Just wanted to give this the groan it deserves. 
That parent was an assmunching buttmonkey.
I am tempted, but they are literally 5 inches from the button. If they tilted slightly to their left they would hit the button by accident. My pressing the button would likely end with unintended groping or something else since this is coming off a MUT and I am on my bike.
Ah, now I get it! You’re awesome!
And dudemanbro of Jragon’s brief acquaintance? Get snipped, wait six weeks, and please get fucked. (And good on you, J. You’re awesome x 2.)
I’m way to good at sending flowers for funerals. I really shouldn’t know this stuff. I wants all of my friends and loved ones to live longer than me.
Sending flowers to Canada kinda bites. It took me 2 days of looking to find something that was not FTD. Those flowers really do not live up to the expectations. I’m not sure about the florest I have found, so if there are any Dopers in Surray BC who has a good florest, please IM me.
Oh, and don’t be my friend. I’ve lost 5 in the last 3 months. I’m never making more friends forever.
No advice on florists, but I’m so sorry. The only thing worse than losing friends is the prospect of a life without having known beautiful people. I hope you can look back and enjoy your memories, cry a little, and then look forward to making new memories. (((((Hugs)))))
Gaaah, bloody work programme.
Bit of background, if anyone cares- the English job centres, as they’re not really able to deal with the number of currently unemployed people, have supposedly outsourced the training and actual assistance aspects of the centre to a bunch of local organisations, who are supposed to then help people get back into work, leaving the centres to just deal with the benefits aspect. I say supposedly, because at least the one I’ve been dealing with are the biggest bunch of apathetic useless bastards it’s ever been my misfortune to encounter. They know most people would rather have a job- it’s just that there aren’t many around, so they don’t actually bother doing anything.
I’ve been stuck trying to deal with one of them for most of this year, and all they’ve done is refer me to one compulsory course, which was aimed at those who had left school completely unqualified and were practically illiterate. It was full of lovely advice like “don’t show up late/drunk to interviews”. They didn’t even bother sending out the useless certificate afterwards.
They did claim they’d referred me to a local college for training as a security guard (which I have now found a job as), which was actually useful- but I later discovered that was actually a false claim. I had previously expressed an interest myself to the college who ran the course, and the college had decided to follow that up. The work programme company was not involved at any point. I found this out when I discovered that I actually did have to pay £220 for a license, rather than it being paid for, as I’d been told. It turned out the course the company supposedly were organising, which was to be all-inclusive, had actually been cancelled due to incompetence, but of course they didn’t bother telling me that.
They neglected to notify me of appointments on three seperate occasions, then reported me for not attending them, resulting in a fight to not lose my benefits. They then stopped bothering with actual meetings, and basically only asked me in for sporadic hour long ‘job search sessions’ on their computers, which were slow as fuck, and had broken copies of Word on, so I couldn’t edit my CV or cover letter. These took an hour each way to walk to, and meant spending ages in prep time making sure all my up to date info was accessible online, because of course I wasn’t allowed to just bring my own laptop in. For those who weren’t comfortable on computers, (for whom the sessions could theoretically have been useful, unlike those of us who could have done the same thing at home more efficiently) no help appeared to be available during these sessions, and I occasionally spent half my time helping others get on the system.
They initially claimed that they would refund the bus fare for appointments (which is extortionate here), but they actually ran out of petty cash about 2 hours into the day. After that they would just tell everyone to bring the ticket in the next time, but my appointments were always in the afternoons and the same thing happened every day, so I just gave up and walked- not much of an issue for me, but it certainly was for others who lived further away.
For over the last month, I’ve heard nothing from them at all (and haven’t chased it up, because, well, what would be the point?), apparently because my designated ‘advisor’ had quit.
Having finally found a job, with no assistance whatsoever from the programme, I tried to lodge a formal complaint with the job centre about them, as the thought of them getting a £500 bonus for ‘getting me into work’ frankly makes my blood boil. It turns out the only complaints procedure is to complain to the company itself, then they get several months to ‘rectify’ the situation (which is of course impossible at this point) before any complaint will supposedly be forwarded on.
