Secret society announcement

I would like to set the record straight: I’m part of a secret society that is opposed to Trump.

Every once in a while, I join a few other Washingtonians, have drinks, and discuss what a total flaming disaster Trump is. None of these people I conspire with happen to work at the FBI, but I’m willing to guess that there are several thousand secret societies within 20 miles of where I’m sitting who do the same thing. And I’m virtually certain that the ringleaders of these cabals include deep state operatives who work in places like the IRS, the Pentagon, the judiciary, the National Institutes of Health, the US Postal Service, and even the Executive Office of the President.

If you would like to join my secret society, it costs, uh, $25. PM me and I’ll tell you where a dead drop is for you to leave cash for your dues. And, uh, I’ll be in contact… when the coast is clear… be patient. But definitely give me the cash.

I’m a member of a society that’s so secret, the members almost never meet face to face and all use pseudonyms. This society has been hiding in plain sight for close to two decades. On the surface it may look like a group of people getting together to chit chat about their daily lives, arts and entertainment, and factual questions. But, in reality it fairly oozes anti-Trump sentiment.

Got news for you: That society is far from secret.

Yes, but my secret society is far more expensive. I mean, elite.

Can a secret society that isn’t a secret still be considered to be a secret society? Unless it’s a trademarked name, of course.

I’ve enclosed a $25 bill in a black envelope and taped it to my laptop’s wireless card. Please feel free to download it at your convenience.

Or, and this is radical, or some of us could just meet for drinks when we’re close enough. Just a thought. Probably a bad idea. None of you really like drinks or coffee even. Just forget I mentioned it.

I, too, am taping a $25 bill to my wireless card. :stuck_out_tongue:

My secret society is much the same as Ravenman’s.

We meet once a week in a furtive, anarchistic coffee house to discuss strategies to oppose and otherwise frustrate Trump and his policies at every turn.

We indulge in wild fantasies of things we’d like to see happen to him.

We are united in our cause because we are distressed and alarmed to see a bald-faced, lying, uneducated, dangerous racist criminal representing our country at the highest level. Where I live, you can’t swing a cat without hitting a couple hundred more secret societies like ours. People like us have infested all walks of life here: They serve coffee, work at Home Depot, bag your groceries, and yes – they even work in government.

Call me crazy, but I believe some FBI agents are strongly opposed to criminals, too.

Dues to join a secret society that I’m not supposed to talk about? Isn’t that hush money? If you charged me a young dog instead, would that be a hush puppy? If I had to sing a good night song at the initiation would that be a hush-a-bye?

Hushtag inquiring minds

The funniest thing about all this is that the FBI overall has a very conservative, authority driven, and patriarchal bent. I’ve never known a progressive or liberal FBI agent, and there are quite few where I live. But boy oh boy are they ever unhappy with President Trump! He’s right about that.

How can your secret society be any good if I’ve never heard of it?? Riddle me that!

Somebody tweeted about! It MUST be true! Also Fox news. They said so. I’m convinced.

Oh wait, never mind. Different secret society.

Sounds all right, but I already belong to a far more exclusive secret society. So exclusive, in fact, that I’m the only member. You can pay a $100 fee to be put on the waiting list, though. You’ll hear back as soon as a slot opens up.

Are you going to get a bunch of monkeys and dress them up and recreate the civil war? It couldn’t hurt. Unless the monkeys started hurting people. Which that almost certainly would.

My secret society is so secret that even the members don’t know they belong to it.

I would never join a secret society that would have someone like me as a member.

Unless my membership was secret.

Makes the sound of a dying giraffe

Better use the Batley Townswomens’ Guild, instead!

My wireless card is rather intermittent these days, our banknotes are made of plastic, and I live in Canada, so will you accept a $2 coin taped to my USB port? It’s USB 3, if that helps.

I’m a Know Nothing!

But you already knew that.

Not to make it that kind of thread, but the Know-Nothings, or the Native American Party, were very much anti-immigration, hence the name: They were nativist, as in they only wanted native Americans, as in the White people who were already here, and none of those people who’d only immigrated one generation ago as opposed to two or three. They were also anti-Catholic and conspiracy theory mongers.

Just evidence that some political disputes are evergreen, I suppose.

Lincoln had some choice words about them: