Seemingly inappropriate names

Not the Long Duck Dong variety, but names that somehow seem to be incongruous with the person…

When I was taking my Spanish course last year, I stayed with a family in Valladolid. The grandmother was a grumpy, frowsy old harridan who regularly screamed at everyone, and got in my face a number of times about very minor things that the rest of the family didn’t seem to have any problem with. She had quite a presence despite her habit of wearing a faded blue housedress at all times. Quite a piece of work. (THe rest of the family was lovely.)

Anyway, she introduced herself just as la abuela, and I didn’t find out her real name until I took a group photo of the family, and found out her name was … Tinita.

Yes, double diminutive cutesy teenage-girl name. Somehow, didn’t quite seem to go.


That’s funny. Keep in mind there was a whole generation of baby girls named Tiffany, Heather or Brittney. Picture them many years from now when they look like grandmothers.

I’m thinking Arnold (Ahnold) Swartzeneger (sp).

He is the complete opposite of the stereotype for the name “Arnold”.

Hmm. Guess he does look more like a ‘Bruno’.

A former neighbor had a sloppy, neurotic, lazy German shepherd named Debbie.

I was once introduced to two women who were talking together at an arts club meeting. One was tall, stocky, and red-haired; her name was Linnea Wong. The other was a petite Chinese lady named Esther Anderson. That one confused me for years.

And let’s face it: does ANYONE think Gibson looks like a “Melvin”??

a girl at a local high school had to drop out when she got pregnant. her name is chastity.

a client of my father’s name is ted hand. he only has one hand.

guess these are more ironic than anything else…:slight_smile:

I have a cousin who’s given name is Donald Major Quinlan III. From that name (which is what he actually puts on his business cards) you’d think this guy comes from a ritzy silver-spoon kind of family, must be a pansy-assed stockbroker or banker or something.

The reality? He washes cars and does odd-jobs for a living, running his own little home businesses. His wife works at a restaurant. They’re wonderful folks, have three kids and live largely from paycheck to paycheck - although they are pretty much debt free and happier than a lot of people I know.

Even more incongruous is the fact that he goes by the name “Donnie” and when you talk to him on the phone, his voice does not even come close to suggesting the 6’4", 260 pound, broad shouldered, bearded, solid muscle linebacker appearance he has.

Where did his name come from? Turns out that his mom and dad thought, for some reason, that by giving Donnie a “high class” name, he would automatically move in big circles. “Major” was also his grandfather’s name, but there’s no other “Donald Major Quinlans” around to make Donnie the ‘third’. He keeps the full name mostly as a joke nowadays.

He and his wife were a bit more down to earth with their kids. They’re named John, David and Stephany - no “Jr”, no “IV” and in fact, no middle names.

By then, they’ll probably be thought of as grandmother names.

My grandparents’ neighbors have a 100+ pound rottweiler named “Precious”


Then there’s the middle eastern potentate, Sultan Pepper…

Lenny Kravitz. My first impression is not of a funky black guitar-toting sexgod in leather bellbottoms:)

Cardinal Sin. He’s a catholic cardinal in the Philippines (I am not making this up.)

I am almost always baffled when I meet big, burly guys named Kevin or Jeff. For some reason, in my mind these names are skinny little blond boys.

To the best of my knowledge, I have never actually met a skinny little blond boy named either Kevin OR Jeff.

In this case, Mel is a complete name, not a shortening of Melvin.
His full name is Mel Columbcille Gerard Gibson. (Ain’t Google grand?)

Gerard is a common boy’s name in Ireland, Mel is a very common boy’s name in Longford, where I spent some of my formative years and Columbcille is a saint’s name and he must have been a pretty serous saint, beause he has had a diocese and an island named after him.

Does Mr MCG Gibson claim Irish ancestry?
Dunno, but with a handle like that, he most certainly could, if he so chose.

Back to the subject of inappropriate names, there was a report in the paper last week about a guy going to jail for posession of a shedload of heroin and his name was Innocent.
Not Mr Innocent, but Innocent O’Connor or something like that. Made me chortle, anyway

Just remember, Ethel, Maude, Hazel, etc., used to be cute teenager names.

Heh, about 10 years ago, I ran into a woman about my age who was named “Ethel.” First thing that popped into my head was, “Who the hell names their kids ‘Ethel’ anymore?” (I was in my mid-20s at the time.)

I had a cat named Phil.

Ok, not really on topic, but what makes a car-washer or odd-job man “manlier” than a banker or stockbroker? I ask because most of the brokers/traders I met are generally loud and agressive while most the car washers were skinny high-school dropouts.

I once knew someone named Latreen. Seriously.

Wasn’t that in Robin Hood: Men In Tights?

“Latreen… an interesting name. How did you come by it?”

“We changed it in the ninth century.”

“You changed it to latreen? But why?”

“It used to be Shithouse.”

“Oh… good change! That’s a good change!”