Schadenfreude (sp?)

The BBQ Pit
21

I hestitate to do this…but what the hell.

I’m going to ask again why you bothered to start this thread.
It’s not a rant. You’re not upset over anything and venting. You’re not flaming a poster. This is, at its core, a thread that would fall under MPSIMS. Except that it isn’t mundane. It’s sick and twisted. And you knew that in your OP! You knew you’d get flamed for it. You knew you’d be called a bastard.
You knew that despite it being something you felt compared to share, this thread would take on the quality that it has. So the only appropriate place to put it is in the Pit before the moderators could do it for you. But you didn’t have to post it at all. So why bother?
The only purpose this thread could serve is allow posters to justifiably lower their opinion of you. Congrats.

22

Reckon you answered your own question there, Ender.

On the way to work the other day, in freezing rain at dusk, a person in a Suburban Assault Vehicle nearly rear-ended me, then cut in front of me, causing me to hit my brakes hard enough for the ABS to kick in. The person then proceeded to weave in and out of traffic until the rain and sleet shrouded the car from my view.

Not ten minutes later, I saw that SUV on the side of the road, wrapped around a telephone pole, driver yelling into her cell phone as she stomped about in the rain checking the damage.

You’re fucking right I laughed. And I would have laughed if she’d been injured, too. I would have helped out as much as possible, but I’d have laughed.

Admittedly, there’s a cause and effect there, but for the most part it seems to me a difference only in scale. Idiot drives like an asshole, idiot totals car, I laugh. Ex-roommate is a dick to everyone and everything, ex-roommate gets blinding headaches and is forced to act like a human being, BW laughs.

In the abstract, I don’t want BW’s ex-roommate to die. Death is yucky. But in practical terms, I don’t really give a rodent’s fundament. I don’t know the guy, I don’t care to, his life or death affect me not at all, tolling bell notwithstanding.

Hey, I’m going to cheer when Augusto Pinochet finally kicks off. Ya figure on ripping me a new one when I start a Pit thread to laugh about it?

23

I can understand how you feel and don’t think you’re a jerk as I was in a similar situation.

There is a guy that I’ve known for many, many years. I’m friends with three of five his older sisters and watched him grow up. He’s the same age as my brother, Peter.

He tormented my brother. He made fun of Peter, publicly berated him, pulled cruel pranks on him, etc. It hurt me deeply (and caused my brother to sink into a deeper shell) and yes, I endlessly confronted the jerk. He refused to give up but only turned on the abuse when I wasn’t around. He was still at it when they turned 21.

Anyway, the jerk got a brain tumor two years ago. I didn’t laugh, but, as a non-believer in karma, was instantly struck by the karmic irony. I didn’t even wish him well because I secretly hoped he would suffer the same way my brother suffered (and still suffers).

The guy did suffer and he survived (it was a malignant tumor, too). He hasn’t made fun of my brother since and I feel some sort of justice has been served.

I can’t help but roll my eyes at all the morally superior people who are saying your emotions are “wrong”. I think it’s ok to think bad things sometimes - you might change your mind at some point. Acting them out is something completely different.

24

SaxFace, if my posts sounded as if I was trying to be “morally superior”, I apologize - that was not my intent.

I believe in karma as well. And yes, what comes around sometimes DOES go around. And I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that I haven’t at one point or another said to myself “well - looks like he/she got what they had comin’ to them.”

But to say that I have wished pain and trouble upon a person for a long time and done the proverbial happy dance when I found out that something possibly horrific enough to include a long, painful death has happend to them is a totally different thing.

Again, I apologize if I came across wrong - I am not trying to prove that I’m “morally superior” - hell, I feel inferior to my Dog fer Christ sake. All I’m saying is that I found the “glee” with which the news was taken (for lack of a better word) distasteful. As I mentioned in an earlier post. I think.

Fuck it. Now I’m not making any sense.

25

No, Missy, you do make sense. Thanks for clarifying! I don’t recall specific posters, I just had the general idea that some people were horrified that someone thought something ill and we all know all humans are guilty of that.

Interesting interpretations from BW’s OP, though.

26

I have felt the same way as blessedwolf, and (in my case), what is interpreted as being “happy dance” was more like a smug, satisfied feeling that cosmic justice was being done. Which, in turn, can create sensations of glee. I think the glee comes from knowing that the Universe is on your side, rather than the actual suffering of others.

27

Sax,

I guess I need to clarify, rather than be thought morally superior as well. Actually, that doesn’t sound too bad…me, Pope John Paul III.

I don’t blame anyone for having evil thoughts. We all have them from time to time. I have them more than my fair share. But most of us don’t feel the need to share them.

