I hate bad parkers, but I do have to say that when we first got our van it was damn hard to park until I got used to it. I did my share of crappy parking jobs (you can only back in and out so many times before it just isn’t worth it any more) before I got the hang of parking The Beast.
Hey, y’know, my brother’s old '72 Suburban (an ugly yellow thing, by all accounts) was called The Beast. It’s long gone, though… he lent it to someone, and that someone promptly got drunk and lost the car out in the middle of the Lancaster desert.
Anyway, back when I used to drive my mom’s Expedition, I had no qualms about parking farther away from the store. Oh, horrors, another fifty feet to walk. And, as far as I’m concerned, only assholes try to part a non-compact car into a compact parking spot 
Well mostly I parked at my own house (assigned parking) so it’s not like I had a big choice on where to do it.
Typical response of someone who’s realized he’s in the wrong. (1) Confuse the issues; (2) Call the person who proved you wrong a moron.
Kind of reminds me of SUV drivers, cutting me off then giving me the “bird” for getting in the way of their Silly Useless Vehicle ™.
Wait until you get your Learners’ Permit and then let’s talk, ok?
I went to Quartz Hill High.
Okay, fatherjohn, how do you feel about non-SUV drivers who cut you off and then flip you off for getting in the way?
Um … you do realize that the Ford Explorer itself didn’t decide to tailgate you, right? It was the person driving the vehicle that was tailgating.
Is it any worse that a person driving a Ford Explorer decided to tailgate you, rather than, say, the driver of a Geo Metro? Or a Toyota Sienna? Or a Dodge Ram pickup?
And that, my ignorant non-friend, is the typical response of someone who doesn’t have anything to bring to the argument.
Clearly, you could not find an issue if I beat you over the head with it. Your statement had absolutely no bearing on the issue at hand. I called you on it. And you want to play the messiah here? You should go back to the ward, the lobotomy didn’t take.
Firstly, you almost sentient sphincter polyp, I am not wrong. Prove to me that I am. Show me, you pecker track. Secondly, I don’t drive an SUV. I drive a truck. One that I use for hauling things. Today, I have a transmission in the back, which I would be more than happy to drop on your head from a tall building to knock some sense into you. I might have to drop it twice, though, and it’s heavy to carry up stairs, so we’ll skip that in favor of simply berating you in every thread you post until you go away crying, with your tail between your legs, whimpering like the stupid little bitch that you are.
Your ignorance amazes me. You demonstrate a level of stpidity I’ve only seen before in planarian worms. The ones I cut in half during a science project to see if they’d regenerate. Specifically, the ones I bisected through the brain. You should know what I’m talking about here. Find yourself walking in circles frequently?
Do us all a favor and nail your head to a fucking oak tree in the forest. The tree might be interested in listening to you. I doubt that anyone else here is.
My everyday car is a 4 door sedan…and it’s very heavy for a sedan—2 tons. I like it that way. That’s why I bought it.
Mass = safety. Really. Sure, at the extremes of the spectrum there may be discrepancies, but I’ll limit my incendiary generalities to passenger vehicles. This is my justification for having my wife drive a big honkin’ SUV: It’s safer—for her. Not someone else—her. I don’t think this is (rationally) debatable.
If I have the choice between 1)distributing all injuries equally among everyone involved in an accident, and 2)having my wife and child receive fewer/less severe injuries, even if that means others have more/more serious injuries, um…sorry, but the Jingo Family wins. Note that I don’t wish injury on anyone. I don’t want anyone to be injured. Really. But, statistically, it’s gonna happen.
Both of the family vehicles get crummy gas mileage. I know. I knew that when I bought them. You don’t want me to burn more than my share of fossil fuels? Impose a People-Who-Don’t-REALLY-Need-A-SUV-But-Drive-One-Anyway Tax. Double my cost-per-gallon. I’ll still pay it. If my family’s safety costs me a great many dollars…so what—they’re only dollars.
It seems to me that people are bothered by that idea: If it costs lots and lots of money to make my family safer, I’ll spend lots and lots of money. You don’t have to. I will. Why is this seen as evil?
To avoid unmitigated flame damage, I’ll add some caveats:
Mrs. Jingo is an extremely alert, conscientious and polite driver…courteous to a fault, if you ask me. She only parks where she fits, as do I when I drive the Suburban—if that means a longer walk, so be it.
Safety isn’t the only reason we have an SUV…We love to shore fish on the Outer Banks, where a big 4x4 is necessary for access. Both of our parents live in oft-snowed-in areas of the Appalachians, and winter access is easier/more reliable in a big SUV. With a wee one, and another planned, we’ll be travelling with not only children, but also all their accoutrements. If I have to tow a horse trailer, I can.
“Honey, I think there’s a Miata stuck in the grille.”
In retrospect, that last post of mine was more a justification with reasoning than a rant. Sorry about that. It’s more GD or IMHO material than pit-worthy. I’ll be more careful in the future.
In the interim, please go back and re-read my previous post, mentally substituting all periods at the ends of sentences with the words “So, Fuck You!”
Thank you, and Goodnight.
(So, Fuck You!)
