So one of my cats might have to go up for adoption (weak)

The BBQ Pit
1

Last Sat night, Rumpleteazer saw another cat in our yard through a closed window and ever since then my life has been hell. Though both Rumpleteazer and Buttercup have calmed down to the point where they are fine alone , if you try to bring them together (even if one is in a cat carrier) they try to attack us and each other. They have clearly not gotten over it and begun to accept each other again (though up to this point they lived in relative harmony for more than 3 years).

CG went to the vet today on his lunch break and is going to try to convince the vet to proscribe tranquilizers for the both of them to see if that will help them mellow out enough to be around each other and eventually learn to accept each other again.

We are also going on a mini-vacation from the 20-22 of July and we planned to have a pet sitter come and watch them, somebody they know and like (because we’ve used her many times before and they had no issues with her).

CG says that unless we get them to cooperate and play nice when they are around each other, we won’t go on vacation because it’s not safe to leave them locked up with a petsitter coming and chance her getting hurt if they get out together.

If we cannot get them to cooperate by the week of the 20th, one of them is going to a foster home with the Humane Society because we’d rather see them happy apart then fighting together and it’s not fair to have one or the other locked up all the time.

Dammit this pisses me off. I don’t want to have to choose between the two. I love both of them equally and it’d be like cutting off an arm or a leg to lose one of them. They are both my babies and give me lots and lots of unconditonal love.

Dammit all! Damn that stupid outdoor cat who came into the yard and started all of this. If it weren’t for him (or her), this would’ve never happened and everybody’d be calm and happy together. Right now I am crying so hard I can barely see to type and it’s breaking my heart into a zillion little pieces to try and figure out which one I love the least because that’s the one who’s going to a foster home.

I mean, how does one choose between two equally loving cats who simply can no longer seem to get along? How to decide that one of them has to go, even if it’s for their own good? How do you look into that cute little orange/white face and those big sunny yellow eyes and say “I’m sorry…I love you but you have to leave the only home you’ve ever known?”:frowning:

I don’t know what’s going to happen or who (if anyone) is going to end up leaving. I only know right now my heart is broken into a zillion teeny little shards at the thought of losing one of my kitties.
IDBB

2

My heart goes out to you IDBB. You are faced with a difficult choice. I’d have to recommend that you place Rumpleteazer in a foster home. He is the one who has gone postal and there is no guarantee that you will ever be able to hope for him to get along with any other cat in the future. If you keep Buttercup, you’ll be able to have a second kitty in the house.

Face it, if you try to keep both of them, one of your cats is going to have a severely curtailed enjoyment of life. It is for the better that one of them is placed in another home. If you place Rumpleteazer, you’ll need to make sure the new owners know that he must be in a one-cat home.

Again, decisions like this are never simple. I had a father and son pair of dogs. I stupidly allowed a room mate to bring in her female dog and all Hell broke loose. My two dogs would fight at random and unpredictably. I was forced to send the younger one home with my brother who was visiting from Canada. I was rather unhappy with the outcome but at least Torbeorn (Thor’s bear) went to a happy home and had a good life.

I hope all goes well for you. You have my sympathies.

3

Zenster–though Rumpleteazer was the one who originally went postal on Buttercup’s ass, it’s now Buttercup who is attacking Rumpleteazer because she no longer trusts her.

We are going to make sure the Humane Society knows that whichever one ends up going MUST be a singleton for their own good.

Up until now…they’ve lived in relative harmony, with Buttercup only occassionally getting a swat across the face or butt from Rumpleteazer to remind her who is in charge.

I know it’s not an easy decision and for some reason, my husband has put the burden of deciding who goes and who stays, if it does indeed come to that and I can’t decide. It’s just too hard at the moment. :frowning:

IDBB

4

Um, why would they be attacking each other, just because of another cat?

First-are they indoors only? Are they fixed?

5

Guin–because we got them both from the HSUSA, they are both fixed and indoors only cats. Rumpleteazer saw another cat in our front yard through a CLOSED glass window and became extremely agitated, pawing at the glass, hissing, spitting, puffing up and wagging her tail in an almost violent fashion. When she couldn’t get to the other cat, she took her frustations out on the only other cat in the house, Buttercup who only attempted to defend herself.

Like I said…they are FINE when they are by themselves, but if you bring them together then all hell breaks loose. We’ve already had to take Buttercup to the vet this week because we tried to let them out together to see if they would tolerate each other and ended up with Buttercup getting injured because she attacked Rumpleteazer first.

IDBB

6

Deep breaths.

Another day or two is not going to make a huge difference. Allow each one of the cats full run of the house and gauge their behavior. Make a balance sheet if you need to. Base your decision on a well thought out agenda and not momentary impressions. You know your animals better than anyone else.

Since you like having multiple cats, I would make my decision based on that premise. Again, you have my sympathies. I’d sooner burn one of my guitars than give up one of my pets.

7

Zen–when we are home, one of them gets run of the house and the other gets locked up, for their own safety, since they can’t be out together without fighting. CG tried to let them out together to see what would happen this morning after I was gone but before he left for work and it only ended up with him getting pretty badly scratched up trying to seperate them when they began to fight.

