Game: Put the common saying into a modern/alternate context

You’ve got the name of the game. Here’s an example:

“He who has the gold makes the rules” becomes:

“He who has the trust fund, Porsche, and Swiss bank account makes the rules”

Got it? Good. The only rule is that your spin must make some kind of sense in the spirit of the original saying. You can’t say “He who has the hamster makes the rules” because that makes no sense.

O.K., go!

You can’t judge a video by it’s thumbnail.

Do unto others as you would not sue them for if they had done to you.

A hundred dollars saved is a hundred dollars earned.

I used to think I had it bad because I had no Ferragamos. Then I met a woman with no access to credit.

A virus scan in time saves a reformatting.

Walk softly, and carry a big glock 9.

A man is known by the company he embezzles from.

Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and another season of Survivor.

One man’s loss is another man’s future lawsuit.

The best things in life are taxed.

The grass is always greener on the manicured side of the fence.

Those who live in glass houses should not watch porn.

Bleesed are the meek, for they make up a large percentage of the voting public.

Too many chefs spoil daytime TV.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, unless you have a good spin doctor.

Look before you delete.

Preview twice, post once.

Don’t kick a gift car in the tires.

The keyboard is mightier than the gun.

Home is where the computer is.

The shows are always better on a different channel.

If at first you don’t succeed, reload, and start again!

If at first you don’t succeed, society’s to blame.

A jpeg is worth a thousand KB.

If it ain’t broke, don’t upgrade it.

Early to bed and early to rise and you’ve passed up prime time for infomercials.

A check in the hand is worth two in the mail.

If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the Pit.

Google no questions and get no worthless cites.

Beware of Geeks sending GIFs.

Don’t try and teach your Grandma to code in Fortran.

If wishes were source code, then management could develop software.

It takes a hacker to catch a hacker.

Reverse engineering is the sincerest form of flattery.

It’s no use debugging the code once the product has shipped.

Considering that Grace Hopper had so much to do with the creation of COBOL, I think that the better version of this would be:

Don’t try and teach your Grandma to code in COBOL.

If at first you don’t succeed, Ctrl-Alt-Del.

Don’t let the firewall hit you on the way out.

The battle is not always to the video card, nor the race to the CPU, but that’s the way to bet it.

Never count your chips while you’re still logged on to the Poker site.

Don’t count your stock shares before they’ve split.

Don’t have extreme plastic surgery to spite your face.

Double-blind studies have shown that laughter is outperformed by medicine.

It’s always darkest right before the blue screen of death.

He whose laughs are massively forwarded, laughs forever.