If I posted “I like to cut the limbs off of cute puppies in my spare time” do you realize how mercillessly I would be roasted to a crisp? Rightfully so. Not just that I had the thought but that I figured anyone on this board would want to hear it.

So blessedwolf thinks his ex-roommate should die. Kinda terrible. But not as terrible as randomly posting his thoughts as if we’d care. Even worse is him doing it knowing full well that we would think him a bastard. I mean, posting out of sheer ignorance is one thing, but posting for no reason other than to just to get a rise out of the other posters? Why?

FTR, Saxface, I agree with you on your example. That woman was driving recklessly and got exactly what she deserved. I probably would have laughed as well. Had she been decapitated after hitting the pole, I’m fairly certain laughing would have been a tad extreme.

28

Fuck that, if he rang me up, I’d run over, and kick him square in the balls. I might even be tempted to kick him while he is down as well.

29

You know what? Many of you need some smelling salts so you can wake up.

Blessedwolf is being honest and real, which is more than I can say for most people. As Dennis Miller said in his first book, schadenfreude is a common feeling. We all have some meanness in us, and often, it is justified.

What a lot of people do is cover it over with morality and then go so far as to claim that they don’t have such impulses. I’d rather someone be honest and vent than repress and be a passive-aggressive whiny bitch.

If you are truly saintly enough to not have a trace of schadenfreude in you… fine. I don’t believe you, but fine. But, don’t cast stones at another person for their honesty when they state what they’re thinking. If you don’t like it, move on to another thread.

People on here often pass judgment like a kidney stone, with a maximum of pain and a minimum of result.

30

Enderw23, hon, I think you are referring to andros’ example about the woman and the SUV.

SaxFace is the one with the little brother. Sax, my little bro is something of a problem child, and in junior high and high school a bunch of kids tormented him incessantly. One day during gym he was using the porta-potty and they rocked it back and forth with him inside until it fell over and he emerged covered in shit and vomit. While I don’t wish inoperable brain tumors on the bastards that did that to him, I would experience some farfignugen if I found out that their present lives were miserable and involved frequent torture at the hands of bullies. I absolutely understand your feelings.

It’s not a hanging offense to have bad, evil, small, petty thoughts about your fellow humans, especially when they’ve wronged you. Blessedwolf, I daresay you are being a bit crass in reveling in another’s brain tumor, and I can understand how cancer survivors and posters who have lost someone to brain tumors would take offense at your glee. And I certainly raise an eyebrow at your evident pride in being a heartless bastard and an asshole. And a wienerschnitzel, no doubt. Aim high!

For those of you offended, take a deep breath, and just try to remember, his weltenschauung isn’t directed at you.

31

Y’know what I have to say to that? Doppelganger! Ersatz! Kindergarten! Dusseldorf! Other German things!

I remember a time in college when I learned that some kid who had hassled me back in middle school was dead. I wrote a column in the college paper about my unholy glee.

We all have our hearts of darkness, don’t we?

32

A drive-by shooting happened to the kid who raped me. I can’t say I was happy about it, but it felt good.

33

Y’know, BW, I don’t hate you. I well understand the darker side of the human psyche. I know of one or two people whom I would be glad if they got an inoperable, painful malignant brain tumors. All that being said, I would keep my glee to myself. I agknowledge my baser emotions, I rarely revel in them, and certainly don’t parade them before starngers as a source of pride. What i got out of you post was this:

What the hell kind of pathetic, loser wuss are you? whine He was my roomie for 2 years, and he made me miserable. sob He was a jerk. Well, boo fucking hoo. Why didn’t you show the backbone God gave an over cooked spaghetti noodle and move the fuck out? It seems you were in an unplesant circumstance for two years, and did nothing to remove yourself from it, so all you can do is crow over someone’s misfortune afterwards. This is truly pathetic. Grow the fuck up and stop congradulating yourself for “agknowledgeing” all of your emotions. Next time do something about your circumstances. Take responsibility for your life rather than letting it happen and laughing at the rest of the world. I perdict a sad, lonely life for you, yet I don’t intend to crow over it. I just feel pity.

34

From the first post in this thread:

Pretty damn clear, if you ask me. Little shit told BW he had an inoperable brain tumor.

In a later post:

A brain tumor MEANS he has cancer. THEN the question arises whether it is malignant or not. But trust me pal: weird, rapidly expanding tissue in your brain is hardly to be considered fun by any standard. Even IF they can treat it with radiation and/or chemo, he still might suffer permanent damage to his brain tissue. In any case, he’s in for a VERY rough ride a normal person would not wish on ANYONE.

