I’m afraid I can’t be of any help at all, since I’m childless, but I want to extent my sympathies and best wishes. Go Ghanima!
Take care of yourself!
Poor Ghanima. Been there, done that, wished I would have gotten a tee-shirt.
Not too much more to add to this thread–lots of good words already, and I’ll not go through writing down my experience, other than to say just remember that the number one goal is a HEALTHY BABY!
Good luck with your C-Section and don’t forget to come back and post pictures (of the baby, not the C-Section)!
That really sucks.
I had a C-section two months ago, and another four years ago. This one was scheduled, and it was a piece of cake compared to the one I had after 28 hours of Pitocin, including 4 hours of pushing.
Others have done a pretty good job of describing what the surgery is like. This is more or less what you’ll see once they get the baby out. (I have some more graphic photos, but they’re not online.)
You can still have a birth plan with a C-section. This is what mine said:
Much of this turned out to be routine at my hospital, but it’s not always.
Once it’s over, do try to get walking as soon as you can. The more you can move around, the better. But don’t stint the pain meds if you need them. Trying to tough it out will just make it all last even longer. (That said, I only took two of the Percocets, and one of those the nurse practically begged me to take. But I was religious about the acetaminophen and ibuprofen.)
Make sure that the incision can air-dry a bit after you shower. Those abdominal binder things can be helpful for keeping loose skin out of the way.
If getting in and out of bed is painful, make your husband get up and get the baby for you to nurse, and put him back when he’s done (or co-sleep). If he’s anything like mine, he will be desperate to figure out something useful he can do for you - take advantage of it while the feeling lasts.
As awful as you feel right now, you really will have forgotten all about it by this time next week. I know that’s hard to believe, but it really works that way.
And congratulations on your new baby!
My kids’ mother had all three by C-Section - one was emergency, the other two planned.
By far, the easier are the planned ones - she was up and at 'em much faster than the emergency one.
Lessee - things I remember.
As husband, I was allowed in, I got to sit on the other side of her head from the anesthesiologist (phew! had to use spell-check for that). “Sit on that stool, don’t touch nothin’, speak sweet things to her” was my job.
When the baby is born, it’s, well not violent but maybe vigorous. The try to keep the hole small to ease healing so they kind-of wiggle the baby out through something that seems too small. I couldn’t see well because the incision is below the “horizon” of the belly but you can see them working pretty hard at it.
When the baby comes out, and this was valuable advice I got from another father, it’ll be blue. It’ doesn’t get the hard squeeze like it gets from the birth canal. It’ll have more fluids in its throat & lungs. They’ll suction this up and when it starts to cry, it’ll pink up nicely. Just don’t panic with a blue-ish baby. Benefit - C-section babies have cuter birth pictures - no pointy heads - not so much mushed, Winston Churchill faces.
Healing wasn’t too bad from the observers POV. Some states, like Colorado, have law now on minimum hospital stays following a baby’s birth. C-Sections are different than vaginal birth. Don’t let them hustle you out too fast if the law requires the insurance to pay for the extra days. You just had major surgery - be sure to get your healing time. Check your laws.
Interesting side note: I got to see them sew the uterus back up. They partially removed it (remarkably small) from the abdominal cavity, stitched it, and put it back in. Between three C-sections, gall bladders, & a colonoscopy, I’ve seen more of the insides of that woman that any man should.
Thanks everybody for the kind words and information. Today wasn’t so bad - I caught up on some sleep this afternoon. I think it’s really helped that I don’t feel this tremendous pressure to “perform” anymore - I was having these horrid mood swings every day hoping to go into labor and so disappointed when I didn’t. Tomorrow (Wednesday) we have another doctor appointment and we’ll make the arrangements for Friday. My mom is coming to stay and help for 5 or 6 days. It sounds like there’s really nothing more to be done other than stock up on food my husband can cook and get all the baby stuff ready.
Some questions:
Will a nursing pillow (Boppy) be useful while I’m healing or will it just hurt to wear around my belly?
What about clothes to wear home? Is a dress or nightgown preferable to some loose pyjama pants?
What about wound care? Will I need anything in particular for cleaning or dressing the incision as it heals?
Again thanks to all - it’s nice to have some questions answered.
