Well, Satan doesn’t live in the unwilling heart. Or was that something else? Anyhow, if everyone signed it, and promised not to do ‘satanic’ things, I can see some point. Of course, a piddly 2/3 majority isn’t going to mean much.
You could add this to the customs checks:
Carrying any weapons?
Communist?
Are you In league, created by, or in fact, Satan, Lucifer or The Great Serpent?
You forget-he also is a lousy tipper and never flushes in public restrooms.
You’d probably burst into flames as soon as you put on the outfit while in Florida. Or at least pass out. Good Lord, it’s 90 degrees out with more humidity than a Boca sauna, and you’re goig to go out with a trench coat, leather boots and gloves? Are you nuts?
On a similar note did anyone see that “Jackass” episode where the guy dressed up in a Satan outfit and wandered around the streets with a keep God out of LA sign and claiming he was misunderstood and God made up a bunch of lies about him until he was physically assaulted by someone who took offense? Love that episode.
I still have some good friends there (though not in ingliss, thankfully).
I don’t think I’ll be moving back anytime soon.
Am I nuts? Yeah, most likely.
Well it was either that or ass-less leather chaps.
But I figured if anyone who know me read the post would probably kill me for that mental image. DAMN YOU GOD AND GIVING GUYS ASSHAIR
Wow, all you need to vanquish Satan is a legal proclamation, and wooden stakes with the word repent painted in white along ths site.
Damn, God must really be off the ball if something so simple has eluded him for all these many millenia. Does that work on my sins, too. Then Jesus didn’t have to die, he could have just become a politician.
Of course, he’d have to sell his soul to Satan like all the others. But doesn’t that present an interesting theological paradox.
There needs to be a deeper field of study in this…“Inglisism”. Or do we call it “Risherism” after the mayor?
I’ll alert the Seminary, tomorrow.
I so want to dress up in a Satan costume and drive around town waving at people. Maybe passing out some tracts or something.
Well, he’s not welcome here, either.
So what does the Pastor of the local Church of God do all day, anyway? Try to get the potholes fixed and people’s garbage picked up?
I kind’a got a chuckle out of it. It reminds me of the wide spot in the road I live in, here in NC.
Hope this doesn’t get out. If our local, double-dipped Baptists hear about it, they’ll be pounding hollow fence posts filled with anti-Satan proclamations all over the county.
And then, I’ll have to move to somewhere else…
f
Excellent point, MrVisible. It also sounds like she may be breaking up with Satan, and this is her way of putting out a restraining order against him. After all, why mess around with the Prince of Darkness when you can have the King?
Goddamn it! You mean Elvis is alive?
I second OpalCat’s query. It just reads too much like an Onion article for me to rest assured in its accuracy.
That said, if it’s not a joke… I wonder if you legally changed your name to Satan, and tried to move to the town, if you’d run into some technicality and not be allowed in.
Well, I looked around the site, and it seems genuine. Insane, but genuine.
Holy Sophia Loren, that’s nutty.
This is a very embarassing idea that exhibits a 7 year old child’s level of understanding; I’d have hoped this type of thing went out with the middle ages.
I like the town clerk’s comment about kids indulging in “a style known as Goth.” I mean this style is twenty years old; she seems to see it as fresh confirmation of imminent doom. She’s right of course; the UK state dissolved into Satan worshipping Mad Max style anarchy in 1984, because of a Sisters of Mercy album release.
What’s worse is the Mayor saying that “If I had thought I was doing something wrong I wouldn’t have done it.” Its as if the only justification public servants need for action is thinking that they’re right. She hints that her religious ideas are or should be above public law.
Oh, those poor, poor oppressed “Christians”. How dare someone take away their god-given right to tell everyone else what to believe.
I really really hope she gets her proclamation removed and gets herself impeached for this.
I also thought the whole Proclimations in hollowed out posts thing sounded rather witchy.
Methinks the good mayor doth have too much time on her hands. And you know what they say about Idle hands.
While I plan to run miles to ever sound like I’m justifying this bizarre thing, there is one logical point everyone has missed:
A parallel to the provision in the Income Tax Code requiring one to report all income from illegal sources.
Nobody ever does so, of course. But the law is not pointless, since it justifies grounds for holding someone suspected of a crime who has not accounted for an evident degree of income for “income tax evasion.” As was done with Al Capone, IIRC.
The woman might not have the attitude that she is “taking power over Satan in Jesus’s name” but rather that she is giving him formal notice that his presence in town is illegal. Precisely what authority a mayoral proclamation from a small town in Florida has at God’s Judgment Seat is questionable, but she’s at least done her official duty by Him and against His enemy. 
The level of non-thought of every one involved in this is astonishing. Even the reporter, seemingly putting a straightforward spin on this. At least the Daily Show has the guts and Brains to ridicule people like this.
It makes me sick. I actually can’t finish my lunch. In the 21st century, to find idiots like this… next she’ll be talking about the Jesus shaped mudhole on the south side of town being a National Park.
Idiots. Morons. Dimwits. I can’t find the words, someone help me think up new ones.
I, for one, am writing a letter to this Asshole of a mayor, letting her know that this infantile level of understanding -of everything! Even her religion!- just does not belong in… well, anywhere.
I mean, shit, if you’re gonna believe, at least have the brains to learn about what you’re beliveing in. Her mythology, understanding of who Satan is, how things work…she demonstrates not the least grasp of anything involved here, not even grammar or witchcraft (Gold? WTF? GOLD?!?)
We should schedule simultaneous conventions of Dopers, Atheists, ACLU, Satanists, Trekkies, Gynecologists, and Bikers in her happy little town.
Anyone heard Nick Cave’s most recent, God Is In The House? What perfect satire.
Wow! I’m so pissed. I was amused at first, but after a bit…
Another fine reason to believe these Humans are just Not Gonna Make It…