In reality the street sweeper, not the driver mind you but the actual sweeper, turned around and said to Richard: “you’ve got a purty mouth dont ya?”, resulting in our OP crapping his pants and apologizing to the inflatable doll he’d been humping in his Aveo since Tuesday - or at least he apologized after fleeing the scene and racing away until one of the two donuts he had been driving on for the past 500 miles finally gave out.
Yeah, I know lots of people who have a Lexus but can’t afford an apartment without a roommate, and who go cruising in bars while leaving their dogs out in the car.
And it’s really impolite to call your Mom a lazy ass roommate.
Hunh, I thought for sure the story was going to end with Sweeper Guy saying something like, “I burning your dogs”. Shows what I know.
Ha! I remember that one!
Oh, gawd. I just want to reach into this computer and punch that guy in that pic until he goes unconscious.
I look like a Hispanic Justin Bieber. That’s what women tell me.
You look like Miley Cyrus?
When I think Alpha Male, I usually think of the Beebs. Dude’s hardcore.
What a fucking moron you are.
Were-virign.
I drive a Prius, live in a one bedroom apartment, and have a dick that can crack walnuts, and I’ve got a deep and abiding sense of pity for people who use the term “omega male” unironically.
This is one of the best pits in recent memory. It reads like a classic from several years ago. The confused reactions? Almost as good. Golf claps all around.
So, zeta male?
Big deal. I don’t own a car-I just use my dick to pole vault from place to place.
So do I.
(Use Czar’s dick to pole vault around town.)
Show this to your room-mate. Maybe he won’t be sleeping all the time anymore.
Clearly Richard North is a cover for Dick South.
Poor little flaccid fellow 
I hope you get help.
Giraffe doesn’t want me to attention whore in the etv thread. I shall obey him. I don’t want his wrath, shall I meet him in a different place. 
IF anyone has anything to say about me, say it here. I’m ready! Oooooooh yes, I’m reaaaaaady!!! Popping my neck bones and shaking my fingers
The fact that he bumped his own “pit me” thread reminds me of a certain jingle…
To stop those monsters, one-two-three,
Here’s a fresh new way that’s trouble-free,
It’s got Paul Anka’s guarantee …
Just don’t look! Just don’t look!*
And yes, I’m aware of the irony in posting a reply.
*Guarantee void in Tennessee.
You’re a doody-head.
Well, your mother doesn’t wear any socks!
(a ding-a-dong)