I have been a registered user for more than a year and a half. Before that I had been lurking for almost that long, and yet I still don’t quite grasp the social conventions of this forum. Of course I’ve read all the FAQ’s and forum rules, but that wasn’t that much help, they mostly a How Not To Get Banned manual.
I am always afraid I am going to commit the posting equivalent of picking my nose in public or farting loudly during mass. I try to apply common sense and the stuff my mom taught me, but that sometimes is not enough comfort. I am wondering, has anybody written some sort of Big Book of Good Manners in the SDMB? If not, would the oldies and the wise give me some tips? It’ll be apprecciated.
If this thread doesn’t belong here, would any of our benevolent facist mods move it to the appropriate forum?
Darlin’, no one can tell you how to behave “in the same room” and no one can tell you how to behave here. There are going to be people who tell you to “let it all hang out” here, that you can do and say anything you FEEL like saying or doing without consequences.
I don’t happen to agree, but then many here would disagree with me as evidenced by my recent pit thread.
My advice? Be who you really are. If you are a snarky person, you will be accepted more readily here than in “real life”. If you are not, that will come through also, and you will be embraced…by some people, anyway.
Honesty is an underated thing, IMHO. Be honest, and some will love you, some will hate you, some will roll their eyes at you. But at least it will be the real YOU that is eliciting these reactions. There is a lot to be said for that.
I dunno. I’d think that both of those acts would find supportive posters on this MB.
I’d think the etiquette, here, is similar to that in “flesh” encounters (with or without clothes):
Don’t call people names.
Don’t make fun of people who are at a disadvantage (e.g., poor skills of expression or emotionally distraught)
Don’t assume that other people are lying (they may have information sources that are worse–or better, or just different–than you have).
Don’t assume that people are racist/sexist/ageist/elitist/reverse snobs/whatever. They may have been making a point and failed; they may have used a phrase that was innocent to them (although charged to you). They may be from another culture/nation/neighborhood/class where the expression is innocent.*
Don’t assume that a snarky remark was intended to inflict pain–a lot of us are just smartasses who cannot pass up straight lines.
Send chocolate to Lynn Bodoni and TubaDiva.
Thanx folks. I guess that when the “loud fart during mass” happens I will just do what any sensible person would do, and that is point at Sister Magdalena, the 85 yo, almost-deaf nun sitting next to me.
tomndebb’s list is of mostly a matter of common sense (the uncommon variety), still is nice to see that I wasn’t so far off. About sending chocolate to TubaDiva and Lynn Bodoni, I’ve sent many boxes and they always returned them with a “unknown address” stamp. I don’t know why, I am addresssing them to
New people make new contributions, and this board changes subtly, all the time, because people bring to it their own ideas about what’s amusing, what’s appropriate, what’s good for the community, etc. I think you’re on the right track with the common sense thing, and for the rest, don’t worry about “coloring outside the lines.” It’s kind of nice when people mix it up a bit.
I think no matter what you (generic “you”) do, some people will probably like you, some people will probably not like you, and a lot of people won’t even remember who you are.
One good rule of thumb, I think, is to contribute to significantly more threads than you start.
If you start a thread, nurture it. Come back often to see how it is doing. If you get no responses, let it go. Maybe it was too P even for MPSIMS.
My 2c.
Now, see, I was a little wary of this, because I didn’t want anyone to think I was bumping my thread at the expense of someone else’s.
Case in point…I was the one to announce first that the 5th Harry Potter book was out (search for Order of the Phoenix in Cafe Society.) Someone else posted after me with the same info, and now my thread has passed on to the Great Second Page In the Sky and no one knows that I had the scoop. (sniff sniff)
Rather silly, I know, but I didn’t want to get into a Thread War, but I was first. (Jeez, I feel like I’m ten, rather than 30 mumble mumble)
Would it have been proper etiquette to keep bumping the thread I started? Or (and this is what I’ve really done) let it go and start thinking about throwing a temper tantrum in the Pit for the pure giggle factor?
A single bump (especially for an unaswered question in GQ if it rolls of the first page in a hurry) is usually tolerated, but persistent bumping is just annoying.
On the other hand, you could have announced your pique in the second thread that you had been ignored in your triumph, while providing a link to your own earlier thread.
(After which you should flounce out with what little dignity remains to you, and not keep calling more attention to yourself.)
Lots of good advice, some I hadn’t though about. Thx.
Let me see:
400+ posts
6 threads
1 1/2 years
Is that good? What is the Generally Accepted Post/Thread Ratio? No, no! Don’t tell me to use my common sense. I want a number! We must have a number. We need clear rules. We cannot live without clear, sternly enforced rules. Why kind of wishy washy mods are these? Facist my a$$!
