I’d like to say it’s cute when you stomp your foot and insist, buuuut…
I’m a narcissistic, elitist, entitled asshole. Completely and utterly, ask anyone who knows me. Therefore, the airline industry needs to incorporate my list of rules. Additionally, all flying sucks at some level, accept it. There is no “comfort or comfortable” Our job is just to endure with our humanity and lives intact.
-
You are allowed one backpack per person. That’s it. I don’t give a shit what your excuse is, one backpack, the way God intended.
-
There is no mulling around the gate, getting in everyone’s way. Sit your ass down and wait until they call your zone. Sit. Down.
-
Leave your dog at home, unless he’s stuffed in your backpack. And dead.
-
Nobody cares about you and whatever your issues are. Nobody.
-
There will be a separate security line for people that have never gone through security, are brain dead, or are just slower than shit.
-
GET ON THE FUCKING PLANE AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!!
-
GET OFF THE FUCKING PLANE ~ RIGHT NOW!
-
Recline is a lie. Don’t believe the hype.
Now, for the nice rules.
-
Be polite. The guy you said “excuse me” to may just be the one who saves your life.
-
If there is someone with a kid who isn’t seated next to said kid, ask them if they want to switch seats. Even if you get a worse one.
-
When seeing a very tall guy getting on the plane, offer up your aisle or window seat. Most of the time they won’t take it, but it’s the right thing to do.
-
Offer incredibly fat people the same option. I can think of no more agonizing/humiliating thing on a plane, than to be the super obese person. Show some empathy.
-
Talk, don’t talk, I don’t care. Get your cues from your seat mates, and pay attention to the cues.
-
If someone is terribly apprehensive about flying, try to distract them.
-
Do everything in your power to help parents of small children. We will all thank you.
Flying is an opportunity to be a better human than normal to complete strangers in a stressful situation. Take advantage of the opportunity.
All the nice rules only apply to domestic flights three hours or less. Any longer or farther, it’s every man for himself.
I like Southwest.
North By Northwest.
If I’m ever flying and see a freakishly tall sideshow of a man, I’m gonna wonder . . .
If you’re bald it’s your cross to bear, I’m afraid. That I have shoulder length hair doesn’t entitle you to some pf mine!
I didn’t make you tall and I didn’t make the seat small. Taking your problem out on me is misguided. Take it up with someone who has the power to change it. If enough people do, change will come. If not, things will remain the same. That’s life.
So tell me, have you bothered to always ask at check in for a leg room seat? Have you told the person booking your travel your requirements? What’s stopping you from booking your own travel? Do you ask about upgrading to stretch every time? Or go for the cheaper option, or can’t be bothered to book your own travel, or don’t want the bother of booking well in advance and, instead, take it out on the person in front of you?
If you’ve decided you need to go, short notice, need the money, need the job, can’t complain to the boss etc, then that’s your call to make. It’s a choice you’ve made knowing it means less leg room than you’d prefer. Stop taking it out on the people around you because you don’t like the choice you had to make.
That’s life, we all make choices we’re less than delighted with, find ourselves in less than ideal circumstances. We’re all too tall, or too fat, or too short for one thing or another. And we all just have to suck it up. Even bald guys.
This I like. We could be friends.
As one of the tall guys, I’m always helping someone stow or get their bags down.
I want in or out too. But cool, I like helping. “The green one? Up there? Got it”.
:sigh: As a kid I LOVED to sit by the window. Now it’s just a trap.
You won’t have to, I’ve seen your picture. I’ll be like “Holy fuck, KAYAKER?!?”
I owe you a beer.
I used to be able to get a seat that way. (sigh). It’s no longer possible on ANY or the long-haul flights I have used in the last 5-6 years.
Seats are booked according to the importance of passengers. I’m only forced to fly for family reasons every couple of years, and I’m not important enough to get preference on seating. I can’t select a seat until AFTER all the high priority passengers have selected: seat booking for me only opens 24 hours before the flight, and half the seats are already booked by that time.
And I don’t spend the whole flight whining. I’m reporting here that, like others, I would pay extra to sit in a non-reclining section.
I don’t mind if the person in front of me reclines.
If you are thinking of traveling internationally, you do get free booze in economy class- unless you travel in an airline that doesn’t serve booze at all.
When you have a 14 hour flight the seat recline is important, and I prefer the airlines that allow less “travel” between the seats.
6’3" here, It does crack me up when shorter people get offended at stuff like this. I have a bad back, a worse neck and I sleep like shit esp in noisey well lit places like planes, it is already a living hell taking even an hour long flight. The last thing I need is to get all hot and bothered over the chair in front of me and its upright or not position.
Do you go to the ocean and get pissed when the tide goes out?
Do you really honestly think the person in front of you just wants to piss you off?
Do you honestly think that what goes on in your brain is just the way the world outside your head works?
Believe it or not some people are not comfortable sitting straight up in a plane seat. If I could I would tilt that bitch back another 6 inches, put in ear plugs, grab a little pillow and something to cover my eyes and sleep the entire flight other than the last 15 minutes. Sadly that reality is never going to happen. Its still not worth getting upset about.
I confess, I have always - until now, at least - reclined the seat in planes as soon as the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign goes off. The logic has been…
- fuck it, they recline, why not?
- it’s not a massive difference - a couple 'a inches at best…
- everyone else is doing it
- it’s marginally more comfortable for me, and eats into ‘airspace’ which the person behind me wouldn’t be using anyway
I never knew that I was invoking so much rage at my behaviour. I’m not sure if I should hang my head in shame, or be defiant though.
Many times, I am asked to sit right next to the emergency exit. I am more likely to get it open than the very pretty 5’6" 130# lady that is sitting there. With 4-5 requests for people to change seats, everybody is happy.
Not at all. A “nice seat” for you is completely different than a “nice seat” for me. The only room that makes a difference in my comfort level is the room to recline-- if I can recline, I’m perfectly happy because I can easily sleep through the flight. Nothing else matters.
Legroom has no value to me at all. I actually dislike sitting in bulkheads and would gladly switch those for a normal seat.
Don’t worry, you’re only invoking internet rage. Any reasonable and socially well-adapted human being doesn’t give a tinker’s cuss whether you recline your seat or not.
I’ve never seen a single incident of actual rage on an aircraft due to seat reclining; it’s all complete fucking bollocks and frankly as tiresome as “those tiny packs of peanuts, what are they all about?”
I don’t like bulkhead seats because there’s no under-seat space in front of me in which to stow stuff I can easily get to.
Oddly, I don’t get annoyed on people leaning back on long flights. I get it- we all have 4-14 hours to go, and we can’t sit bolt-upright the entire time.
I do tend to get kind of heated about the knuckleheads on flights from say… Houston to Dallas, or Dallas to San Antonio who, as soon as the chime sounds at 10,000 feet, immediately recline their seat back, so that the tray-table is poking me in the gut.
Really? You have to recline and sit back like that for a 45 minute flight? Sitting upright IS the way to go on those flights- they’re short, and it makes it more comfortable for everyone.
Yep - I’m with you. I just can’t bring myself to quietly accept inconsiderate abuse from others. I won’t ever fully recline an airline seat unless the seat behind me is unoccupied. An inch or two, half recline is enough and won’t confine the person behind me.
It would if you couldn’t get enough of it.