Curlcoat, while I do sympathize with your plight, it really does take a village.
You see, I HATE it when kids screan. I HATE it when kids have their hands all over things they shouldn’t when they are in a store. I HATE it when kids run indoors (gymnasiums excepted).
So, I have taken it upon myself to correct them. That’s right. I am THAT woman. I don’t care if the parent is only two feet away. I especially like it when they can hear me talking to their child and they get mad or embarrassed.
You see, the people we really need to help raising here are the parents. Grow up and look after your kids. What? You are too tired to? Then don’t bring them to a public place and inflict them on the rest of us. What? You need to bring them with you because you have no one to look after them? Then teach them how to behave in public.
FTR, I am a parent of two children who DO NOT pull this stuff very often. If they do, they are called on it and are removed from the situation.
YAY you!
When I was a child (50s and 60s), pretty much any adult in my vicinity was allowed this luxury. We’d never DREAM of running amok through a grocery store or other public place. And if, for some reason we forgot ourselves and did misbehave in public, we’d be likely to encounter some adult who would tell us, in no uncertain terms, “you get back to your mother THIS INSTANT” or “where is your mother young lady”?
And our moms would be thankful. And if my little hellions, (when they were that age) might be caught misbehaving out in public, and some other mom or dad told them to knock that crap off, I’d say “thank you”.
What the “cult of the child/pwecious snowfwake” people aren’t getting is that it’s NOT that we don’t tolerate the children, what we don’t tolerate is bad behaviour. And it IS their responsibility to both respond to, and train their children out of bad behaviour, those that don’t (and then bring in all the “oh you people must hate children, that’s just how kids are” BS) are being lazy and selfish.
From a vantage point not on your property, record a video of the children playing and screaming, screaming, screaming. Zoom in closely, and linger for a while on each child. Zoom back out then turn the camera and allow it to film a dirty twenty year old van with newspapers completely covering the insides of the back windows. Then fade the video to black. Burn to a DVD-R and leave it in their mailbox.
No, if I wanted to raise people, I’d have had children. Those who have children and then can’t be bothered to teach them even the basics of consideration for others shouldn’t be helped, they should be shunned since anything less than that seems to make them think what they are doing is acceptable. That’s part of the underlying message of “you people must hate children, that’s just how kids are” - any member of the village who doesn’t want to help lazy parents to raise their offspring must be child haters.
Unfortunately, the way our neighborhood is set up and how close together the houses are, no matter how it was filmed one of the innocent neighbors would end up getting a visit from the police!
The other thing I think the cult of the child people don’t get is that as a parent, your job is to raise a functioning, productive member of society, not make your kid’s childhood the most perfect thing ever. A functioning, productive member of society knows that they don’t always get what they want, and they do have to consider other people, and they’re never too young to start learning that with age-appropriate parenting.
I think I’ve mentioned that I do animal rescue once or twice. quick, where is the tongue in cheek smiley?
We sit in a petstore with puppies and kittens. Some toddlers already know to not touch with saying Pwease, other toddlers run up the to cages and kick and shout at the animals. Guess which sort of kids have parents who glare or say something about “he’s just a kid” when I yell?
Sometimes we will an older kid get into the puppy area to be licked to death. This kid will have been respectful to us and the animals and we will talk to the parent first. Puppies have sharp teeth and nails. When we are sure that kid will survive this and that the parent will be OK, the kid goes in.
There are so many caregivers who want to just lift their 2 or 3 year old into the puppy area without asking us. Excited puppies and kids who can barely walk, how could anything go wrong?
I actually have a lot of sympathy for you on this one, curlcoat. It’s bad enough that the kids are actually screaming during the day, but carrying on to midnight? They should be in bed anyway.
My daughter’s never been noisy, but in the past few months some of her teenage friends REALLY are. It’s just talking, but they seem to have some sort of who can talk the loudest competition going on. One of my neighbours, from two floors up, came up asked me to tell them to be quiet because they were making the building shake. Now, this is a Victorian building of purpose-built flats (not a conversion), so I think she was exaggerating, but she wouldn’t even have known the kids were here if she couldn’t hear them.
So now, they have to be quieter or they’re not allowed round any more. They are all apologetic when I go in and remind them; it’s not intentional.
Unfortunately, the whole cult of the child thing as so permeated society that children learn outside the home that they don’t have to earn what they want or consider other folks feelings. You know, you can’t make them feel bad or anything! :smack:
We have this problem when we are training in any place public. Some folks will just stand and watch, or ask questions, but others will allow their kids to run right up to the dogs without warning. They are very lucky that our dogs are extremely patient but even with that some day one of these kids is going to get knocked off their pins by running in front of a working dog that doesn’t see it in time.
