Sending a suggestive (but useful!) product to school w/ my kid

[Unauthorized_Cinnamon]

I’m a rational person. I’m an adult. I am not a giggly twelve year old anymore. I can do this. I *will *be able to make eye contact with the kindergarten teacher.

My kid likes to bring a banana for a snack at school, and she’s required to pack it in the outside pocket of her bag. There it gets mushed, bruised, and rendered inedible. I’ve tried packing the fruit in a sports bottle, but the curvature of the banana can be too great, depending on what shape bananas the store had that week.

So I am buying her a banana bunker.

Stop laughing! It’s an ingenious design - it even lets you adjust for differently angled bananas.

OK, now go to the online store where I bought it and read the FAQ, and start laughing again. Snigger like a fifth grader looking up “vagina” in the dictionary. Go ahead. You know you want to.

[Infovore]

Q: Can it be used for sexual pleasure?
A: You could probably use a fax machine for sexual pleasure if you put your mind to it, so we don’t doubt that you could do it with the Banana Bunker. We don’t recommend it, though.

I love it! There’s a compeny that has fun with their products.

[Cat_Fight]

I almost bought one of these for my mother, who has the same problem with mushy fruit. I just couldn’t. Just wrapping it would have squicked me out.

[teela_brown]

Why does she have to pack it on the outside pocket of her bag?

Those Banana Bunkers are very cute, BTW.

[Unauthorized_Cinnamon]

@teela brown

Why does she have to pack it on the outside pocket of her bag?

My understanding is they don’t want to rifle through every kid’s backpack in search of snacks that may be as small as a mini box of raisins. And I’m guessing having 20 5-year-olds do their own rifling would probably use up much of snack time as well.

[NurseCarmen]

$4.99!?!?! I’m pretty sure I saw one for sale in a truck stop restroom for only a quarter!

[Celyn]

@Unauthorized Cinnamon

… There it gets mushed, bruised, and rendered inedible. …

And if you somehow fail to eat it and leave it squashed at the bottom of your schoolbag for, oh about a week, it becomes **very **horrible.

It looks like a great idea. And a fun website.

[Flander]

That’s the best FAQ ever! They forgot one EXTREMELY important question…
Will it work with my banana phone?

[Kalhoun]

I wonder if your banana will get sweaty all cooped up in there. If not, awesome invention!

[Projammer]

@Unauthorized Cinnamon

I’m a rational person. I’m an adult. I am not a giggly twelve year old anymore. I can do this. I *will *be able to make eye contact with the kindergarten teacher.

Just so you know there are alternatives such as the Banana Guard.

Available in many stylish colors including…

Ravishing Red
Passionate Purple
and the ever popular
Pretty in Pink

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

[Harriet_the_Spry]

The Banana Guard even has a feature to prevent premature ripening! [snerk]

[MissMossie]

@Banana Guard FAQ

Q: “Is there a battery attachment?”

A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.

Yeah, they definitely know what the product looks like.

[DMark]

I understand Trojan makes a nice, tight-fitting bag to put your banana bunker in, so that if you drop it, it won’t spew banana cream everywhere.

[ToeJam]

I was NOT expecting that imagery/product design when I started to read this thread.

Very amusing, and totally brought a smile and a laugh to my Day. Thanks!

…man, you’re right, I can’t stop giggling when I think about the product…

[lizardling]

click

…

HOWL Oh man, that’s the best thing I’ve seen today.

[Sigmagirl]

The Banana Bunker looks a little more flexible; I think the Banana Guard looks as if a banana not precisely the right size and shape will not fit. I can see people taking their Banana Guards to the grocery store and casting aside misshapen bananas, to the ire of the produce clerks.

I think I’ve found my boss’s birthday present. She eats a banana every day. Now what color?

[teela_brown]

@Unauthorized Cinnamon

My understanding is they don’t want to rifle through every kid’s backpack in search of snacks that may be as small as a mini box of raisins. And I’m guessing having 20 5-year-olds do their own rifling would probably use up much of snack time as well.

::whimper::

I only learn to ask more questions. Why are they rifling through kids’ stuff in search of snacks? Let 'em pack their own snacks!

This is what happens when you don’t have kids. Everything that’s self-evident to parents is a mystery to you.

[BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]

I don’t get why it couldn’t bend and smush a banana anyway. Is the flexible part difficult to flex? Does it lock in place once the top half is connected? I’m confused.

[Kythereia]

picks self up off floor That’s awesome.

(I have no idea if your kid’s going to be the most popular or the most unpopular kid in school right now. I obviously hope for the former, but I’m not sure what that’ll mean…)

[Boyo_Jim]

This is about the most dumb-ass school rule I’ve ever heard of. You have to put your kid’s food in outside pockets so they don’t have to search the bags for unauthorized food?

Do they understand how completely idiotic that is?

Alsmost as dumb as a job ad I saw the other day saying a successful candidate will need to provide a certification that they have successfully passed a criminal background check. Saves the company money I guess – Brilliant!

Oh yeah, and I suggest you clean that thing OFTEN! THOROUGHLY!