Well, actually the apparent contradiction about the number of Apostles who saw Jesus risen was resolved in the more recent discovery of the Gospel of Judas. here
Judas 2:13 And Jesus appeared before Judas in robes of radiant white. And the Lord did say unto Judas in a big loud boomy voice with lots of reverb.
“Behold Judas, thou did betray me , but I have risen, so neener neener neener”
It was right after that Judas went out and hanged himself.
As for the OP. I certainly have a much better understanding of things in general thanks to the discussions on this board.