Yes, the kids don’t really hear themselves, or in the case of the smaller ones they just don’t know any better - it’s always the parents’ fault when it goes on and on and on… But too many of those parents not only cannot be bothered to tone down the screaming, they get offended when others don’t want to hear it.
Curlcoat, the point I have tried to make twice is that you are the one who doesn’t like their behaviour and that their parents don’t care. If you aren’t going to let the kids know it is not cool (since their parents won’t) then you are going to have to live with it.
I will be the first to admit that in an ideal society, we woudl not have to do this but we don’t live in an ideal society.
Face it, people have kids. In fact, people will always have kids. Even if you didn’t choose to, they are a part of our society.
(Basically, I don’t think you have a right to complain if you aren’t trying to do something to teach them it’s not right, parents be damned. If you try (with the kids, not the parents), I might be a little more sympathetic.)
As I’ve pointed out, I’d have to go all the way up to the bouncer and stick my head in for them to be able to hear me, which I seriously doubt the parents would approve of. Nor react well to.
And kids and parents are given waaaaaay more slack than any other irritating segment of society, something which really needs to stop since it just seems to be creating entitlement minded people.
We are talking 5 or 6 year old kids here - I do not expect them to be able to curb their noise for any length of time, which would mean I’d be over there every, what? hour or so? More often? That just isn’t a realistic solution in this case, especially given that the parents know that their kids’ noise is upsetting the neighborhood. Finally, I didn’t post in here looking for ways to make the noise stop - I know how to do it but I leave the big guns for when I am feeling threatened, not just irritated.
It may also be a non-issue for now, as I will be gone the next two weekends, and the weather has turned bad so there may not be any more bounce houses for awhile.
When was the last time you told someone else’s kid what to do (or not do)? At the very least you would be subject to a screaming rampage by the parent; it could result in the police being called to you; it could end in violence.
The kind of parents who don’t teach their children discipline very often do not take kindly to anyone else trying to do so.
I do it all the time. I have never had a screaming rampage. Could be the way I approach kids? I don’t yell or touch them. Just calmly explain why what they are doing may not be such a good idea and why.
The typical parental response is that they are sorry their kids are doing that. The second most typical is that they are annoyed that I would dare say something to their ‘angel.’ With the second response, I assure you that my ability to speak well goes a long way towards the parents understanding why it is not cool. (If it is in the neighbourhood, I will also break out a beer to share.)
Not sure calmly explaining to a child to cut it out would warrant a call to the police on me. Not sure how I would dig up a parent who would kick my ass for doing so.
I also live in Canada which may be a factor here. We are known for our manners and politeness and even the most ‘special snowflake’'s parent here tries to live up to that reputation at least somewhat. There is also the fact that I live in a community where there are a shitton of kids and all adults look out for them.
I’ve done it quite a few times, and seen other parents do it many, many times, and **never once **have I seen a “screaming rampage.” Only once can I remember a parent even hinting at being pissed off by it, and he got shut down pretty quickly by a third parent.
If you go creating trouble you’ll get trouble. If you’re calm and respectful, you’ll get that in return. Children can be told what to do in a non-abusive, calm way. (It helps to be a parent, since you learn the “parent voice.”)
I think it says a lot that both of the people that never seem to have a problem telling other folks’ kids to be quiet live in Canada. You guys are aware that not all of us get to live in an area where all the adults are, well adult, right? There are clues in my posts, such as the parents across the street getting their drink on in the house while their kids play outside in a potentially harmful activity? Or the fact they have already been approached at least twice about their kids’ noise and the result seems to be to move it from the back yard to the front?
Canadians are great people - I married one - but you don’t seem to realize that your reality isn’t the rest of the world’s reality.
I’ve reprimanded kids in public many times, usually with good results, and I live in Columbus frickin’ Ohio. (We’re required by law to say it that way.) Seriously, your neighborhood sounds like hell on earth.
In my experience, having kids, being around kids and having a low tolerance for misbehaving kids, most kids are pretty nice. You definitely see problems here or there, or catch a parent in a moment of inattention, but the vast majority of families I’ve lived near or interacted with routinely out in public are trying raise good kids. I don’t agree with many of their choices (junk food, excessive tv etc), but most are trying hard to do right. I’ve never got screamed at by a parent, with the exception of some of the nut job parents in Little League when my hubby coached.
Sorry, I was just pointing out a general flaw in your plan. Why advocate for pro-active problems solving when you have the option to sit around fuming about how horrible and unfair the world is?
