And with this, ladies and gentlemen, I scrape the bottom of the barrel of both the mundane and the pointless.
I’ll try my best to keep things concise. I just graduated high school in June, and with that came the realization that I would never see a certain girl in my class ever again, whom I was never even brave enough to talk to in the first place. Boo hoo, end of story, right?
Not exactly. In my state of regretful limerence I decided to draw a portrait of her, using her yearbook photo as a guide. I’m confident with my drawing abilities, and I can assure you that the portrait turned out pretty damned well. Anyway, I thought it would be interesting to send it to her, just for the hell of it, paying homage to Napoleon Dynamite. For those of you shaking your head and thinking, “Why do such a thing?” - I suppose I just want her to acknowledge me once before we never cross paths again, because that would make me feel very good, and maybe even give me a shot of confidence.
I tried to get a friend to finagle her address, to no avail, so just mailing it is out of the question. As of now my best bet would be to make a Facebook and contact her directly, showing her a scan of the portrait and asking whether she would like the original or whether I should just throw it out. But there’s one thing holding me back: it’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I tried to imagine myself in her shoes, and what I would think if I was sent a detailed portrait of myself by someone whom I knew close to nothing about, and for no apparent reason. Considering the quality of the drawing, I know she’d like it, but I’m afraid I would also come off as a little spooky and skeevy.
So now is the time for your opinions. Is my reticence justified or should I just go ahead with it? You are also free to make fun of me as much as you want, I already know this is a stupid topic.
Do you have any interest in drawing your other classmates? I’d think drawing a set of graduation portraits to remember your friends by is less likely to be misconstrued as creepy-weird than if you single this one girl out.
I know… the curiosity is killing me, but I know it’ll probably just end up with me walking away red-faced, chin buried in my chest.
I don’t care what anyone else thinks, I just care what she thinks. Immature and irrational, I know, but logic just can’t compete with the magical, topsy-turvy world in your head where certain people’s opinions matter, at least at my age.
It took me like three hours to finish the shading on her upper lip!
Do not send it to her. Promise yourself that the next time you want to talk to a girl, you’ll do it. Look at the portrait so you can be reminded of what happens if you don’t.
Every time you fail to muster the courage to talk to a girl, draw a portrait of her. Show your collection of portraits to prospective girlfriends. They won’t be able to resist you!
Don’t send it. More than likely she’ll think it’s slightly creepy, or feel embarrassed (it’s a highly personal thing, and it will be clear how much time you’ve spent on this, time which I’d bet she’s never spent thinking about you) - and will give you no response. So you’ll still be wondering, and with an uneasy feeling that you’ve stuffed up. Not sure how this would assist with your confidence. Chalk this one up to experience, and just talk to the next girl instead
I’m definitely not one to offer advice about how to *win *in this scenario, but I DO know how to lose, and sending her the pic is one of the ways to lose. You’re WAY better off trying to find a way to contact her through normal means (in person, phone, text if you have to) and asking her if she’d like to have lunch sometime. Lunch is good because it’s daytime and public and even if she has some worries, it’s pretty safe, so it’s a good icebreaker.
Another thing, kind of related, but more having to do with the art aspect; I was an Art Director for 8 years; send me a scan or photo of your pic and if I think it’s send-worthy I’ll tell you, but three hours on the upper lip…? Don’t take this badly, I hope, but you probably are more of an illustrator than a fine artist, right? When fine artists go to an art museum, they tend to stand back and look at a painting and after a while, they comment on something about it, but illustrators tend to go up close and right away ask, “How did they DO this?” I don’t know if you intend to be a professional artist eventually or not, but you need to know how to finish an upper lip in about 4 minutes at most, assuming a moustache is involved. Maybe more if it’s full-color, but even then, not more than ten minutes.
Look, if you’re trying to get her attention and admiration for your talent, just send her a drawing of something else–something you have in common, like a place in the community or on campus, or the school mascot…whatever. But no matter what she looks like, and no matter how good the drawing of her is, she’ll see it and think you’re emphasizing her worst features, and hate you for it.
Send it with a note saying "The Voices told me you would like this. It’s a sketch of your yearbook photo - how you [del]looked before the accident[/del] look so lovely. I will be seeing you soon.
Well, maybe not. I would think twice about sending it. I think the advice upthread about keeping it as a reminder of lost opportunities is a better thing to do.
Okay, I actually had a similar situation when I was getting ready to leave for college. I had a MAJOR crush on a girl I was working with in a restaurant. At one point I bought her a souvenir from Florida and she bought me a book of poetry (yeah, I know, shut up) and when I finally left I wrote her a note saying something like “I have really enjoyed my time with you, and hope I can find someone at least half as amazing as you when I go to college.” Yes, I actually did that. The result? She read it, cried, and the next time I saw her it was maybe a year later, and a little awkward, and she hugged me but she had moved on. In other words, I went about it all wrong. She KNEW I liked her, I know that for sure, but I never actually asked her out. This is a recurring theme in my life, so I know of that which I write. If you really like her, here’s something you can try, if you’re too shy to just ask her out:
Ask her if she’d like a portrait done, and if she’d be willing to meet for lunch or coffee or whatever while you draw her. Make conversation while you draw, and when you’re done, give her the portrait. If, at that point, she acts flattered and receptive at all, ask her if she’d like to hang out sometime, maybe go for a hike if you have a park nearby or something. Just go for something pretty safe and innocent, if you ask her to a Marilyn Manson concert she’s going to be expecting roofies or something. Here’s a songwith good advice that I myself am trying to follow.
Please don’t send it, it’s going to come across as creepy as hell. She’s going to look at it and say “oh my god, this guy has been sitting at home staring at my picture doing god knows what.”
Take this as a learning experience regarding missed opportunities and move on.
Thanks for the replies. I’m doing as lezlers and a couple others have said - just discarding it (I’d feel weird to keep it) and reminding myself never to make the same mistake again. I’m still a youngin.
And I love Cuckoorex’s first post. “Three hours on the upper lip?! What’s wrong with this kid…” As to his most recent post, I appreciate the advice, but I’ve concluded that contacting her in any way, shape or form would be weird. So that’s all, folks.
Although this could work too…
But thanks again to everyone for the reality check. See you around.
Go ahead and look her up on Facebook and send a friend request. She’ll probably accept; after all, you went to high school together.
Don’t flood her with messages. No stalking. Just write something like, “Thanks for accepting, even thought we didn’t talk much in school. How’s your summer going?” This might lead to a pleasant on-line conversation (but it might not). That might lead to grabbing coffee together one day (but it might not). That might lead to going on a dinner-and-a-movie date (but it might not). That might lead to a steady romantic relationship (but it might not).
If – and only if – all of the above happens, after about three months, you can show her the portrait and say “I drew this from your yearbook picture.” Don’t tell her when you drew it.
That’s about the only way I can think of to show her your drawing without creeping her out.
