"Secret Santas" in the workplace should be OPTIONAL!

The BBQ Pit
1

So I came into work last night and I was informed:

“We’re doing Secret Santas! Pick a name out of the bowl!”

Fuck you people! Fuck your miserable fucking faces!

Here’s the situation I now find myself in: I work the graveyard shift- I am the only person on during my shift. So almost everyone else on staff has already picked from the bowl and my name had been put in the bowl with everyone else’s. Someone could very easily have already picked my name. If someone did pick my name there is no way of finding out who since no record has been kept- it’s secret! This pretty much robs me of the opportunity to abstain since there could already be a person buying a present for me. So, grudgingly, I pull a name from the bowl.

First of all, I am busy and I don’t look forward to having another errand to run. Especially a work-related errand during my personal free time!

Secondly, the Holidays are expensive enough and money is tight. There are people with whom I am quite close, people who I love dearly, who will not be getting material Christmas presents.

Thirdly, as I mentioned above, I am the sole person working during my shift. I see my co-workers for a few minutes when I come on and relieve them at the start of my shift, and for a few minutes when they relieve me at the end of my shift. I have co-workers I’ve never met. I communicate with my manager through e-mail. I barely know these people! And I’m supposed to buy one of them a present???

Even if the conditions were completely different, this should still be OPTIONAL!

Fuck these people’s miserable fucking faces!

When I picked a name out of the bowl there were about 5 names that had not yet been picked- there were a few people who had had days off and had not worked a shift yet since the Secret Santa thing had been organized. After everyone else left for the night I dug through the bowl to see if my name had been picked yet. Luckily, I had not yet been picked. So, I took my name out of the bowl and replaced it with the name I had originally pulled. Now none of these people has to buy a present for me, and I don’t have to buy anything for any of them.

Am I wrong? Wouldn’t this piss you off? Fuck their miserable fucking faces?

2

No, you weren’t wrong. We’re doing an “ornament exchance” at work this year, and I’m opting. right. the fuck. out. First, I don’t collect nor want ornaments. Second, my coworkers are okay, but I don’t want to sit around being “festive” with them. I’m having my girlfriend pick me up for lunch that day and that solves that. I won’t bring a package or take a package and it all evens out.

So, yes, it should definitely be optional.

One of the things I didn’t like about Amazon is that we were forced to do it, and when I tried to politely decline, my supervisor guilted me into it by saying, “Well… I’ll just buy for your person and put your name on it, then.” Sure. Right. I should’ve let her do it. Ugh!

Yeah, I feel your pain. And don’t even get me started on the guilt-trip to donate to the angel tree/United Way/Toys for Tots stuff.

3

With all the “cultural senstivity” do they even realize not everyone celebrates Christmas.

But, yes, completely agree. I’m not a gift person. Don’t like getting crap. Don’t like giving crap. And Secret Santa programs often get expensive. A “small gift” every X often until the “big gift” the last day. Even a candybar is almost a dollar. Better thing to with my time and money than buy cheap crap for people I barely know that will fill landfills by next year.

4

Personally the only gifts I feel I HAVE to buy for people are for my close family members (parents, grandparents, sister), and very very close friends (of which I have one). After that, other people are optional. Secret Santas piss me off. Why should you have to spend money on someone you barely know?

5

We do Secret Santa and Secret Buddy games at work. Luckily though, it’s totally volunteer and has never actually been expensive.

Since I crochet scarves, I usually make one for the person whose name I picked that has their favorite color in it. It’s a very personalized, one of a kind gift, it’s inexpensive, and it ties neatly in with something I’d be doing anyway.

Making Secret X program mandatory is just… wrong.

6

Exactly. Doesn’t that defeat the whole idea of it?

7

No, you are not wrong. You did exactly the right thing.

After the holidays, I think you might send a note to one of the organizers:

Dear Mary Beth,

Thank you for organizing the Secret Santa gift exchange in December. I do appreciate the sentiment behind it. At the risk of being labeled a Scrooge, the holidays stress me out for a variety of reasons and such things only add to my stress. Since I know your intent is certainly the opposite, I would respectfully request that in the future we are asked in advance whether or not we’d like to participate.
Best Wishes,

Bienville

8

Yup. It’s supposed to be a fun, lighthearted expression of holiday spirit, not an obligation.

