50 Cent in “Many Men”:
The feds didn’t know much, when Pac got shot
I got a kite from the pens that told me, Tuck got knocked
Yeah right, get your facts straight 50.
Blondie- “Heart of Glass”
It’s highly unlikely that Debbie Harry has a heart made out of glass.
The Beatles- “I Am the Walrus” and “Glass Onion”
John was incorrect in his assertion that he’s an eggman. He’s not a walrus either. And he’s certainly not both at the same time. He was also mistaken in saying that Paul is a walrus. They are both humans.
Similarly, Tom Waits was incorrect when he said “I am a raindog too.”
I’m Walking on Sunshine. Nope. Can’t be done.
The “Goo goo ga joob” part is accurate, though.
Black hole sun
Won’t you come
And wash away the rain
(from “Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden)
Our sun cannot become a black hole (cite), and ifa black hole were to come to us from elsewhere, rain would be the least of our worries.
Horrifying, according to Wikipedia, the song has recently been covered by Paul Anka.
Not to mention the fact that Black Widows don’t sting, they bite.
Also consider that Aldebaran is only about 52 lightyears away, much less than 2000.
More evidence that rock bands should be compelled to hire astronomers as lyrical consultants lies in Europe’s The Final Countdown:
We’re heading for Venus
{Oh, good}
And still we stand tall
{Any spacecraft making the trip to Venus is likely to be cramped and have insufficient headroom for “standing tall”, but I’ll let that slide. Maybe it’s a metaphor.}
Cause maybe they’ve seen us
{Who have seen you? The Venusians? This begs the question of whether there actually are any Venusians, which seems unlikely given the planet’s high temperature and corrosive atmosphere. Should they exist, however, Venus’ dense clouds would likely preclude them establishing visual contact. Assuming they have eyes.}
And welcome us all
{Given all the maybes that sprung from the previous line, I’m dubious. Do these putative Venusians even speak English - or Swedish?}
With so many light years to go
{Oh-kay. They get points for not using light years as a measure of distance rather than time, but Venus is not many light years from Earth. It’s quite close, actually.}
And things to be found
{Difficult to take issue with this, since “things” is such a nebulous category as to be entirely useless: what kind of things? Lemurs? Toaster Ovens? Killer robots? Small rocks?}
I’m sure that we’ll all miss her so
{Oh, I’m sure that leather-clad pretty boys like you will be able to find…alternative means of companionship on this long voyage. Just don’t squabble over whose turn it is to wash their hair.}
Especially seeing as Alley Oop is a comic strip character, and it would be somewhat impossible for a stationary drawing of a caveman to ride on the back of a real dinosaur.
Also, no medical journal has ever recorded a case of somebody laughing so much, their sides split and/or heart went pitter-pat while watching a Felix the Cat cartoon; and according to television historians, The Muppet Show was neither the most sensational, inspirational, or celebrational show on televison. However, it was the most muppetational, so they were correct on that part.
I was going to suggest that perhaps they were riding aboard the underground rail car discovered by Kiedis, Balzary et al. but I recently found out that their work has since been discredited – there is no Subway to Venus.
AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”
I doubt seriously anyone would try to build a highway to a place that doesn’t exist. Even if it did and they did try, wouldn’t the asphalt melt when it got close to hell?
Similarly, was there ever a serious attempt to build a stairway to Heaven?
If not, the lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold is sure getting scammed: “Psst! Hey, lady. Yeah, you. Wanna buy a celestial staircase?”
Well, there’s that ‘bridge to nowhere’ in Alaska…
Paul Kantner did a side project called Blows Against The Empire which is rife with scientific misinformation. Babies do not grow on trees and therefore couldn’t “tumble down” like hail as the song asserts. In the song A Child Is Coming, he asserts the sex of the child is female when he sings about “Let’s not tell them[the government} about him”. In fact, the child was female, China Kantner, as any competent amniocentesis or ultra-sound would have revealed. In the song* Have You Seen The Stars Tonight?*, he talks about his lady having her head hooked in Andromeda, though he doesn’t specify whether its the constellation or the galaxy. Either way, she’d have needed a really, really big head. Its possible that the last phrase was a metaphor, but on the other hand Grace did a lot of drugs, so maybe he really thought her head was that big.
The album also mentions stealing a starship that had been being built since 1980 and should have been ready about 1990. Historically, and to our very great loss, that didn’t happen. I 've always wondered what the ship’s power source was to have been since we’ve not come anywhere close to finding a propulsive that would get us anywhere in any reasonable amount of time in our own solar system, much less get us to Andromeda. He also posited that the ship would hold 7,000 people and didn’t speak to who was going to pay the cost of it’s construction.
Don’t be silly. Of course there’s a Highway to Hell. Beavis and Butthead explained it best:
“Bon Scott sang that he was on a highway to Hell, and then he died. So he was, like, right.”
How can you argue with such impeccable logic?
Incidentally, the Highway to Hell doesn’t melt because it’s paved with good intentions. It’s pretty snazzy-looking, although the good intentions littering the roadside detract a bit.
Actually, it’s the broken dreams littering the roadside :smack:
What’s this “Here comes the sun” crap? Did the persecution of Galileo mean nothing to these people?!?! :mad: :mad: :mad:
But the highway really does exist. Or, it did exist until 2003 when some government do-gooders runumbered it.
But the highway really does exist. Or, it did exist until 2003 when some government do-gooders renumbered it.