[rich baritone]
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
Fa La La La Laaaaa La La La La
/[rich baritone]
take it
[deep full alto]
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa La La La Laaaaa La La La La
[/deep full alto]
[sub][aside]
Hey you! Yeah you, the one reading this!! It’s your turn! C’mon, get out there and sing!
[/aside][/sub]
Dawn we now our gay apparell,
Fa la la, la la la, la la…TAKE IT!
<Random, blazing overdrive guitar solo, strobe lights turn on, and pyrotechnics go on in the background>
La!
<Hand signal, everything stops, guitar player runs away, carolers are left alone>
Next. 
Myrrh is mine
It’s bitter perfume.
Brings a life
of gathering gloom.
Sorrowing, sighing,
Bleeding, dying.
Sealed in a stone-cold tomb.
[sub]troll[/sub] the ancient Yuletide Carol
Fa La La La Laaaaa, La Laa Laa Laa!
…
Dashing thru’ the snow
[Lucy van Pelt]
Gimme my pencil!
[/Lucy van Pelt]
In a one-horse open sleigh…
"Yingle bells
Yingle Bells
Yingle all de vay …
Oh vat fun
Ees to ride
Von horse open sleigh HEY, boys and girls, eets Roosski Santa Claus!"
[slow twangy tenor]
Mom got drunk and dad got drunk
At our Christmas party.
We were drinking champagne punch and
Homemade egg nog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn’t know what to think of him
Til he sang “Feliz Navidad”
Feliz Navidad
Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife Mary-Nell
Of course he brought his new wife, Kay
Who talks all about A.A.
Chain smokin’ while the stereo plays
"Noel, Noel, The First Noel
(CHORUS)
Carve the turkey, put the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the egg-nog’s gone
Send somebody to the Quick-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Halleluja! Everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family.
[slow twangy tenor]
Everyone join in!
“Grandma got run over by a reindeer
walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You may say there’s no such thing as reindeer,
But as for me and Grandpa we believe”
OK I’ve waited more than 15 min. So, I guess I’ll just take us to the end, solo like.
[slow twangy tenor]
Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
Can’t remember how I’m kin to them
When they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David new just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh, Silent Night
(Chorus)
Carve the turkey, put the ball game on
Mix Bloody Marys 'cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Halleluja! Everybody say cheese.
Merry Christmas from the family.
Feliz Navidad
[slow twangy tenor]
Thanks to Robert Earl Keene for that one.
<bright tenor>
Blades held high, censer smoking,
God and Goddess, we’re invoking,
Through Elements Five, we celebrate life,
Dancing in a Wiccan Wonderland…
</bright tenor>
Er…Wiccans are welcome in this thread, right?
<squeaky little girl voice>
I’m gettin nuttin for Christmas!
Mommy and Daddy are mad!
I’m gettin nuttin for Christmas!
Cause I ain’t been nuttin but bad!
</squeaky little girl voice>
Rust and smoke,
da heater’s broke,
da door just blew away.
I light a match to see da dash,
and den I start to praaay!
Da frame is bent,
Da muffler went,
da radio, it’s ok.
Oh what fun it is to drive dis rusty Chevrolet!
From Da Yoopers
[bing]
Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
It doesn’t show signs of stopping
And I’ve brought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I’ll hate going out in the storm
But if you’ll really hold me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm
The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
[/bing]
I love that song.