WhyNot,
To your list of things which make pregnant women fretful over the damage they might be doing to their unborn babies, I think you need to add something about the degree to which we(society, pregnant women, or even those in the medical profession) know more about what should happen in a normal pregnancy and what may happen if something is wrong and sometimes how to fix things that go wrong, but we still have a lot of things that don’t have clear cause and effects.
For example, my sister-in-law, the first time she was pregnant, had her labor induced rather than go past the due date. Why? Because her (word I can’t spell beginning with ob) doesn’t like to let babies go past their due dates. Why? I don’t know, but it sounded to me more like a preferrence than a choice based on actual risks to either baby or mom. And she’s not the only one I know who had the end of her pregnancy watched awfully closely, for a variety of ill-defined reasons.
{of course, given that I’ve never been pregnant, what do I know? Maybe there are good reasons. But it seems to me that pregnant women today can find out all too easily all of the things that could adversely affect their babies, as well as all the things they shoulddo to make sure they have a healthy baby, and there are still a lot of things that can not be predicted as to why babies turn out the way they do. }
Eureka, you’re right, I think that is another source of anxiety. There is a growing idea that if we do everything “right” we’ll get a perfect pregnancy and perfect baby every time. And, unfortunately, it just ain’t so. But I think it’s a natural mother reaction, when faced with what feels like a know-everything medical profession, that it must be our fault if something goes wrong.
To which I say Bull and shit. A large percentage of fetal problems are genetic or caused by we-don’t-know-what. It doesn’t matter one whit what you do, if the cells that are supposed to switch on to grow an arm don’t switch on, the baby will be missing an arm. If an enzyme is missing to digest phenyal…damn…nutrasweet, than the baby will have to be an a special protein restricted diet. But your eating nutrasweet, your sleeping on your belly, your taking hot showers or being in the hot tub after your first trimester will do nothing one way or the other.
Remember:
eat well (talk with your doctor to get a diet plan if you don’t know what “well” means - in a nutshell, whole grains, fresh veggies and fruits and a minimal amount of processed food.)
get good sleep
don’t smoke (I’ll add “or take drugs - perscription, over the counter or recreational - without the consent of your doctor” as well)
Pretty much everything else is common sense, intuition and guesswork.
You’re a wealth of information! I think we need a pregnancy myths and tips thread. Lots of good stuff here!
I was also worried about sleeping flat on my back. The books made it sound like you would completely deprive the uterus of blood. Of course, despite a million pillows and falling asleep on my side every night, every time I wake up, I’m flat on my back. I finally mentioned it to my OB at my last visit, and he laughed. He said lying flat on your back will make some women hypotensive (reduce blood pressure). He said only in a small percentage of women would this effect them in any way, and the best thing to do is roll on your side for a couple minutes before getting out of bed so that you don’t become faint. All that worrying for nothing!
I wish someone had told me that it’s normal to have your hair and skin suddenly turn to crap, that few people gain weight in the prescribed way (I gained way too much in the first trimester trying to stave off morning sickness, and not enough in the second thus far), to expect unpleasant infections, etc. Everytime I read something describing pregnancy as wonderful & beautiful, I wonder how many other woman are reading that and wondering what the heck is wrong with them because they’re not having fun projectile vomiting for three continuous months, having insomnia and assorted aches and pains. I think these “beautiful, wonderful pregnancies” are few and far between.
Now if I could just stop worrying about stuff I did before I knew I was pregnant!
fingers itching desparately, despite trying to avoid hijacking this thread completely as if she were some sort of expert
Well, how “far before you knew” are we talking about? That first two weeks before you miss a period are (don’t spread this around or anything) pretty much a free pass. Not entirely, but pretty much. That’s because the zygote hasn’t implanted yet, so the “baby” isn’t sharing any blood systems with the mother. Obviously, there are some drugs that can have an impact on the intrauterine enviornment at that time, or there’d be no morning-after pills. But these are very few and far between. What’s more, they don’t affect the zygote, they just cause the uterus to expel the zygote. If it didn’t make you miscarry, it probably didn’t harm anything. Again, there are a few exceptions, mostly prescription meds, so check with your doctor. Everyday legal things? No problem. That night of tequila with the girls? That didn’t do anything. The joint with you boyfriend which lead to the conception? Didn’t do a thing. Those cigarettes you couldn’t quite kick? Not a big deal, just quit now (unless your doc says otherwise) - smoking’s more of a big deal the farther along you are.
And if you didn’t know until later, just be as cool as you can and realize that well, whatever happened has already happened. Trust your body and you baby’s body and remember that statisics are entirely in your favor.
I knew very early - ten days after conception (well before I was expecting a period - I just had a feeling I should test). You’ve mentioned the thing(s) I was most concerned about. Of course, I quit smoking, etc. the second I suspected I was pregnant (the day I tested). The other worrisome thing I did was have a very hot (almost not tolerable) bath. I remember feeling dizzy, faint, nauseated. Nothing I can do about it now, though.
I know ultrasound doesn’t show everything, but I’m hoping mine (next week) eases my mind a bit.
I just want to add one thing. Cocoa butter doesn’t do a damn thing no matter what anyone says. I always hated whenever anyone told me to use some to prevent my stretchmarks. You’d be amazed at how often it was a man saying it.
WhyNot and Eureka , thanks for putting things into perspective. I feel much calmer now.
Cyros , I agree with you. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this time because it goes by so quickly…and all I keep thinking is, “Good God when is it going to be over??” I keep waiting for the clouds to part and the cherubs and birds to come in singing, but it ain’t happening! Despite the fact that I’m in my 2nd trimester, everything I eat still makes me either nauseous or gives me the worst case of indigestion I’ve ever had (except for grapefruit for some odd reason). My back aches. My skin looks like caca. I’m fat. I’m crabby. I cry at stupid commercials. So far it’s been less than glorious…Hopefully when the baby starts kicking I will feel better.
ShadiRoxan , another Doper suggested Vitamin E oil for stretch marks. So I’ve been putting that on everyday…and well…I feel a bit oily. I’ll let you know how it works!
The second trimester is when my puking began, but I can’t do anything normally.
You should probably be getting your ultrasound soon. That’s when all the fun begins. If you find out what you’re having you can start shopping. I loved looking through baby things.
I remember at the time it felt like everything was slowly creeping along, but looking back on it everything just flew by. Now my son is 5 weeks old and I wish everything would just slow down.
I am not alone! Quite honestly, the experience has been miserable enough that even if we were financially able and wanted another child, I don’t know that I could do this again.
The morning sickness has definitely improved (I no longer need to take prescription meds), but now I can’t sleep for more than an hour at a time. I have to pee far more often in the second trimester than I ever did in the first. Everything hurts. I can suddenly start bawling like my dog just died and have no clue what I am crying about. And pain. Nobody told me I’d have periodic stabbing pain in my cervix, in addition to so-called “discomfort” from stretching ligaments and such. Or that I’d have one infection after another (of various sorts). And I’ve been told my sinuses should clear up after I deliver. Yay. Only 5 more months of stuffiness.
And I feel guilty for not jumping up and down for joy. Happy about the baby, not thrilled with pregnancy. Looking forward to (and also worried about) the ultrasound. Won’t be finding out what flavour we’re having as it’s against policy in my province :rolleyes:
So it sounds like I’m not the only one not having a magical experience. I wouldn’t wish for other people to feel like this, but knowing I’m not alone is comforting.
Oh Cyros , you are definitely not alone! I think the guilt is the worst… I feel terrible because I’m not skipping for joy. I’m excited about the baby, but being pregnant sucks rotten, stinky, 7 year old eggs that have been left in the sofa during a long forgotten Easter egg hunt if you ask me…And I find the whole thing to be quite scary most of the time. There is so much happening with your body - the hormones, the pains, the stuffiness, nausea - not to mention the fact that you look in the mirror and see a completely different person (and she’s huge). It’s all a little disconcerting.
I’m going to be having my ultrasound soon too…Are you not going to find out the sex? (Aw, is your hubby against it?) I was thinking of waiting so I could be surprised, but then I remembered I loathe surprises. I think I’m having a boy, but I’ll be happy either way. I’m hoping that once I know it will make everything I’m gong through seem less surreal - and then maybe I can get into it more. Here’s hoping!
I’m sorry you’re more prone to infections. Why is that? (Glad your nausea is better though!) As for me, I’m keeping the Tums people in business…
heh. I knew the pregnancy hormones had made me insane when we rented Naked Gun and I cried the whole way through it. It just struck me as incredibly sad and pathetic that anyone would have to suffer all the trouble that Frank Drebin did and that he could never catch a break and have things go well.
:smack:
My family decided I was best avoided for the next few months after that.
We don’t have the option of knowing. Provincial policy. Among other things, they have decided ultrasound technicians are not qualified to determine gender. A radiologist is, but s/he must be present in the room (which won’t happen unless there’s a problem). Even if a radiologist is in the room, s/he is not permitted to go searching around to find out what gender the baby is, since this is apparently a “waste of time and resources” because that information is not medically necessary (in most cases).
We both want to know. Badly.
Well, pregnant women in general get certain infections because of the extra hormones floating around in your system. In addition to that, some are blessed to have urinary tract infections. The treatment for a UTI is antibiotics, which quite frequently brings you right back to the other kind of infection. Lovely.
It works for some people. I didn’t use cocoa butter, but vitamin E oil and I have not one stretch mark. And ftr, I got huge with my daughter. I looked like I was smuggling a watermelon. And I have many friends who also swear by their vitamin E.
I’m sorry if you got them, but if there’s a chance that cocoa butter or vitamin E can help some women, then they ought to give it a try. After all, it doesn’t hurt anything.
