OK, technically, it’s not Amway, but a close relative of mine has gotten involved with one of those networking marketing deals. I think it’s a scam but, hey…he and his wife are adults and can do whatever they want with their money. Here’s the problem: they began a few months ago mentioning briefly that they were involved with a new business, and asking vaguely if I wouldn’t mind just checking it out, just listening to their presentation…for practice, you understand. I said, “Yeah, sure. Maybe. Whatever.”
Now, however, the requests have become slightly more urgent. They talk about how many people they now have beneath them, and how they are starting to make money on the purchases of others. Sure. Uh huh. Anyway, it's clear to me that they've already burned through their own friends and acquaintances and have now set their sights on mine! In addition to still wanting me to sit through their presentation, they now want me to draw up a list of friends I think might be interested in making some extra money.
Needless to say, that's never gonna happen. BUT here's where I need help: what's the best way to politely but firmly say, "Absolutely not. I think it's a scam. I'm not interested and I'm certainly not gonna get my friends involved"......but not in those words?
For the record, these are very close family members. I can't simply avoid them, but any other advice would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
Something along the lines of “I’ve decided it’s not for me.” You say this to anything and everything that’s proposed, with no digression to discuss why, or for anything else. You’ll need to repeat it a couple dozen times before it takes hold.
Yeah, but I think that could sound kinda harsh. If I repeat that over and over it’s gonna sound like a confrontation. It is the strategy I’d use with strangers or distant acquaintances, but I don’t think it will work in this case. I guess I’m looking for some way that’s a bit more tactful, you know?
They have abused the friendships of their own friends and relatives, and now want to run through yours? They began the confrontation a long time ago-you need to put a stop to it now.
Nothing short of a verbal sledgehammer will dissuade them. Don’t worry about being harsh. You’ve already refused them, right? And they’ve ignored your refusal, right? Now it’s time to up the ante. Tell them ONCE that you don’t want to discuss it any further, and you’re not interested in any part of this. Tell them that any further attempts at discussion of any aspect of this will lead to you not talking to them. And then follow through. I don’t care if this is your identical twin, you must make absolutely clear to this person that you are NOT going to even listen to any aspect of the business. This person is trying to find an opening, to get a discussion going. That’s what the upstream people will tell them to do. Don’t play this game.
Maybe try something like, “I’m not interested in doing sales or in giving out personal info on my friends; this is no longer up for discussion.” Repeat as necessary.
If you want to be totally honest, and also totally nice, try this:
First, actually do mention this to all of your friends and ask if they’d be interested. Feel free to tell them why you’re doing it, you don’t have to try to sell them on it at all. Then, when they all say no, you can tell your relative, “geez man, I mentioned it to all of my friends, but no one was interested.”
Hmmmmm. I kinda like this. I’ve also thought about something along the lines of, “Aw, jeez, I don’t know. Most of my friends are pretty much deadbeats and I’d hate to ruin what could be a successful business venture for you with my idiot friends.”
But I’m not sure they’d buy that.
And to Lynn Bodoni, I haven’t exactly said “no” quite yet. I’ve been pretty much avoiding the topic and changing the subject as best I can. I’m usually pretty good at that, but now they’re talking about bringing my friends into the mix…I can’t really ignore the situation for much longer.
People not wanting to be rude is the reason why they can still do what they do. Its not going to stop until you’ve made it perfectly clear that you are not and will never be interested.
I know that and you know that and these two are not the kind who would normally fall for this sort of thing…but somehow they’ve convinced themselves that this is the real deal! :rolleyes:
There’s really no perfectly non-confrontational way and out, and, as has been mentioned, they started being rude first. I think you really have to say no, I think it’s a scam, stop asking me.
The thing is, a lot of these rackets won’t ever stop pressuring the marks to hustle friends and family until they’re all either assimilated into the Borg (by far the less frequent outcome), or completely alienated.
If it was somebody I was really close to like, say, a brother, I would not be afraid to be frank, but I would likely try to frame things in a way that showed concern for them. I’d strongly encourage them to get out and let them know I’d still be there for them for anything BUT the Scamway* pitches.
Ah, then we’ve found your problem. You have to tell them NO, HELL NO, in a clear, carrying voice. Don’t worry about being rude. You need to get your point across. You might even need a physical sledgehammer, as well as a verbal one.
I was kinda sucked into one of those (went to a couple meetings, was given a ride and $25 ticket to a meeting a couple hour drive away) and just decided… Nope. No thanks. In the small print they were related to Amway (was started by one of the kids of the family that started Amway or something) and I said no.
A quick look online made me say screw that… The only groups on facebook for this program built completely on “networking” were dedicated to how much they hate it because their friends had gotten sucked into it.
The Better Business Bureau gave them the o.k. but that was only because it “technically” wasn’t a scam… It just wasn’t a total scam. You spend all of your time getting other people to join and pay the money to go to these big meetings.
Yes, you buy these products from “your own business” and they show up at your door. Not too bad cost, shipping manageable. Meh, whatever. But you end up spending ALL your time getting people to join and go to meetings.
quickstar, I think it was called.
ABC or one of those Dateline things or whatever did a special on it and found that 90+% of the money the higher ups say they get is actually from the tickets of these meetings. A few other people that arn’t of the higher up do make money… and you can if you go all at it yourself… but you won’t me making millions and you will lose your life into it. Amway of the coffee shops. All the people that were higher ups in it refused to an interview and for the hell of it dateline or whatever it was called did a background check on one of the higher ups and found (and reported) that the guy had multiple DUIs and possession of coke. Didn’t really change my mind on the whole thing but was an odd fact.
In my experiences, there is no “polite” way to effectively stop them from hassling you. I used to work at a small printshop where I would print marketing materials for a member of an MLM operation. Every time I saw him, he would ask me to join. I even used the broke, deadbeat friend excuse. He responded by pointing out that I could purchase mailing lists and send materials to complete strangers, some of who “would surely be interested”. If I said I were broke, he’d go into how it only cost $50 to get into and I could market for free online. There was simply no way to “politely” (I had to use an extremely high level of tact because of our client / clientele relationship and the fact that he was helping pay my paycheck) decline his offer. I never did get him to stop asking.
If I were in the situation again, I would have a lot more fun with it while dissuading him at the same time. I would fight fire with fire by telling him that I was putting all of my resources into my (fictitious) business plan of selling live bait door to door. Then I would offer him the opportunity to get into the groundlevel of this limitless moneymaking opportunity by investing capital for shovels and bird removal.
Poke them in the eye everytime the subject is brought up. If they ever bother ask you why you are poking them, say “Ask me about AMWAY AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!”
Just say “no.” In the booklets that they get when they start their business, they have a long list of counters to every excuse and reason that you will give them. You’ll just end up in an argument.
I’ve mentioned my former friends that got sucked into Quixtar (Amway’s online arm.) I finally got so frustrated that I told him, “look, I don’t want to turn my friends and family into clients.” He finally gave up.
The asshole that I hired to do some wallpaper/painting a couple of times called me to try to get me to join. I politely declined. He called again six months later and I just hung up on him. Needless to say he lost me as a client for his day job which I’m sure he still has.
I hate to say it but from personal experience I’ve never had a single friendship survive when someone I know got involved in this type of business. The friend never takes no for an answer no matter how politely or firmly presented and never stops pushing their scam business. Even threats that further discussion will result in a termination of a friendship fails to get through their cult-like fervor that THIS WILL MAKE US RICH mindset.