I can’t help with anything about the C-section, but I can sympathize with the lateness. All mine were, with the first being 12 days after he was due. I, too, heard all the suggestions about how to fix that, as well as waaaay toooo many repeats of, “Well, it takes an elephant two years.” Try to go with the flow. You won’t be really in charge of things for some time to come, with a baby in the house. Best of luck with both birth and baby.
The Boppy is helpful right from the beginning. A hospital bed is also great when you’re learning to breastfeed - it’s easier to get the positioning right without straining anything. At home, I have one of those “husband” pillows with arms at the head of the bed for leaning on while I nurse in the middle of the night.
A nightgown may be more comfortable for your scar, but is a pain to breastfeed in (unless it’s constructed for that purpose). The incision is quite low, so loose pajama pants shouldn’t bother it. A sleep bra is also helpful, especially when your milk comes in. You can keep nursing pads in it to deal with nighttime leakage, and it just corrals these huge things that have suddenly appeared on your chest (I’m a 38H now!). I got mine from birthandbaby.com (the store brand ones), and I really like them.
I was told to just leave the incision site alone, other than rinsing it with water in the shower. The doctor took the Steri Strips off at my 2 week postpartum checkup.
These are all very good questions to ask at your appointment on Wednesday.
Just to add that I never found the Boppy comfortable at all. You’ll have to see how you like it. In the hospital I mostly just nursed in bed–with the planned c-section I was comfortable enough that I just kept her in bed with me about 80% of the time anyway.
If you have bikini underwear you might want to buy some big granny panties that come to your waist so the elastic doesn’t hit right at the scar level, which is what I found for my horizontal scar.
(I have a vertical scar too from the next emergency smash and grab job. When I was bemoaning my inverted cross on my belly to a rather cool friend, she said “I don’t know why you’re complaining - next time you see a vampire you can just stand on your head.” But I digress!)
I found that one of those velcro and elastic belly band/back supporters was really nice in the first few days.I didn’t get one for the first time and one of the nurses suggested I give one a try, and strapped me into it. I could immediately stand upright without feeling like my guts were all going to spill out! It made turning over in bed easier too, and sort of held things together to rest the baby on when breastfeeding too.
I didn’t get a boppy but I did ask my husband to bring me two or three more ordinary pillows from home and they helped with packing up sore bits and supporting elbows etc while feeding.
The electric bed that went up and down at the touch of a button was SORELY missed the first time when I went back to MIL’s house for a few days and was faced with a futon on the floor! This will not be a problem for you!
The horizontal cut healed into a tiny thin white line that is nearly invisible, but for the first few days it HURT LIKE HELL to lie on my side and I’d jolt awake having rolled over in my sleep. I think it popped the edges of the cut open, like (). The second vertical cut is a big thick pencil like rubbery keloid and now I am fat I have another set of buttocks on my front, sigh. But I could roll over pain free from the very first evening!
Other things to bring - lots of changes of clothes, whatever you choose. I had button front nighties for the first couple of days because the nurses constantly want to get at your nether regions. Then I just moved to T-shirts and very baggy elastic waisted cotton pants. You sweat like a pig - all that water swelling decides to come out all at once! So a couple of changes a day are a nice luxury.
I haven’t had a C-section, but I still second the high-waisted granny panties! A friend just had her second child (a little girl) a couple of days ago by planned C-section (she has narrow hips and a tendency for big babies), and although she wore hipster knickers throughout her pregnancy, she swears the granny panties are the way to go. She is also using a boppy pillow for feeding.
As for clothes to wear home, loose pyjama pants or stretchy yoga pants are nice and comfortable. Don’t be in a hurry to race home - if you are getting good support from the nursing staff, make the most of it.
For the next couple of days, just try to relax and focus on yourself. You will be just fine and you will be an excellent mother!
Just make sure you sneak in your own pain relief in case the midwife bitches don’t give you enough. Iboprufen is good - here they come in suppository form which has the added bonus of being in the right general direction of the pain.
A> If she’s having a scheduled c-section, she’s way past the “midwife bitches” ( :rolleyes: ) and dealing with real live doctors with letters after their name and everything and
B> Don’t sneak medicine past your healthcare providers. Just don’t. I’m not one to kiss the arse of a doctor, and I’ll take whatever I damn well feel like, but they’re going to be informed of it so I don’t get a case of the Dead because the right hand didn’t know what the left one was doing.
I was in the exact same position as you just two months ago. My son was big, perfectly healthy, but he just wouldn’t come out; we were in week 43 he still wasn’t getting out.
