A friend of mine was just telling me yesterday that he got railroaded into the whole Secret Santa thing at work, but…he picked his own name!
He thinks it might be just the right time to buy that widescreen tv he’s been wanting and open it up in front of the whole office saying, “Wow, Secret Santa! You shouldn’t have!!”
…do I get to carve the roast beast?
I hate this Secret Santa nonsense. My first year at work, I felt I had to do it, so reluctantly I did. There was a limit on spending, no more than a couple of dollars on the gifts to be spread out over a few days.
I bought little bags of candy and the like, while my SS bought a 30+ dollar stuffed animal, and a couple of other similarly priced items for me. I tried to turn down the gifts but whoever it was wouldn’t take them back. I decided that everyone was aware of the limit so I wouldn’t feel bad about it. I ended up giving them to charity, but have never participated again and never will.
[QUOTE=Sam Stone}You’re all still a bunch of Grinches. So there. Grinch grinch grinchety grinch.[/QUOTE]
Bullshit. A grinch would try to somehow end Secret Santa for everyone. Not a single person here advocated that. We just don’t want to take part and especially don’t want to deal with peer pressure and guilt trips about it.
Haj
Why not donate some money to your favourite charity and put in a gift card saying you had done so? It would fit right into the impersonal, forced feeling of this ludicrous exercise, and would do a bit of good for the world into the bargain.
I am strictly opposed to any form of work-oriented mandatory socializing. If I like my co-workers enough to see them socially, I’ll invite them for coffee in my free time. Failing that, I do not want to be ordered to party. It’s about as much fun as being ordered to find a joke funny. I’m very happy I work at home.
SS: You’re all still a bunch of Grinches. So there. Grinch grinch grinchety grinch.
Thank you for your thoughtful rebuke, Comrade Stone. I have now realized that our wise and glorious leaders want only what is best for us, and that it is our Duty to the Workplace to spend our own time and money to promote the proper Party atmosphere of conviviality and jollity! I hereby resolve to be henceforth a constant participant in the Happy Soviet Workers’ Recreation Cl—er, I mean, office socializing.
Seriously, dude, why would somebody who claims to care about personal liberty be in favor of pressuring people into doing this sort of thing? Those who actually enjoy spending their personal time and money on their coworkers can keep it up all weekend and every evening, as far as I’m concerned. But why are you in favor of pressuring or harassing or downright requiring people to participate if they don’t want to? What’s up with that?
I don’t think they should have them at all, even if they’re optional.
At some places, there’s “pressure” even if it is optional. It’s one thing to send out a company email saying, “anyone who wants to do this, gather in the conference room at 5:00 today”. It’s another for someone to come into your office (or cube) and say, “do you want to do Secret Snowman? It’s optional.” (but you just heard the people in the adjoining 3 offices get into it, Scrooge!).
Bah humbug, I say.
Flattery will get you nowhere, pal. I’m still not pulling a name from the hat.
Trust me, you don’t want me in your Secret Santa pool anyway. I know what you’re thinking, punk. You’re thinking, is my name still in the bowl for her to pick? Well to tell you the truth, I haven’t unfolded the slip yet; I could still put it back and pretend I never took it. But being as whoever’s name I pull is probably gonna end up with a six-pack of Kraut Juice or maybe the old worn-out brake disks I’ve been carrying in my trunk for 4 months, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?
[Mr. Potter] Happy New Year to you Sam. IN JAIL! [/Mr. Potter]
Fuck Xmas and all this bullshit that goes along with it. If I could erase December from the year, I would be a much happier girl. :mad:
I agree that people shouldn’t have to participate.
What I like about my office is that we don’t have a secret santa thing. Instead, people pitch in to get presents for a needy family and for needy kids (not necessarily in the same family). I’d rather spend my few dollars on presents for a family who’s in need, so I’m glad that we do this here. Plus, even what we do here is totally optional.
At the staff holiday party, there’s a white elephant exchange, but even the staff party is optional (and there’s no pressure).
I must be missing something here. I’ve read bienville’s post three times, but never saw the part where his co-worker told him participation was mandatory, or the part where bienville tells the co-worker “no thanks, I’d prefer not to participate.” Instead, we go straight from “we’re having a Secret Santa” to “fuck their miserable faces!” Seems to me the only thing wrong here is the self-righteous indignation.
I like what my office does instead. We have a small luncheon, with a gift exchange similar to what MaddyStrut described, but without the goal of especially “tacky” gifts. As a matter of fact, there have been enough darn right nice things exchanged that I’m considering participating this year. When asked in past years, I never had to endure name-calling for declining, nor have I needed to cite my Judaism for a reason why not.
I think the issue is that bienville didn’t even know there was going to be an exchange until most of the names had already been drawn. It was just good fortune that one of the slips still contained bienville’s name. There was no opportunity to “opt out” until it was (almost) too late.
So, as a boss holding a Secret Santa, would you all be so kind as to tell me if my plans are objectionable?