All this rephrasing sounds a little dumb to me. Don’t bother man, you’re a badass bastard. Don’t try and pull a FreakFreely on us. That would be SO uncool.

Regarding moral superiority:
Yes, we all have evil thoughts. No, that’s not something to condemn per se. It’s human nature. But if I compare myself to someone who publicly (and proudly!) announces that he is glad one of his adversaries might die a horrific death, I have only one thing to conclude.
FUCK YES, I AM MORALLY SUPERIOR TO THIS PERSON.

And proud of it, too.

35

You feel perfectly comfortable delighting in this guy probably facing death, almost certainly disability, because he’s the real world equivalent of Cliff Claven?

Dude, you are one self-involved sonofabitch with a really sad value system.

stoid
violating her “no-personal-attacks” rule because Blessed Wolf essentially invited it.

36

I don’t know how old you are or how much life experience you have, but let me clue you about something:

The guy you describe in the OP is not a BAD person. He is not an EVIL person. He is not a person who DESERVES TO SUFFER.

Why?

Because he ALREADY IS. the guy you describe is sounds to me like a pretty insecure unhappy person who doesn’t know what his place in this world is and is trying to find it. He is probably lonely, because it’s hard to imagine someone who acts that way being surrounded by great friends and a fulilling life. He sounds like a lost little boy who doesn’t know how to be in the world, so he puffs himself up and tries way too hard. My feeling is that in his heart, where you can’t look, he’s already hurting plenty.

The fact that you let him get to you, especially to this degree, says more about you than it does about him.

And you’ve been handed an opportunity here to learn something about yourself, to grow, and to become a better person. What are you going to do with it, I wonder?

stoid

37

Well, the whole concept varies from situation to situation. I think if someone had done something really horrific to me, like beatings, rape, emotional abuse, I would find a certain cold, dark pleasure in finding out they had an inoperable brain tumor.

In a less extreme situation, no, I wouldn’t enjoy knowing someone else was suffering. I have had people do some really crappy things to me in my lifetime, and while I might enjoy hearing that they lost their job, their husband or wife left them, or something like that, I would not take pleasure in their terminal illnesses or painful deaths. (in the car accident example, I would giggle to see the obnoxious driver wreck her car, but if I saw her bleeding from the head and slumped over the wheel…NO…I would not think it funny. I’d jump out and see if I could help).

So…I certainly have (and will again, I’m sure) experinced pleasure at other people’s misfortunes. But I have my limits. The OP’s example was a situation where I would NOT be happy, and yes, I was disturbed by the OP.

38

I’m behind blessedwolf all the way. Death comes for everyone. When it comes for someone we care about, it’s a sad thing. When it comes for those we hate, it’s a happy thing. Simple as that.

Maybe it’s because I’ve learned not to attach a special significance to death, being exposed to it a few times - when something is stolen from me, I feel bad that I lost it, I don’t feel bad about the fact that people steal. When something is stolen from someone I hate, especially if it feels ‘just’ that it happened, it helps to balance out the times theft has brought me grief. Same thing with death, it’s not a good or bad thing, it’s something that happens that makes big changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

39

Ender (an ironic name for the subject):

Uh-huh. Ohhh-kay. What makes you think Blessedwolf wants you to care, Ender? I don’t suppose you’d like to demonstrate where he’s posting from ignorance, wouldya? Oh, and if you want to call someone a troll, just fucking do it. Enough with the silly and rhetorical questions, m’kay?

All together now, kids: “No one forced you to read it.”

Stoid:

I’m sure he’ll answer that as soon as you explain what you’re getting out of your hatred and vitriol toward politicians with whose views you disagree. Better person now, are you?

Coldy, I love you like the cyber brother I never had. I want you to know that.

But if you have ever, ever, laughed at someone who didn’t deserve it, I reckon you might should rethink getting on a horse that high.

Honest questions:

I guess I’m just not sure where morals enter into it. I mean, are we going with the assumption that wishing someone ill is morally wrong? Or ridiculing another’s misfortunes? Or being happy that a person who has been continually and deliberately cruel, unthinking, and rude is now in pain and being forced to think about something beyond himself?

WHY is is morally wrong to wish someone dead?

WHY is it morally wrong to laugh at another’s pain or death?

40

Just because they can’t open his lttle dome to remove all those happily dividing cells doesn’t mean they don’t have options. My friend went under the gamma knife about 2 years ago and she is back to running 10 miles a day. At the time they said three to six months max.
The question is, why on earth would you spend two years of your life with someone you despise? A rightwing titty bar frequenting gun nut? You clearly need a therapist.