They tried to induce labor in me as well, but it didn’t work. nothing. Apparently, hormonally inducing has a success rate of just 50 %.
Unlike you, I didn’t mind the extra two weeks, even although I was ridiculously swollen. I figured, “Hey, he is getting the best possible care in there. I get the best results if people don’t rush me; I’ll also let my son have the timeto get the last finishing touches my body can give him.”.
Besides, those extra two weeks will make him extra robust when he comes out. You’ll have a sturdy baby !
And I also didn’t mind to have just a little bit more time before Life As I Knew It would supposedly change. (As it turned out, it didn’t change that much. I’m still me, me and my husband now just have a very sweet, but rather helpless little person living with us now)
My planned C-section was a breeze, including the epidural. I guess the horrible stories about C-sections are about the rushed ones. It must be horrible to have had all those hours of labor, the pain, the exhaustion, only to be rushed off to a hasty surgery, for which you don’t have the mental energy to brace yourself. But my planned C-section? Everybody calm, no rushing, I was mentally prepared…I almost felt guilty for having a kid and not have the biblical suffering that is supposed to go with it 
.
I stayed at the hospital for four days in total. The recovery was painful, but perfectly doable. I was on morphine for the first 30 hours, and after that I went by on paracetamol! My incision hasn’t given me much pain at all.
What was unexpectedly painfull, however, were the gas cramps. I still don’t know what caused them, and not every woman has them, but they were bad. Second most painful were the pooping and peeing for the first time again. God, to be so grateful for something as simple as being able to pee again! The whole thing is very “back to basic” :). And the experience has given me more empathy for my baby. When the little guy cries because of his gas cramps, or when he can’t turn over in his bed without any help, or when he gets that happy inward smile as he is wetting his diaper, I know *exactly *how he feels .
However, my recovery went fast, and by the time I got home I could already walk up and down the stairs.
If you like, you can watch some of the pictures we made during our stay at the hospital and the C-section. There is a bit of blood, but I think the pictures are more like Rembrandt paintings then gory…
Some tips:
-yes, use a boppy pillow. it is very soft, so it won’t hurt your scar, and it is guranteed to be helpful in some way.
-as you are losing all the fluid that makes you so swollen right now, you are going to have major bouts of SWEATING. Also, your temperature regulation may go wonky at times. During my second night in the hospital, I woke up as wet as when someone had emptied a bucket of ice water over me, teeth chattering, in total panic. The unhelpful night nurse just told me to snap out of it. :rolleyes:
-if you feel really lonely, you can ask your husband to stay. Maybe the nurses will allow an extra bed near yours.
-ask someone in the operating room to make pictures on the other side of the surgical drape. I have pictures of the doctors cutting, and pulling out my son and they are amazing.
-if you don’t already have one, invest in a camera that can make small movies as well as pictures.
I third the idea of having an Myspace page where you post updates on how you are. It saves a ton of phonecalls when you are not in the mood to take them, and that make you only feel more frustrated. We had a blog that allowed us to sms news tothat automatically added the sms to our site.
Good luck
I delivered all three of my children (now ages 8, 17 and 21) by C-section. The first two were emergency, the third planned. Planned is better.
I’ll second (third) the benefits of a binder. I didn’t have one with my first birth, and when I stood up the first time, I truly felt like my intestines were going to fall out. Most unpleasant. Had one with the second and third, and it made all the difference.
You’ve gotten lots of good sound C-section advice, so now I’ll give you some general abdominal surgery advice (I’ve had six major abdominal surgeries, so I know whereof I speak).
Take a small pillow (like a throw pillow) to the hospital with you and keep it with you at all times. Hold it against the incision, firmly, whenever you have to laugh/sneeze/cough. It helps. A lot.
You never realize how much you use your abdominal muscles for until they’ve been messed with. Take it easy!
If walking up stairs hurts too much, try walking up backwards (though not while carrying the baby, please! Lol). Less abs used.
A hard-backed kitchen or dining room chair, placed with it’s back to your bed near the head of the bed can serve as the railing does on the hospital bed, in assisting you with getting out of bed more easily.
Now some general new-motherhood advice:
Please, please, please (this cannot be stressed enough) sleep when the baby sleeps! Just before I delivered my first child, my sister gave me a copy of Stephen King’s It to read while I recovered. Silly me, I read while the baby slept. Made my post-partum depression worse that I was exhausted.
If you are breast-feeding, keep some healthy snacks by your breast-feeding chair. Kashi or Clif Bars and juice boxes are good. You may very well be hungry a lot. Remember, if you are breast-feeding, your baby may be out, but you are still eating for two!
I know that what you’re going through is frustrating, but remember, the point of all this isn’t to have a wonderful “birthing experience”, it’s to come out of it with a healthy baby and mommy!
Best of luck, and keep us posted when you can.
I wore something soft home from the hospital, IIRC - probably something like a sweatsuit. I think you’ll probably feel better being “dressed”, rather than wearing a nightgown/pajama pants, but YMMV. I never bothered with a Boppy for nursing - found it more of a hassle than anything with Dweezil, and with Moon Unit I had so many other things to worry about (she was a month old before she figured out the whole breastfeeding thing), I didn’t bother.
Wound care: Mainly you want to make sure you keep the incision dry. IIRC, I had some sort of dressing over it while in the hospital, but not when I went home. If you’re lucky, you’ll get your staples removed before you leave the hospital - I did (I stayed all 4 days I was allowed, even though I could probably have gone home a day earlier comfort-wise, but the baby was staying in thie hospital). If the staples are gone, you can point a hair dryer at the spot to make sure it’s dry, after you shower, as it’ll be right along the groove between the overhanging belly and your pubic area. Otherwise it may collect moisture and get irritated. Well, if the staples are in, you can do that, I just have a vague memory of hearing that might not be a good idea because, well, metal conducts heat :O. Anyway, I did nothing else special - just soap and water when I showered.
Oh, I forgot about the importance of big cotton granny panties. Those are important. One side benefit is that you can bleed on them without remorse.
Yes, but use one you can nurse in - if you have to dress and undress again eight times a day, in the end you just don’t bother anymore and walk around in nothing but your (stained) granny panties and a (stained) nursing bra.
Look on the internet for some nursing pyama’s, like these or these . Those allow you at least to walk around the house dressed like a human being for those first days and weeks. Besides wearing something cottony is better when you are sweating so much, especially in hot weather. It is easy to get all sweaty and chafey-y.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that fun! Things in the poop department had been a bit slow even before the delivery - then after the delivery of course I wasn’t eating for the first nearly-24 hours, so the gut had no stimulus. I think at 48 hours post-partum I insisted they give me a suppository, as things weren’t happening on their own. That first, er, offloading, wasn’t fun - sore tummy + poo that had all the moisture sucked out of it while it was lurking… well, ever heard the expression “shit a brick”? After that first one, no problem! (and again, FAR easier than my son’s delivery, where I’d had major trauma to the area in addition to the system-gone-haywire slowdown, and breastfeeding-sucking-all-the-fluids-out-of-the-body slowdown… well, pooping was NOT fun for weeks). DO take whatever stool softeners they offer (Colace is the usual, I think), and consume lots of high-fiber foods / fiber supplements.
With both deliveries, the first pee effort was a complete non-event - as in, walk into bathroom, sit down, and drum fingers in boredom on the grab-rail as nothing happens. In both cases, I’d been catheterized and it takes a bit for things to get going again. The second potty attempt worked, so it wasn’t a big deal.
I did not have the gas pains Maastricht describes, fortunately.
Unrelated to excretions: DO consider disconnecting your room phone postpartum, and turn off the cell phone. You will be inundated with phone calls and you will want to rest. We started asking people not to call back (I still want to smack my sister-in-law, who threw a tantrum and accused me of trying to cut my husband off the family, when he, at my request, asked her not to phone again - you see, her desire to chat and exclaim over the Glorious News was much more important than our concerns over having both the baby and me in the ICU…). Another intrusive caller was a co-worker who asked if I was up for visitors. A fellow I didn’t really know all that well… and who - after being found hemorrhaging at work and nearly bleeding to death, specifically asked people not to bother him at this hospital… Usually these people phoned as I was in the bathroom (wait, there’s the pee/poop/phone connection!).
Didn’t they give you a laxative at the hospital, or prescribe one? I took a teeny amount of what they wanted me too–I’ve never had constipation problems–and, uh, wow. Those things work. But the nurses told me again and again that constipation is very common and it’s not good for your incision to have that problem, so they wanted me to take a pre-emptive dose.