I first held a survey asking about various holiday activities, such as potluck, Secret Santa, cookie exchange, etc. explicitly detailing that participation is completely optional and furthermore they didn’t even need to sign their name. From this I decided to hold Secret Santa only due to the preferences of the group.
I handed out little forms asking for name and gift preferences/ideas with instructions to spend no more than $10. I will hand out the forms (my boss recommend I not participate) to the participants. Nowhere will I indicate who participated and who didn’t, and due to the pool of people I am pulling from (about 25) who are working all kinds of hours and over my area of the building, I don’t think anyone will work it out (and we’re not the kind of workplace where people would care, I would think).
About half of people participated, about half not. Because many of the people are low-income temps with kids, I don’t think that non-participants are grinches at all – but I desperately want to do things that make people happy and excited (but I have little money to work with).
Any objections here?
Nope, not a single objection here. Sounds nice and I hope you guys enjoy it!
As a boss myself, we (the other boss = my wife) had our Christmas Party last Friday night. That in itself was optional to attend because I don’t want to force anyone to be there if they don’t want to…why give them a reason to be resentful and why would I want to see their sour face there?
Similar to twickster, (and optional to those who attended the party) we have a gift exchange which is quite fun to do AND watch. Each willing participant brings a wrapped gift ($10 limit) and leaves it on the gift table. Each participant draws a number from a hat. In numerical order, the first person picks a gift and goes back to their seat. Second person has the option to TAKE the first person’s gift or select a different gift from the table. If second person takes first person’s gift, then first person selects another gift from the table. Third person can either take 1st or 2nd’s gift or go to the table, etc.,etc., etc. until the last person (or someone that the last person took the gift from) takes the last gift on the table. Gifts could change hands many times, adding to the amusement.
What makes it great is that people tend to be attracted to attractive gift bags, wrapping, bows, etc. and have no idea what the gift inside is. Also, some people (like me) ends up having their gift taken over and over again. That’s when I realized that (as a joke) adding additional “gifts” (such as stuff you would find on the table - plates, spoons, coffee cups, saucers, butter, sugar, salt and pepper shakers, napkins, etc.) started finding their way into the bagged gifts that I would always pick. 
When everyone is done picking out their gifts, we open them at the same time. Some people ended up with service for four along with that candle that was originally gifted. Pretty funny stuff. Even the hotel catering staff had a chuckle when they realized I wasn’t stealing their stuff, just merely “moving” it to a different table. It was also pretty funny to watch them keep track of everything that I was bagging. All in all, everyone had a great time, although we got screwed in the music/dj department.
Beer tends to make me do things like that.
Yes, it is objectionable. Here’s why. I pick my battles in the workplace. Secret Santa is an annoyance, but I don’t think it is a battle worth fighting. I’d be pissed off at what I would see as “Mandatory Optional” Secret Santa. I’d do it with a smile, but would be pissed behind your back
At most places, I would say about 10% or so of the cow-orkers really get into things like Secret Santa. For the rest of us, they are an annoyance. If it isn’t Secret Santa then whatever “bonding” experience you come up with is still going to piss me off.
We’re doing a optional mandatory “comfort food” pot luck as well as another mandatory optional team leader dinner with the boss. I’m dreading both of these things. Hell, I’m leaving this company and the state this month and I still have been guilt tripped to try and participate.
Why is it “Mandatory Optional”? I went out of my way to indicate that it was optional, and I’m not keeping track of who participates. I’m not even discussing it with team members - they just got a little note in their mailbox.
How, in your opinion, could I make this event fully optional without not having it at all? Anything?
I’d like to clarify that the only reason I’m even holding it is because of several requests to do so and people asking about what we would do for the holidays around here. The forms were due last week and I’ve had several people approach me today asking who they are getting and when they would know because they were excited about starting. Our employee feedback has also been consistently in favor of more events like this, too – even anonymous feedback through surveys and the like. Therefore, I would suggest that your statement that only 10% of people enjoy these would be in error.
I think he means that even if you say it’s optional, there will still be people keeping tabs on who participates and who doesn’t, and the participants (especially those you shall be merry now all hail Worker Solidarity types) might discriminate against their coworkers later on, such as, “Oh, you want me to switch shifts with you so you can go to your kid’s recital? Well, too bad, should have thought of that before you opted out of Secret Santa.” Some people really are that petty. Also, even if you as the boss don’t care who participates and who doesn’t, people might perceive that you’re judging them for not participating, and resentfully do it out of a desire to kowtow to the bossman. They figure that it’s better to do something stupid and stressful like a Secret Santa than be passed over for promotion in a few years because their boss remembers their “Grinchy” behavior. Maybe it’s paranoia, and unjustified in your case, but there’s lots of bosses out there willing to axe someone for the slightest slip-up. I just think hosting a Secret Santa at all fosters tension all around.
I hate these kinds of things, and have ever since fifth grade, when I scoured the mall hunting for a nice present for a stuck-up girl who never said two words to me in school, only for her to give me a candle set that was probably regifted. And I hate candles.