Two years ago I adopted an adult male cat named Charlie from a rescue organization. They estimated his age to be seven, but they didn’t know his history, and a cat’s age can’t really be determined with much precision. For a while it was just the two of us in an apartment in northern Virginia, and it worked out great. Charlie was happy and affectionate and full of personality; he routinely sat on my lap, slept with me, and demanded attention from whoever visited.
The following fall I made the difficult decision to move to Florida to look after my elderly father, who was still mostly independent but in need of some minor help with day-to-day living. So I brought Charlie with me and we moved into Dad’s house. Dad had two cats of his own: a male named Peanut and a female named Miss Piggy, both about 12 years old. Charlie became more reserved and tentative, which I pretty much expected while the animals found their rhythm.
For the most part the cats co-existed peacefully. If they bumped into each other unexpectedly when turning a corner or something, there was some hissing/growling/posturing, but I don’t remember any outright fights during that period. The sun porch was the favorite spot of all three, and they would spend hours there in each other’s presence without incident.
Fast forward several more months. Dad died, I sold his house, and bought one of my own in the same town, having decided I like it here enough to stick around for the time being. So I transplanted all three cats to the new digs, and in addition, my fiance David moved down from Virginia to join me, along with his two-year-old female cat Luna.
So now we have four felines thrust together in a strange environment with a new person. It is not going well.
Luna, being a youngster, is completely unfazed; in fact, she’s happy as a clam. She’s sweet, gentle, affectionate, energetic, and playful - a little too playful. She keeps trying to engage the older cats in play, and they’re having none of it. They seem to interpret her overtures as aggression, and they respond with hostility. Peanut and Piggy inflict just enough physical force to allow themselves to get away from her. Charlie, on the other hand, becomes uncharacteristically infuriated and attacks her savagely. So far he hasn’t really hurt her, though Luna did put a nasty gash in Charlie’s tail that required medical attention. Nevertheless, she persists. The poor thing isn’t a fast learner, and it’s heartbreaking - she just wants to play with her new siblings.
Charlie never quite returned to his old self after we moved in with Dad and his cats, and now he’s more withdrawn and depressed than ever. He and Peanut spend most of their time in hiding - Charlie on the lanai, Peanut in the garage (both have free access to the house and we make sure both have food, water, and litter in their preferred sanctuaries). When they do come out, they slink around like beaten dogs and are all but unreceptive to attempts to show them affection. Furthermore, Peanut is increasingly aggressive toward Charlie, which is new behavior for him. And both are utterly terrified of David, seemingly without reason - maybe they associate him with Luna?
David and I have had several conversations about the possibility of finding new homes for one or more of the cats (except Luna). I’m trying to think in terms of their welfare, but I know myself well enough to know I would tear myself up with guilt for the rest of my life. I am not someone who gives up on animals or gives them away. I’d be haunted by the thought that I abandoned them to an even worse situation.
Peanut has lost a noticeable amount of weight, looks generally unhealthy, and is clearly abjectly miserable. We’ve had him checked by a vet and done the full complement of blood work and urine work, and there’s nothing identifiable or treatable going on. I’m almost on board with the idea that re-homing him would be the kindest course of action. But he’s been through so much in the last year, what with losing the only home and the only person he ever knew, who’s to say he’d adjust any better elsewhere?
Peanut and Piggy would pretty much have to go together, since they’re a bonded pair, but Piggy is just fine with the current circumstances and doesn’t deserve to get dumped. She’s happy and healthy and has adjusted marvelously. She sleeps with us, and even sleeps on the bed with Luna. Piggy’s a nice, easy-going girl who doesn’t bother anybody.
Anyway, who would adopt two 12-year-old cats? They’re bound to start having health problems sooner than later, and probably won’t live more than a few more years.
Charlie’s my buddy, and it would pain me acutely to give him away. He doesn’t deserve that, and I feel guilty enough about what I’ve already subjected him to. I have hopes that if two of the three other cats were gone, Charlie would feel more at ease and at home, and become more like his old self. But there’s no guarantee…what if he didn’t? And there’s still the issue of his antipathy toward Luna.
I’m utterly at a loss. Any advice or suggestions would be welcome. I’ve always loved animals and I do my best to be a good dad, but I feel like I’m failing them.
We all make our sacrifices.