Popular sayings: UNdoperize them!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Sure, we’re all perfectly capable of taking popular sayings and turning them into their more erudite, if unnecessarily verbose companions. But how 'bout tackling it from the other end? The rules are simple and much like the sister thread: Dig through all the obfuscation and return the phrase to its original, succinct maxim. Follow it up with your own verbosified phrase for the next poster to untangle.

I’ll start with an easy one.

That which is universally abhorable stems from the generalized form of a nation’s barter system.

2

Um…

“Your mother is a whore.”
Did I get it right?

3

“Money is the root of all evil.”

Of the many options available in the capture of Musca domestica, a dilution of acetic acid will deliver results that are sub-optimal, especially when compared to the biological product of the Apis mellifera.

4

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

Given a collection of objects, those which sparkle with reflected light are not comprised entirely of a substance with atomic weight 196.966543

5

All that glitters is not gold.

"The annualized birthrate of persons who are easily induced to part with their money is 3,153,600."

6

There’s a sucker born every minute.

Continued surveillance of a thermally excited vessel will prevent any aqueous solution contained therein from attaining phase change.

7

A watched pot never boils.

That which travels outward in a circular direction will return inward in a circular direction.

8

Upon your return, be sure you possess a baked fruit pastry.

Masturbator!

9

What goes around, comes around.

10

Copulate with the humorless.

11

Fuck’em if they can’t take a joke
There’s a lady in Michigan who has sex for money

I have no idea if that’s a local thing or not, so it might be a bit obscure

12

Joey, this Is obscure. So I’m gonna keep the ball rolling until ypu come back and elaborate:

Philantrophist, Indigent, Almsmith, Filtcher.

13

Rich man, poor man, beggar, thief.

14

Absent ShibbOleth’s contribution I’ll add another:

The failure to achieve a specific goal is equivalent to a unit of distance equal to 5,280 feet.

15

A miss is as good as a mile.

If your initial attempt doesn’t bring about your desired outcome, make a second attempt and further subsequent attempts.

16

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

It is generally accepted that situations provoking strong declamations of one’s own anger are to be preferred over the discomfort and humiliation of oneself being micturated upon.

17

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

I’ll leave some of the other ones open rather than start a fifth open one.

18

An ocular discharge is of no consequence when the bovine production is distibuted randomly from it’s desired placement

19

It’s no use crying over spilt milk.

Before visiting the Tuscan Archipelago, your humble narrator was simply omnipotent.

20

Able was I ere I saw Elba.

Brainiac4: You miscalculated — a year consists of a mere 525,600 minutes.

Still open:

Upon your return, be sure you possess a baked fruit pastry.

There’s a lady in Michigan who has sex for money