All politics is local.
Then it’s freakin’ hilarious.
Life is like a sewer…
What you get out of it depends
on what you put INTO it.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Jesus is coming. Try to look busy…
sorry spider, someone had to do it
Who’s spider? 
This is a piss-poor way to run a railroad.
What is the sound of one hand falling in the woods if no one is around to hear it?
Lysdexia socks.
Soumetymes, I truy tou spelle in Canadien as though I woure north of the bourdour, bout theiy dooon’t aprrreciate it. What’s the bloudy pouint? I think they knit extra vowels in the winter, then they scatter them everywhere they go, as if they were zucchinis in August. :rolleyes: I suppose, up there, it’s :roulleyes:
Just kidding, neighbours. 
Let sleeping bags lie.
People in Hell want ice water too, but you don’t see them getting that either.
If it was raining soup I’d have a fork.
A bird in the hand, can be quite messy
*whispers to **xayoz306 *, either feed it or squish it… it’s either worth the time or it’s vermin
Nine stitches means none were in time.
Spelling checkers are for sissies.
All footwear should be black. All lipstick should be red. All waists should be cinched.
If a man says something in a forest, where no woman can hear him, is he still wrong?
Projects take twice the time planned to be completed, even when this rule is taken into account.
No good deed goes unpunished.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my disk?
A computer is a device designed to make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
You can fool some of the people all the time,and those are the ones to concentrate upon.
If knowledge is power, and power corrupts, and corruption is crime, and crime doesnt pay… Does knowledge, in the end, leave you broke?
The little boat gently drifted across the pond,
exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
May you live in interesting times.