly the same, so they say.
Welcome, HumanMonkeyGod!

It was probably a couple of months ago, when I was running late to [del]an initiation[/del] a welcome thread. I had a, well, mishap with the goat, and we had to go chase down the back-up goat. Squid at least stay in the holding tank.

Anyway, welcome HumanMonkeyGod. Remember that all discussions of pet cats require photos, Doper women are better looking than you think, and pie is a must.

Welcome, WELCOME, HumanMonkeyGod! If anyone deserves induction into this Hall of Flame without shelling out fifteen (nonrefundable) clams in advance, it has to be you!

I mean, did you see his name? He’s a perfect candidate for shaving the gorilla! I have the lime jello — who’s got the cuttlebone?

Hey man, welcome aboard. Gotta say, I loved your temple.

Welcome HumanMonkeyGod. :slight_smile:

Welcome, welcome, welcome! It seems you’ve stumbled across our little treasure trove of inane arcana. Pay the lousy 15 bucks, stay a while, and soon you’ll find you discovered The Best Part of the Internet ™.

Ask stupid questions. Ask serious questions. Flame someone once in a while. Flame yourself. Just have fun :smiley:

As opposed to the middle of the internet.

I say we sponsor this one- the prescience is breathtaking.

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Oh- and welcome to The Straight Dope. You’re going to love it here.

Quality liquor and chocolates will get you far with the grown-ups.

And pie! Don’t forget the pie!
Chocolate pie with some sort of liquor works for me. :cool:

Hi Monkey! I’m also new and just beginning to get used to it here. Everyone is very welcoming and there is a lot to learn once you start looking around :slight_smile:

[Verizon guy]

Can you smell me now?

How about now?


[/Verizon guy]

Wow, thanks everyone. Particularly blondebear, I loled (lolled? eh). :slight_smile: