Scheduled C-section – in need of advice and support (long and TMI)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve not been around the boards lately. I have been anxiously anticipating the birth of my son. My due date was July 17th. I am now 11 days overdue and the doctor says she doesn’t believe that I will go into labor before Friday.

Last Monday I was freaking out for various reasons so we tried to induce labor. I spent three nights and three days in the hospital, hooked up to an IV and a monitoring machine. I now know how my dog feels when I tie her up. It was not a good experience – it took three tries just to get an IV in, my wrists are still bruised and the tape they use irritates my skin and actually took off a layer of skin here and there. Plus they had to replace the IV after two days because it was starting to swell and hurt. Because of the constant influx of fluids I blew up like a balloon – I would beg them to turn the drip down as low as possible. My ankles and fingers were like stuffed sausages. Each night they would put in Cervadil to help ripen my cervix and each day I would get increasing amounts of Pitocin administered through the IV for approximately 9 hours. Putting in the Cervadil hurt like HELL and the Pitocin caused some contractions but nothing major. I couldn’t poop – they finally had to give me a suppository on the last night. On the afternoon of the second day my Pitocin ran out and no one came to help for over 30 minutes – I cried hysterically. A “helpful” nurse then gave me a lecture about postpartum depression. I never got more than about 70% effaced. I got to have one meal a day – dinner. My husband was a rock but I know it wasn’t a great experience for him either. By the last day I just wanted to go home, with or without a baby.

I had another check-up appointment today and my cervix is back to the way it was before: “unfavorable” according to the doctor. We could try induction again starting Thursday, but because of the previous experience, and because the baby is now so big I may not even be able to deliver him vaginally even if I have an effective labor, I am not inclined to do it again. So it looks like I am going to have a scheduled C-Section on Friday. The baby himself is as fine as could be – all tests show that he is healthy and happy and normal and active and getting bigger all the time.

I, however, am a mess. I thought I would have a baby by now. Every day I look at the empty baby swing, the empty co-sleeper, and the unused baby bottles and can’t help but feel so impatient and even angry and of course guilty about feeling that way. My boobs leak like CRAZY so I am forced to wear a bra with pads all day and night. I can barely get around. I have carpal tunnel in my right wrist and my hands are so swollen in the mornings it takes about an hour to gain most of the function in my hands every day. Family and friends call constantly to find out what’s going on. I have heard every joke and every consolation and every suggestion to get labor started known to man (pineapple, watermelon, castor oil, sex, orgasm, primrose oil, walking, swimming, spicy food, etc.) I am resolved to spend the next four days in hiding and letting voicemail answer the phone. I have good days and bad days. Today is a bad day - I’ve been crying a lot. Also, it is my one year wedding anniversary and it’s not exactly how I pictured it would be.

So that’s my story so far. I can’t believe I won’t have a baby until August. I am very much unprepared for what to expect with a C-section. I would appreciate any advice anyone might have regarding what to expect with the surgery, and in light of the surgery what else I might need for the hospital or for when I get home. Also any suggestions for my poor husband who will now be not only taking care of his new infant but also his recuperating wife would be appreciated. Thanks dopers and please, wish us all luck.

2

I’m sorry things suck right now.

I’ve never had children so I can’t help there, but I just wanted to say best wishes for a continued healthy, happy baby and a quick recovery for you.

3

I have no advice to offer, only hugs and wishes of luck. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, and you are moving steadily towards it. You will be okay! And there’s a whole message board out here in the interwebs cheering for you!

4

Sending supporting thoughts your way! May you and the baby come through this and enjoy a lifetime of health and joy!

5

best of luck! i hope all goes well.

the one thing i don’t think they tell you about, is the amazing fountain thing that happens, if your water doesn’t break. it will fountain when they go in for the little (or big in this case) guy.

6

Oh sweetie, that sucks beyond belief!

I have a question - how sure are y’all of the dates? Because more than one doctor has induced/c-sectioned a baby only to find they were wrong about Date of Conception. And the fact that the baby is fine makes me wonder doubly.

Also, have they explained, if the baby is healthy and passing tests, why the rush to get him out?

OK, now advice:

If you are planning to breastfeed, get in touch with a La Leche League leader right now and get some information and support in place. Baby will probably be sleepier than a natural birth baby, and may have some feeding problems (or not, lots are fine!); you will probably be in pain from the incision, and it makes feeding positioning challenging. The best thing you can do is get prepared and make a connection with a knowledgeable person before surgery. Don’t rely on hospital lactation consultants - they are notoriously spotty in attendance and knowledge.

OK, I also absolutely URGE you to hire a postpartum doula. This is a woman knowledgeable about birth, babies, and nursing. She will come to your house and take care of you, and help take care of your baby. Everything from cooking and cleaning to helping you with personal care and caring for the baby. It will take so much pressure off you and your husband. See here for more info.

Try to relax a little, and take care of yourself. Your baby will be here before you know it!

7

I have had a scheduled C-section for an over-big, badly postitioned baby. It was very frightening when I heard the words and the wait was horrible but the reality was MUCH less horrible than I had imagined.

I think the not eating bit was the most troublesome because of course it’s the two of you not eating, and I’d been told nothing after midnight with a 2pm start time! Yuck!

They gave me an enema (but not the next time) which wasn’t too bad, then my husband and I waited and waited and waited. Then MIL turned up and sat next to the bed, STARING at me, and saying every five minutes, “You’re going to be in such PAIN” and in case I didn’t get it (she’s Japanese) clutching her stomach and groaning. She did this for the twentieth time just as a nurse came in. The nurse immediately said that I had to go to a labour room, and hustled me off. She got up to follow and the nurse said “No, sorry, only husbands!” and took our stuff and us off. When we got to the labour room, she said “I thought this would be better for you.” SAINT. You won’t have this complication because you don’t have a mad, ignorant Japanese MIL.

They called me into the operating room which was banned to husbands being Japan, you’ll get yours to support you, though I think during your prep time he’s off getting cleaned up and stuck in a gown.
They had me lie on the narrow bed and did the epidural. The only bad thing was that my stomach fell off the side of the bed and pulled my back - ouch! Once we’d adjusted my position it was fine and they kept saying “Be very still, be VERY still” and I lay there thinking This is going to HURT when they said,“OK, it’s in”. What a surprise! I have had two epidurals now and both times it went in with only as much pain as a regular injection, if that.

The feeling of the stuff flowing into me and numbing me up made me feel extremely sweaty and a bit panicky (maybe it went in a bit fast because the second time didn’t feel bad or maybe it was because I knew the feeling.) It all got a bit busy then - I’d lost possesion of my legs but I could see the nurses picking them up and moving them to insert the catheter (WIERD, seeing your own legs move!) then tidying them back up, putting blankets on me, putting the blood pressure cuffs on and putting my arms out on boards (I think - they were off to the sides anyway.)

Then they asked me if I could feel this - no, this? no. Couldn’t feel any of the poking they were doing, so they began. It is odd because you CAN feel pressure. Also there is an odd sound when the skin etc is cut. When they cut the uterus they sucked out the amniotic fluid and that was noisy. You will have your husband there by that point and if the drs don’t explain what they are doing, then he will. Also a bit of chat at this point takes your mind off things.

When they said, he was about to be born, I was very surprised that one dr got his hand and shoved down on my stomach while the other pulled the baby out. It was most disconcerting, I lost all my breath and it felt like his hand had gone all the way into my backbone! But just as I was objecting, the other Dr said “Oh, red hair!” and held up my beautiful baby!

Actually that was another shock. He was THE most far from beautiful thing I have ever seen. The Dr had him under his armpits and had raised him over the screen to show me. I got a bird eye view of a totally scrunched up boxer’s face, deep, dusky violet as he hadn’t breathed yet, and THE MOST ENORRRRMOUS set of balls I have ever seen!

They whisked him away for just a few moments to towel him off and check him over, and the nurse was saying the whole time what they were doing and how lovely and healthy he was. Then they brought him to me and held him against my cheek (my arms were still tethered) My overwhelming memory was how HOT he was and how velvety and hairy he was too. I asked them to take him to my husband after a few minutes (you won’t have that problem, lucky woman) which they did, and then they started putting me back together which was really long and really boring.

I actually fell asleep a bit during this process, it was just such a relief for him to be out and the fear to be over. I woke up when they were stapling me up. (Another odd noise) Then they wheeled me out, stuck baby into bed with me and wheeled us back to my room where we were helped to do the first breast feed (he latched on like a champ) and then left alone for a good few hours. The nurses came in and out every fifteen minutes or so but just did their checks and quietly left.

One more thing that really shocked me which won’t shock you if this isn’t your first baby - the first time the nurse changed my pad while I was still frozen and had to lie flat on my back, she said “Oh great, you are not bleeding that much, just right - things look good” and she held it up for me to see. Like ten square inches of soaked pad - EEEEK! All I could think was thank goodness I was frozen and she’d done the first one as if I’d done it myself I might have keeled over from the shock!!!

As for recovery, the first day I had a bit of a headache so they took my pillow away and warned me to keep my head as still as possible, for a few hours and it helped. I had horrible horrible shoulder pain inside which apparently is because air got into the abdominal cavity during surgery. Ouch. That was relentless. They also threatened to put me on pitocin to shrink my uterus but my boy was a good sucker and every time he sucked, hoooo boy that hurt. But they were really good about pain meds and of course I had this baby to stare at and croon over, and take photos of, so it wasn’t like I was undistracted.

The first day was very painful after the epidural wore off. The next day was quite painful. The third day was only slightly painful and I only needed over the counter stuff to deal with it. I was very very tired and couldn’t pick up the baby though.

I remember on about day two, he began crying in his little hospital bassinet at the end of my bed. I got up and crawled my way down to him, and pulled myself up on the cot, holding on with both hands. I was so shaky I didn’t dare let go, and I remember staring down into his red, screaming face, and thinking “Now what do I do? I need two more hands” Luckily just at that moment a nurse was passing and she offered to pick him up for me. After that I didn’t put him back in the cot but kept him in bed with me which was far simpler!

Good luck! It is scary but it is mostly the waiting and the unknown. The reality is mostly not as bad as you think it will be and you get a great prize at the end. Let us know how it goes and of course pictures of the new babe are mandatory!

8

First, I wish you much luck, a safe delivery and a speedy recovery.

I’ve had two c-sections and while they aren’t a picnic at the beach, pretty clearly the first wasn’t so awful as to put me off having a second child!

My best advice to you regarding your surgery is that you let your husband and anyone else who wants to help take care of all the household chores–cleaning, tidying up, laundry, cooking etc. YOU focus on yourself and on the baby and actually in that order.

Remember you’ll have had both major surgery as well as having given birth. So be kind to your body, rest or take naps at every opportunity, drink a LOT of fluids and be sure to eat a lot of fiber.

Please do listen and follow your doctor’s instructions regarding what you can and cannot do after surgery. My restrictions were to limit trips up and down the stairs, and to not carry anything heavier than my baby. I was also not to do any vacuuming, and IIRC driving was off limits for a couple of weeks. I didn’t listen, being young and not so smart, which is why I developed adhesions (scar tissue). They aren’t the end of the world either but they can be pretty uncomfortable.

I used a small pillow (not even a foot square) as both a splint pillow when I slept (side sleeper here) to sort of moosh up against my belly, and also I’d put it in my lap when I was nursing so the baby was actually lying on the pillow and not my incision.

Oh-- and stand up straight when you start walking. You may feel like your belly is going to fall out (it won’t) but after having had seven major surgeries, I’ve recovered the fastest when I’ve gotten up and walked as soon as allowed AND stood up straight while doing so. Maybe some medical type can speak to that or tell me it was all in my head–just know it really helped me a lot.

9

Darling, a section will be better if you’re swollen to hell and miserable and dripping and everything. I had an unscheduled c-section in January after my waters broke. I was a week and a half late, we induced (but not as much as you! You’re amazing!) for twelve hours, and nothing happened except me wanting to break anyone’s fingers who tried to give me another internal exam.

I’d really really wanted a natural, unmedicated birth, (midwife and everything) but my blasted kid wouldn’t come out. So we made him. And he’s fine, breastfeeding is fine, he’s lovely.

Well, he sleeps terribly, but that’s not the fault of the section.

Hugs.

And either get a doula or have your friendsand family organize continuous support.

10

And where are the baby pictures?!
<tapping foot>
There have to be baby pictures.

11

Well, as that was 12 years ago I didn’t think it was relevant. Still, seeing as you asked and seeing as I am still a sucker for my babies even though they are now big and ugl, have a look here!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/75073195@N00/sets/72157606426325020/

Two baby pictures then a couple of pictures taken a couple of days ago at the town summer festival - both boys rode on my husband’s team float and drummmed and yelled with the best of them!

12

Oh, sweetie! How frustrating and scary! I wish I could give you real-life hugs and foot rubs.

I don’t have anything useful to say about the c-section, but I give you full permission to stay home and not answer the phone until Friday (as long as you change your outgoing message so your family and friends don’t think you’re at the hospital, in labor).

If you and your hubby can, now would be an excellent time to cook and freeze some meals for later. Even if you don’t do meals, I highly recommend making and freezing some pumpkin bread or muffins or something that you will be able to eat a) at room temp and b) with one hand. I have a couple of recipes if you need them. I ate tons of pumpkin bread during the first month of my son’s life, because I was hungry all the time, even in the middle of the night. And it was really, really convenient, and it didn’t feel like it was completely unhealthy.

Once your son arrives, please let your family and friends do everything that needs doing around the house, so that all you have to do is sleep and feed the baby. If you don’t have a large support system where you are, then I second (third?) the advice to hire a postpartum doula, if only for a few hours a day.

Your little guy will be here so, so soon! And August is a great month to have a baby – mine was born last August, so I know. :wink:

Let us know if there is anything we can really do for you from a distance. Hang in there!

13

Nothing much to add, Ghanima, other than hugs and good wishes. Hokaido Brit gave an excellent description, including the weirdness of the epidural (spinal, in my case).

They’ll probably want to get you on your feet as soon as possible. The first time standing SUCKS, but it gets easier every time and you’ll feel much better when you can move around. And you’ll feel a thousand times better when the staples are out.

I second Contrary’s advice about not doing too much and standing up straight. I used one of those big elastic belly bands for a few weeks, and it was very helpful when turning over in bed.

No baby pictures here. He’s 13!

14

I’ve had a c-section after labor and a planned c-section, and I’ll take the planned one any day. I walked in and about 45 minutes later I had a baby! Hokkaido Brit has described it all quite well, though I didn’t feel that my backbone was being grabbed, it wasn’t all that uncomfortable really (for major surgery, that is). My babies were very large–the first was over 10 lbs!

Meanwhile, you have all my sympathy! Being hugely pregnant at the end of July is no joke, I’ve done it and I know. Of course you’re completely freaked out! But it will all be OK once this is over. (But why won’t they take you sooner?)

15

YUCK on the 3 days/nights in the hospital being induced. I bet they didn’t let you eat, either! I was induced with my son, and that was dreadful enough even lasting “only” 15 hours.

Scheduled c-section is the best kind, IMO. Mine was nearly that - I was already in the hospital being watched for pre-eclampsia and they decided I was going down the HELLP path, so they needed to deliver the baby; as she was breech, C-section it was. Since it was urgent, but not “get her out now or she DIES” urgent, they could take their time and go carefully; as a result, the recovery was FAR easier than after my son’s birth (15 hour induced labor, forceps, tore badly, could not sit up for 2 weeks).

What will be the worst part? They’ll probably schedule you for oh-dark-thirty so you’ll have to roll out of bed at 2 hours before oh-dark-thirty.

The catheter wasn’t a treat either, felt weird and a bit painful going in. The epidural was, well, weird - I could feel sensation inside my back as it went in. Not painful, just weird. Again, FAR better than when my son was born - that jackass anesthesiologist botched it, and it hurt, and I jumped and screamed, and the nurse yelled at me (egad, I really wish I’d simply bitten her shoulder when I had the chance).

Oh, and in my case the epidural didn’t work quite as well as I’d hoped - I didn’t feel any cutting, but my bladder wasn’t numbed and they a) push it out of the way when working with the uterus, and b) it gets jostled a lot when they’re shoving things around to get the actual baby out. That hurt - but not as much as unmedicated labor and it was over a hell of a lot faster (maybe 5 minutes) so, frankly, it was LOTS better than my son’s delivery.

I did feel the pressure of the incision. I remember saying “oh cool!” - it honestly felt like someone was drawing a line on my stomach with a pen. They do quite a lot of shoving around when getting the baby out (as Hokkaido Brit said) which was startling, though I’d heard of it so wasn’t completely surprised. That was painful because of my bladder situation, but just for a couple of minutes; the minute the baby was out, there was no more pain.

They also gave me a dose of some mild sedative / tranquilizer after the baby was out, which helped with my stress level (my BP was high, and my stress level was pushing it higher - I seem to recall 170/120 or something). By the time the surgery was over, my BP was actually going very low - due to the epidural I think - and they actually gave me epinephrine or something to notch it up a bit.

They will give you a dose of morphine or something in the epidural after the surgery, that will give you very good pain relief for 24 hours (I’ve heard that some hospitals actually leave a painkiller pump attached to the epi for a day or so; mine did not do that so I can’t comment). This meant that I was actually pretty comfortable, though I was itchy (common side effect). I wasn’t moving around much though, as I was still in the ICU myself (pesky life-threatening complications).

But all in all I felt rather decent and feisty enough to make them wake the doctor up at home at 3 AM to get her to confirm her verbal orders (I had not seen the baby yet; she had said as I was doing so well with the blood pressure that they could spring me from ICU after only 12 hours, rather than the usual 24… but she didn’t write that down and the night nurse didn’t believe me).

I was supposed to be on magnesium sulfate (standard post-delivery med when you’ve had HELLP) and pitocin IV for something like 24 hours after delivery; unfortunately my IV clotted up when they took me down to my room (about 18 hours after delivery); fortunately they decided not to bother redoing the IV at that point. Aside from that and the misunderstanding about springing me from the ICU early, the only bad thing I had happen was on my last day, they wanted to draw blood - and the lab tech who came to do it was incompetent and failed to get blood from two different places. I screamed at him and threw him out of my room :D. They sent someone competent later on and got the needed blood on the first try.

Afterward - once you get home - you will want to minimize any heavy lifting, excess up and down stairs, etc. I remember thinking I’d miss the hospital bed, with its nice rails that I could grab onto when I wanted to sit up, but by the time I got home after 4 days it wasn’t so bad. I was helped to mobility by the fact that my daughter was in the NICU on another floor, so I had to walk up there a few times a day (or wait until someone had time to take me in a wheelchair).

Also, afterward you’ll find that you’ll feel pretty energetic at times but will crash fast. When my daughter was a week or so old and still in NICU, we needed to empty off some shelves in our living room as painters were coming the next day (we wanted it done before the baby came home), and I was participating with this until my body basically told me “OK, you’re done, right about… NOW!”.

Unauthorized Cinnamon, assuming they do have a good idea of the dates, they do want to avoid letting the baby go too far post-dates as there are increasing risks of various complications. Even if the baby’s doing OK now, the longer you wait the greater the chance of the post-dates complications Your point on taking action due to misunderstood dates is a good one though!