IDBB

8

You can’t board the cats while you’re on vacation? I’m confused.

9

Zette–it’s cheaper for us to get a petsitter and the one we’re getting we’ve known and used for three years now. Besides, if we boarded them at a kennell or the vet’s, it might make the problem worse instead of better.

The thing is…we don’t want to have to keep them locked up while the sitter is there and possibly have one get out (they are tricky and fast little suckers!) and start a fight with the other and have the sitter get injured trying to seperate them.
IDBB

10

IDBB You have my sympathy. I’ve never had to deal with a situation of this kind, so I can only imagine the pain.

Maybe an animal behaviorist/psychologist/vet could advise you? I don’t know if animal psychology is quack medicine or not, I’ve never had to consult one. I hope you find a good resolution to this.

((IDBB, and family))

11

I would talk to an animal behaviourist (ask your vet for a recommendation) before giving one of the cats up. It may still be possible to get back your peaceful household.

12

Zabali–I’ve researched animal behavorists/therapists/what-have-you in our area and we simply cannot afford them right now. Too expensive. Otherwise I would in heartbeat.

IDBB

13

My two cents’ worth - if Rumpleteazer can’t tolerate seeing other cats outside, this won’t be the last time you have this problem. I’m afraid she might have to be the one to go. But man, does that ever suck. Neither Jim nor I have ever heard of cats acting in such a way once they got used to their housemate.

14

My cats do the exact same thing, IDBB. I still haven’t gotten a trap from animal control to capture the stray around my house, but when my cats see him they fight each other. It doesn’t happen every day, fortunately, but when it does, it’s inevitably really early in the morning or late at night. One of them pees on herself in fright. Fortunately, they’re slowly getting better and now they only fight for a few minutes afterward instead of hours.

I’m sorry, IDBB. I hope you can find a solution to allow them to live together.

15

Why not let them fight it out for the position of “Who Stays”?

16

featherlou–to my knowledge this is only the second time she’s come into any sort of contact with another cat from outside in three years’ time. The last time, her contact was limited (as was this one)and didn’t go ballistic (though it caused our previous alphacat Precious to go crazy to the point she had to be put down).
If I’d known the night it happened what I know now…I’d have simply shut the office door and let her do her thing and work ou t her agression in there instead of letting her into the living room.

We’ve talked about it and if it ends up that one of them does end up leaving, we’re pretty sure that Buttercup will go and Rumpleteazer will stay because we think Buttercup is more adoptable than Rumpleteazer.
Kwy–I suggested that to my husband, let them fight it out and they’ll get over their differences sooner but he’s not willing to do that.:frowning:
IDBB

17

:eek:

Hon, I was kidding!

18

This exact thing happened with my two, as well! They’re littermates, been together every day since birth, and suddenly two years ago they became sworn enemies. :frowning:

Fortunately we have a house that can be divided in half, and for a looooong time we had upstairs & downstairs cats. It took almost six months before we could trust them both loose at the same time – they still aren’t friendly, but it doesn’t go past hissing/random swipes now, instead of ‘intend to kill’ fights.

If you don’t have enough space to separate them for a long stretch, I think you’re right that you’ll have to give one of them up.

Here’s a thought on how to choose: assign one of them to heads, one to tails, and flip a coin. You’ll feel less guilty about having played favorites with your babies.

Good luck!

19

SbS–that’s kind of what we’re doing right now. One of them is locked in the spare bedroom with food, water, etc and the other one roams the house and at night we switch, hoping that will help ease tensions but it isn’t.

We talked about it more this morning before he left for work and it’s for sure if we cannot get this worked out, Buttercup will go because she is younger, more friendly and personable than Rumple and a heck of a lot cuter.

But also…since this happened, I’ve been doing a lot of praying to the Goddess and to Bastet, patron goddess of all things Feline, asking desperately for them to show me a way out of this because I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve asked that whatever is done is their will and not my own, since I know I go not by my own will but by Hers alone. I know whatever happens will be for the best for somebody, if not for me. Perhaps the Goddess has a better reason than I know for this happening.

I’m doing what I can, but ultimately, it’s in Her hands now.

IDBB

20

Oh, that’s just too bad. I have three kitties—all gotten at different times—and I just would hate to get rid of any of them. If I could make a suggestion—this is only a hunch----have you considered re-introducing them to each other, the way you’re supposed to introduce a new cat to the old cat? I did this with my kitties, and they get along now to the extent that they sleep together, play together, and frequently crowd me—en masse—off the sofa. They’re all indoor cats, and they frequently see stray cats through the screen windows, and except for hissing and spitting, they really don’t have much of a reaction at all.

I think when you get a new cat, you’re supposed to keep that one locked in a room while the old cat gets accustomed to its smell and presence. There’ll be some spats. My littlest cat, Molly—all five pounds of her—spent quite a lot of time hiding her first six months. It’s not a swift process. Now she just walks right up to the other two cats and either licks them or gives them a swat.

It’s not a fast process, though, and like I said, it’s just a hunch. But if I’m remembering correctly, you can’t switch back and forth. I wish I could offer something that was more helpful.