[sarcasm]
I don’t care if you say you’re a good drive, Jingo. If you drive an SUV, you must automatically be a bad driver, since Ford and Chevy and GM attach a Bad Driver device to the steering columns that beam Bad Driver Vibes directly to your brain.
I, on the other hand, am a perfect driver, because I don’t drive an SUV. I’ll be seated with Moses in heaven, while you’ll be relegated to the burning depths of Hell.
Oh, and you must be wrong, too, because all SUV’s have an Acme Wrongmaker installed in the seat, and everyone who sits on one is automatically made wrong.
[/sarcasm]
1: “Of people killed in cars last year, 22 percent were killed in rollovers. But in SUVs, 62 percent of the deaths involved rollovers.”
Source: http://www.msnbc.com/news/480570.asp?cp1=1
- It’s nice that your dad lets you use his truck now and then.
Of course, I don’t expect a reasoned response. The facts plainly show you’re in the wrong, so your only option is to talk about sphincters and lobotomies and stuff.
Have fun!
Hello, stupid. Good to have you back. You’re still confusing the issue. Worse yet, you’re showing off that you’re stupid by continuing to not understand what you’re talking about. Let me help you.
Your buddy ITR champion said:
I told him he was a moron for that. The tires explode because they’re defective. They didn’t explode cause they’re on the interstate, they didn’t explode cause they’re on an SUV. They didn’t explode because they realized they were smarter than you and yet doomed to a life of servitude. They were defective, like your logic cycle.
You come in, and say:
See, Ass Goblin, your point had nothing to do with the argument at hand. Let me analogize for you. Your intrusion, because that’s really what it was, was the equivalent of making a conversation go this way:
Ad nauseum. Do you get the picture here, Squicky? (You’re in the lead, over Cartooniverse by a long shot.)
Of course he lets me use it, I have to get over to your mom’s house to assfuck her, don’t I? You’re talking like a boy with a paper asshole running through a brush fire, sonny boy.
What facts? Where have you brought one iota of value to the discussion, champ? I have presented the fact that you jumped into a pitfight asshole first (one that you hadn’t a clue what it was about I might add), and didn’t like when someone sewed it shut on you.
Even the Sweet Mother of the Invisible Pink Unicorn would have trampled your stupid head into the ground if given the chance.
Good day, and I hope your next rental car is a Ford Explorer. With a bomb in it.
Oh, thanks for reminding me, fatherjohn! The Acme Wrongmaker also makes people incapable of making a reasoned response.
(I’d insert a rolleyes smiley here, but in order to convey the message accurately, my eyes would have to be the size of Jupiter each, so I’ll simply refrain from doing so and just wait for John’s next load of cum-soaked shit to leak out of that rectum he calls a mouth)
I live in Alabama, so we have our fair share of SUVs and pick-em-up trucks on the roadways.
The vast majority of SUVs that I see are the smaller varieties – Nissan Pathfinders, Ford Explorers, Toyota 4Runners, etc. All of these are about the same size as a pickup. They may be slightly longer than the average family sedan, but not by much. The behemoths that seem to get people frothing – the Ford Excursions, the Lincoln Navigators, etc. – are fairly rare.
Do SUV haters not have a lot of pickups on the roads where they live? I’m not clear on why SUVs are singled out, when pickups seem to have many of the same characteristics as SUVs (same general size, same height, etc.).
SUVs are prevalent in Alabama, but folks don’t seem to take much notice of them here. I guess we’ve just been accustomed to pickups for a long time.
fatherjohn said:
That’s very interesting. Even more so is the link to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety and Highway Loss Data Center which is provided right there in the article.. Have you looked at the data? Please do so before further posting. Look at all the data. Compare and Contrast. Think.
You’ll find that, overall, SUVs are safer. That’s our point!
But, of course, this is the Pit, so stop presenting valid arguments! Particularly arguments for the other side! Sheesh!
SPOOFE: I thought I felt the wheel trying to pull me into oncoming traffic!
And when you’re sitting in heaven ask Moses what he drives…I’ve got him pegged as a Land Rover Defender type.
And, additionally, “So, Fuck You!”
Conversation as imagined by Mr. Cynical
Geez - do you realize how long it is going to take me to clean off all the coffee I sprayed all over my monitor laughing at this? Funniest series of insults I’ve heard in a long time.
I’m tempted to piss of Mr. Cynical on purpose to get some more… 
Mr. C is indeed in fine form. I’ve been reading this thread and laughing my ass off! Good show, Cyn!
(sits back on the beanbag chair to watch…)
:rolleyes:
whatever
By the by, this web cite is great:
it exposes SUV drivers for what they “really” are.
WOW!!! GREAT COMEBACK!!! Ol’ 'John, once again you’ve astounded your audience!!
However, I think YOU said it best…
Anyway…
Well, I don’t expect you to have a vocabulary large enough to take up ten bytes in a hard drive, but the sixth word on that page is “satire”. Here’s your lesson for the day… go look up that word.
You see, Ol’ 'John, you are a fool. A moron. A buffoon. An idiot. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Thou dost speaketh from ignorance. We make fun of you NOT because “you proved us wrong” (show us where you did that, idiot), we make fun of you because you make it so gosh-darn easy.
What’re you gonna do next, use an article from The Onion to prove your point?