Then, Beck, you wouldn’t mind me. I enjoy an occasional cigar and an occasional pipe. Only the best cigars and pipe tobaccos, of course. My ex-wife never minded them, and in fact, often suggested that I have a cigar or pipe while we watched TV, she liked the aroma that much.
Yay! Where are we going?
Dunno, @Beckdawrek . Where would you like to go?
Robert Hays.
One of those Doctor Who aliens where as soon as you’re no longer looking at them you forget that they ever existed.
Someone who won’t bother me. How about Karen Ann Quinlan circa April 20, 1975. Put her in the window seat.
I’d pick Dorothy Parker, as long as she has a good stock of nicotine gum, and she doesn’t complain most of the time about non-smoking flights.
I wouldn’t pick Helen Keller, because she actually could speak, and apparently over-estimated how understandable her speech was-- and she liked to tactilely speech-read other people.
If I said “No” to that, I do understand very fast fingerspelling, and can produce it quickly too. But really don’t want to for 15 hours. If she had ever learned American Sign Language, I’d be fine with her.
I’d be fine with being seated next to my friend from college, Elizabeth, who is Deaf-blind, and communicates through tactile ASL.
But as far as famous people I think it would be interesting to sit next to: after Dorothy Parker, my next choice would be Sarah Vowell. Number three is Stephen Jay Gould. I’d consider Penn Gillette if he weren’t 6’4 and over 200lbs.
That’s actually my reservation in being seated next to my own husband-- he’s 6’2 and 240lbs. We always fly at least Economy+, and First Class if we can afford it. If for some reason we must go coach, we ask for the emergency exit row-- seats don’t go back, but there’s extra foot room.
I would choose Stephen King.
But then I realized he would spend the first 45 minutes of the flight describing how the plane was possessed by an evil demon. During the next 14 hours would tell in great detail how the plane would brainwash the passengers to kill each other, preferably by crushing each other’s skulls. And in the last 15 minutes he would reveal that it was all a dream.
You know, if we’re able to choose dead people as seat mates, I’d choose my dad. I got about 10 years of stuff to tell him about.
Living people, it’ll be tough to beat Barak Obama, to mix it up a little, I’ll go with Mark Hamill.
My spouse. I’m another one who doesn’t really like talking during flights, especially to strangers (even famous ones). I’m also not a tiny person, so I’d rather sit next to someone who doesn’t mind snuggling with me.
My mom. She died about 15 years ago. I would love to talk to her again.
Stephen Colbert. I’d take any opportunity to spend time talking with him.
I would pick DSeid.
Alternatively, I would pick a third stage navigator from Ix willing to share some of that fine Spice to cut the travel time down significantly.
Either Richard Feynman or Neil deGrasse Tyson. It would take them 20 hours to explain physics to me.
Crash Insurance?
Great choice! She’d be fun to sit beside. Besides, she could compose her poems during the flight:
I don’t mind a plane ride,
I don’t mind a Coke,
I don’t mind airplane food,
But please God, let me smoke!
George R. R. Martin.
Yes, I know he’s large. I’ve met him in person. But just maybe I could keep him focused on working on the book over the flight.
Tommy!
I am not sure I could cope with his drinking problem.
I think I would like to sit next to Al Franken. I sort of met him once (said hi as he was taking some things out of the trunk). He seems good enough, and smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like him. As long as he does not start telling the one about the rabbi who did not charge for circumcisions.
??? Rabbis don’t perform circumcisions, mohels do-- you could be both, but it’s not a requirement.