A hearty up-yours to the news media who (for lack of anything else to report on a holiday weekend) trumpet highway accidents/casualties, compelling law enforcement to come out in droves seeking to ticket everything in sight.
(fortunately the flashing lights in my rear-view mirror this morning were aimed at the poor slob just behind me)
Dear Barclay’s Bank;
You’ve been sending me 2-3 credit card offers per week since my bankruptcy five years ago. You can stop now.
If you haven’t figured it out, I am completely uninterested in your card. In fact, at this point I’m so fucking annoyed at your carpet bombing me with offers that, should Bill Gates, Warren Buffet AND Carlos Slim all leave me their billions tomorrow, I would go through each and every corporation they owned and ensure that NONE OF THEM WOULD EVER DO BUSINESS WITH YOU AGAIN.
I hope your fucking bank fails.
Facebook set the memorial page up pretty quickly, yay. In the meantime, one of my relatives (I assume an aunt) was logged in, responding to well-wishes as my grandma, as though she’s still alive.
I’m not offended, exactly, but what the fuck. These people obviously knew and cared about her, they deserve to know that she passed away. Don’t be creepy.
I got shampoo in my eye while I was showering. Ow. 
Or this one:
Friend: Wow. Last Saturday was horrible. That new shopping mall was mobbed. We should have went downtown instead.
Monty: Did you just say “Should have went”?
F.: Yeah, so?
M.: You’re an English teacher! I hope you’re not saying that in front of your students.
Start walking acrosst their hood 
I’m glad this lady I had to talk to from another company’s Accounts Receivable (I’m the client) got her snack all squared away while on the phone.
crunch crunch Really.
I had to be to work early this morning, so I tried to go to bed early last night. Tried being the important word here.
I’m in bed, tossing and turning, and finally just start to drift off when I hear it.
Beep
?
Did I actually hear that or was I asleep for a minute and dreaming it?
I start to drift off again. About fifteen minutes later…
Beep
OK, what the hell is that? I check my phone, even though my phone has never made that noise. Not my phone. By this time the cat realizes I’m awake and wants to play. I’m laying there petting him and I hear it again.
Beep
This time I know I’m awake and not dreaming, so I get up and start looking around for the source of the noise. I don’t have that many things in my bedroom that are even capable of beeping.
Beep
It’s coming from my closet. I open the closet door. Verizon FIOS box on the wall has a big red light on that wasn’t there before. It’s the low battery light. I don’t have my glasses on so I have to lean in for a closer look to see what’s up. I’m about an inch from the box reading the tiny print on the labels…
BEEP
If I wasn’t awake by then I am for sure now.
Ah, here we go, “Silence Alarm” button. I push it, the box makes a shorter and quieter beep. I go back to bed, start to fall asleep again…
Beep
WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK??
I jump back out of bed, throw the closet door open, and yank the door open on the FIOS box. I disconnect the battery and then plug it back in. Low battery light goes off. No more beeping.
Now it’s an hour and a half after I tried to go to bed early. Should’ve just stayed up. 5am came very early this morning. Damn FIOS box.
Mom is a very sharp person indeed…she is just getting a bit older and doesn’t want to be bothered with computer problems.
So, some years back I introduced her to computers via an iMac, augmented by an iPad.
I got an email from her yesterday that had an urgent tone, saying that her computer had gone weird and popped up a message telling her to call tech support at the number provided.
. . .
She had called the number
She said spoke with a very friendly gentleman who instructed her how to let him run diagnostic software on her machine :mad::mad:
After letting him have the run of her machine, she balked when he said it would be a challenging fix, and would cost about $400. She told him she had to discuss it with her son first.
I don’t speak with her that frequently, but when I saw that email I called her immediately and said “Mom! Unplug your computer right now!”
She is shipping it to me from the left coast so I can wipe it clean and put things back in order.
It’s people like that guy that make it so we can’t have nice things.
I hate that. It’s a weird sound that comes from a place that you have no idea what could be beeping there.
Fortunately the replacement batteries are not freakishly expensive and can be found on Amazon and other places.
Oh jeez. And then the weirdo volunteer who I can’t stand decided to visit the cat in my office, making this disgusting sucking sound, loudly, over and over. Please let me punch him in the neck. Normal people make kissing sounds, or clicks/trills to “talk” to cats. Not this knucklehead. I do my best to ignore him, but I’m whacking him with my coffee mug in my mind.
So far, September isn’t any better than August was. Or any month prior to that this year.
Crap that has happened so far this year, up to yesterday:
I had shoulder surgery and a rough recovery.
A friend had foot surgery (but it didn’t help her).
Cat had surgery
Mom had 2nd breast cancer surgery.
Neighbors/friends had surgery.
Two neighbors/friends died.
A family member and a colleague have both been diagnosed with advanced, inoperative pancreatic cancer.
Cousin just had surgery.
My fallen arches have led to painful, bilateral Achilles tendonitis. Trying to get the swelling down so it doesn’t rupture and lead to MORE FUCKING SURGERY.
I’m throwing a birthday bash (my 50th) next week but I don’t think I can dance.
Actually, I’m now at the point where I can hardly even react or get upset anymore.
Congrats, Portland, for being number 188 on the safe-driving list of the 200 largest cities in America. I can attest that it should probably be lower than that. After having had 48 years without an accident, I was clipped in the parking lot of a local grocery store, and had my mirror taken off while parked on the street in front of a restaurant. We’re also ranked 48th or 49th of 50 states in high school graduates. Any correlation? Every time we have to drive somewhere, it’s like participating in a demolition derby. It must be the incessant pressure to be “Portland nice” that causes people to be so aggressive behind the wheel.
I was watching ESPN Sportscenter tonight. One of the anchors was talking about Temple’s upset of Penn State in football. He noted that the last time Temple had beaten P.S.U. was in October 1941, “two years before the U.S. entered World War II”.
♩♪ “Don’t know much about history…” ♫
Grammar isn’t my strong suit, what’s the problem here?
Edited to add: Never mind, I googled it, then gave up when it started talking about past participles. I’ll take their word for it.
Nominated for Understatement Of The Week award.
Creepers who stalk people to other boards. Wow.
(Referring to another thread here in the Pit.)
I’m going to have to get all devils-advocate here - the way I heard it was, that an SDMB member was already active on that other board, so when an OP over there using the same name as on the SDMB posted the same story, they didn’t even have to add to put two and two together to work it out.
Yes, you’re probably right. I don’t really know what to think of the whole mess.
Lucky you. Nails on a chalkboard.