9

The way I see it you lucked out to find your own name and now no one has to be the wiser. I agree that it’s not cool to force everyone to participate in a religious exercise like this and yes…fuck their miserable fucking faces.

10

Yep, you should have. Idiots like that need to have it made clear to them that this sort of workplace coercion is unacceptable, whether they’re organizing a secret santa or collecting for United Way.

11

Looking back, I absolutely should have. But, no, I felt guilty and spent an hour traipsing around looking for a certain type of golf ball this man wanted. This man who I didn’t even know and had never laid eyes on. Couldn’t find them, ended up searching his Amazon wish list and buying him a DVD he had listed. Then I had to buy gift wrap especially for that, seeing as I had ordered all of my Giftmas things offline and had no gift wrappings or bags or bows.

12

Our department does something similar except the point is to get totally awful, tacky gifts. Supposedly you bring in the worst gift you’ve ever received, wrap it up, and put it in the gift pile. The first person selects one and everyone groans at how awful it is. Then the next person opens another awful gift and decides whether they want to keep it or exchange with the first gift opener. Then the third person opens a gift and decides whether they want to keep it or exchange for any of the previously opened gifts. Rinse and repeat till we get through everyone.

The first year we did it (5 years ago), it was mildly amusing. Now I’m just sick of it. I don’t keep nasty old gifts around, so I always have to hunt for something to bring. Last year I grabbed a can of beets off the shelf. I thought it would express my disdain for the whole thing, but the damn beets were a huge, comedic hit. Plus we have to fork over $10-$20 (depending on your position) for refreshments at an in office party.

I wouldn’t mind it so much except management views it as a wonderful team-buidling experience. So instead of solving the real problems we have with working together (like different areas frequently having conflicting objectives), we get a stupid gift exchange. Yeah, like I’m going to feel more team-y about the cow-orker who made my life miserable all year because we sat around opening crappy gifts together.

That and the fact that it’s billed as “optional” but it’s not really. If you try to opt out you get a lot of pressure from the organizers (“it’s so fun–don’t you want to be a part of it?”/“you can’t miss out, everyone is going to be there”). Then your manager wonders why you don’t want to be a part of a wonderful team building experience.

This year, I’m lucky. I’ll be on vacation during the gift exchange. So I finally have a good reason to opt out!

If we ever do a SS exchange, I like punditlisa’s suggestion. I’ll have to file that for future reference!

13

The only adults that I buy a gift for on Christmas are my Parents. Unless you have a wife or a girlfriend (or in-laws). That should be it. Spend the money on closely related kids (or give it to charity).

14

Ahh! Perfect! From now on I’m telling 'em I’m a Jehovah’s Witness and thus am forbidden from doing so.

I fucking loathe Secret Santas. I don’t understand why some people enjoy them. As though we need MORE gift-buying to do at Christmas.

15

Preach it!

I give art (my own) to my parents and my boyfriend’s parents and occasionally pick something up for my sisters- beyond that I am a Christmas Conscientious Objector (my boyfriend is too). I make sure all of my friends know my stance: I don’t expect a gift from you beyond your goodwill and company, don’t expect anything material from me. I do love to give people things, and all through the year whenever I find some little thing that reminds me of someone, I get it for them and give it on the spot, but count me out in December. I hate enforced shopping!

16

I like doing the secret Santa thing, but I don’t think anyone should be forced to participate.

Next year tell 'em to leave your name out of the bowl.

17

Or more useless gifts. Last year I got lip gloss and a bar of soap. Two things I really did not need more of.

18

at my workplace it’s totally voluntary with a gift limit of $10. If somebody shoved a bowl in my face I’d be pissed, but if one has the choice to participate or not, then there should be no problem.

19

It’s the thought that someone wnet to the trouble of getting you something they thought you might enjoy!

Criminy, I need to watch my **It’s a Wonderful Life **DVD to restore my Christmas spirit because you Grinches are sapping it big time.

20

gobear: It’s the thought that someone wnet to the trouble of getting you something they thought you might enjoy!

Actually, the thought that somebody was pressured into going to the trouble and expense of getting me a gift, when they wouldn’t have done so otherwise and when they don’t really know what I’d like, doesn’t do much for my holiday spirit either.

But by all means go and see “It’s a Wonderful Life” again—great flick.