I’m quite pissed off by this.
I guess shoving them out of the way would be too uncouth.
Why should I hire you? I sent the request from your website, giving you all the details of what I wanted for an espalier (basically a wire fence) to be built for our pear tree, including the materials I wanted used. So I get an email telling me to call you to schedule an onsite estimate. Okay, fine.
Me: ::dialdialdial::
ringringring
::click:: Uh, hello?
Me: ummm, is this Jason?
Jason: uh, yeah
Me: Is this ‘Faith Works Fencing’?
Jason: uh, yeah
Me: I sent you a request for an estimate and got an email saying to call you
J: oh, yeah, right; what is it you need?
Me: (explain the whole thing to him)
J: well, I could come this evening. What is it you want done
(WTF?)
I explain it again.
J: oh, well that sounds pretty simple; I could just send you an estimate, although we don’t usually do carpentry.
(WTF? It’s fence posts, top rail and wire, you moron.)
What sort of business answers the phone with “hello”? Throughout the conversation it sounds like he’s chewing on his cell phone or pounding nails with it, or possibly stroking his genitals. And it sounded like he was half asleep or hungover at 9:30 a.m. I don’t think this will work out to my benefit.
I don’t blame you. Email a version of this to the papers? The Guardian “Comment is Free” section loves this kind of thing.
Cat, you really need to stop waltzing (well, limping really, she is arthritic) into my bedroom at 5:30am and yowling and waking me up. The Other Large Human (as opposed to The Small Humans in the house) is already awake and has fed you - there is no reason at all to announce to me whatever it is you’re announcing before you slink under the bed to sleep for the day. Gah.
After we miss a light cycle I almost think shoving her into traffic is the acceptable answer - but she started to jog across on her own not realizing that traffic was only stopped in one direction. That was almost ugly…
My fucking keys, seriously.
I was at a friend’s home when i though i’d lost the little bastards; so after i went though my purse and looked under her couches, finding nothing and had a set brought from home.
I get in the fucking car leave her place and the little fuckers were sitting on the dashboard. I also managed to lock myself out of my asshole car once in the winter and twice at work.
Do you guys know any lifehacks i can use to help me get home and keep from losing my damned keys?
Get a chain or a length of cord, put one end on your purse strap and attach the other end to your keys. Of course this only works if you don’t put your purse in the back seat when you drive, but it worked for me several years ago. After a few times of realizing that I hadn’t put my keys in my purse, it became a habit for me to check to see where my keys were before I got out of the car.
0500
Why am I awake?
OMG teh STENCH!
Fracking skunks. The misma goes right through closed and locked windows.
What takes out skunks? Fisher cats? Wolverines? Honey Badgers? Whatever it is, we need some. I am beginning to wish for a very bad winter to wipe these chemical weapon using varmints out, but if it gets that cold, the three-deckers around here will be going up like kindling. 100 year old vacant apartment houses have a very short half life, considering most have been retrofitted with electricity, and ‘modern’ heat is one space heater in the living room.
Get a copy of your house and car keys and put them in your wallet. (Assuming your wallet stays in your purse). That way you’ll never be locked out of your house and car
The rule I use is: Never shut your car door unless you are holding your keys in your hand.
That works for house doors too.
crap I pit myself for being a MADrabbitwoman who cannot stay calm about the fact that my little fuzzy bunny is having all her bits removed tomorrow and all I can do is obsess over the fact that my first bunny died from anaesthesia. Impy is presently having a ball playing with, in around and on top of her carrier which is really cute and all I can think of is what if she dies tomorrow.
add to the mix I was diagnosed with ptsd today found out my thyroid is going mental and that I have to stop my thyroid medication for :eek:6 weeks:eek: in order to have some test.
i know it isn’t enormous in the scheme of things but i don’t want to lose her
Your bun will be OK. Really. You can do this. 
(Owner of two rabbits, who both were neutered and one gets anesthetized every 12 weeks for dental work.)
(((MADrabbitwoman)))
Of course you’re reacting to the bad memory. That’s the way brains work. The dread will be over soon.
Good thoughts for the bunny and for the thyroid working out.