16

Best wishes to you and your husband both, Ghanima, and here’s to Friday when you’ll have your discomfort behind you and a son in front.

17

Oh - and I forgot to mention the post-surgery pain in general: As I said, I had good pain relief the first 24 hours because of the morphine in the epidural; I did take one oral narcotic painkiller (Percocet or something similar). After that, I was fine with just prescription-strength NSAIDs. By the time I got home, I may have been on OTC-level doses of ibuprofen, or I may have been on prescription-level, but the pain was very well-controlled on whatever I had. The second 24 hours (after delivery) was probably the worst, but really pretty tolderable. IIRC, I was walking up to the NICU before 48 hours (well, I rode the elevator, but had to walk to the elevator).

I do firmly believe the manageable pain was because they had time to proceed carefully and not do any unnecessary damage, vs. a slash-and-grab section or even a bad vaginal delivery (I was still on Tylenol 3 when my son was 5 days old).

18

The thing that most surprised me about the spinal was the cold. It comes in a wave, from, IIRC, the toes to the midsection*, just bone-chilling coldness, then tingling, before anything went numb.

One bit of advice - find some way to communicate with your friends and family which doesn’t include actually talking to them. Set up a simple website or leave an outgoing message on your voicemail with updates and reassurances that you love everyone, but in the best interest of you and your baby, you won’t be taking any but emergency calls for a couple of weeks.

Yes, weeks. Don’t let people bully or guilt you into allowing visitors until YOU’RE going out of your mind with boredom and want someone to talk to. All they’ll do, well-meaning though they may be, is drain the energy that should be going to your milk, your healing, and your baby. When you are ready for visitors, don’t be afraid to ask them to throw a load of burp cloths in the washer for you or to wash a few dishes - don’t think of it as asking for help, think of it as including them in the new baby fuss. People love to help, it makes them feel important, so let them!

As for pain management, I lost my Vicodin 'scrip on my way home from the hospital and never bothered to get another one. (Honestly, I was afraid of being branded a narcotics-seeker.) I just kept taking the (rather large) doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol that I had been taking along with narcotics at the hospital, and they kept the pain at the same level without making me constipated or loopy or worry about narcotics in my milk. It wasn’t pain-free by any means, but it wasn’t as bad as a sprained ankle, either.

I absolutely endorse getting a post-partum doula, if you can swing it financially. If not, just remember that laundry can wait, food can be ordered and husbands can indeed run a vacuum once in a while. :stuck_out_tongue:

*Or maybe it was the other way 'round. Whichever way it went, the numbness wave went in exactly the same path, and then the wearing-off went exactly the same way.

19

From the husband’s point of view:

My wife had a C-section last March. She’d been in labor for 8 hours before they discovered the baby was breach…
The surgery was quick. The asked if I wanted to come in and sit by her and I said yes. They asked if I wanted to watch and I said no. But I sat at her head. The put up a surgical drape so we couldn’t see. I looked into her eyes and reassured her that all would be well. And it was. No more than 15 minutes into the procedure we they had delivered her. Within 5 minutes of that they’d cleaned her off cleared her nose and mouth and we heard her first cry.

We were in the hospital for 2 nights and left as soon as we could convince them to let my wife go. Maternity wards can be loud, cramped and lacking in privacy. She felt she could recover better at home. Recovery for my wife was slow but steady. Each day she could do more. But the first week she was mostly immobile.

I took two weeks off work. If you don’t have live in family help or hired help he really does need to take time off. My job was to take care of the house and Mrs. J. She took care of the baby. (OK I changed diapers too). Frankly your husband has the easy part. Cook, clean and support. Speaking of cooking, if you can get several meals in the freezer now that will make your life so much easier after you get back home.

20

Nothing to add, since both my kids were vaginal deliveries, but I just want to let you know that C-sections are routine, and you will have your baby. He’ll just be an August baby instead of a July baby. So try not to let the delay get you down.