Silver Fire, blow your in-laws off. Seriously. It’s just a checkup, not anything urgent. So tell them you’re having physical pains – no one respects depression unless they have personal up-close experience – and no one to watch your children, and it’s just not on. They can either reschedule the appointment or there are things called taxicabs and hired cars and so forth.
Maybe if they have to shell out for this trip they will be more appreciative when you DO drive them.
Yes. Yes yes yes and more yes.
Silver Fire, if I were closer, I’d help out but since I’m not, what StarvingButStrong said. Really.
Jeeeeeeeeeez, Silver Fire, that is a big ol’ wad of teh sux. Concur that they will appreciate any help you DO provide in the future if they have to pay for it themselves right now. It’s a taxi; having been around since the days of horse + buggy I doubt this concept is all that new to anyone.
You need as much time for yourself as possible right now. Tell them you’re sorry (or, don’t) but that you just. cannot. drive. them.
A hundred miles? What if Babby comes early, huh? What then? Ask your FIL if he’s prepared to perform midwifery duties.
You’ll need to get better at saying “no” and quickly: sounds like you’ll have a toddler on your hands in a couple short years…
All the best to you in the last weeks of your pregnancy, and here’s hoping for a swift and uneventful birth. I’m sorry I’m a) in a non-childproof house and b) on the other side of the frigging country from you, so I can’t do more to help in a concrete way. Please take care of yourself.
Actually, that’s an idea… I know someone who was tired of being treated as the family’s chauffeur until she announced that she was going to start charging for it. “You call me because I’m unemployed, right? I have time, so I can take you to the supermarket and push the cart while you fill it. But, alas, car maintenance isn’t free, neither is gas, and time I spend pushing the cart around is time I’m not looking for a job. So I’ve found out the rates for a cab and I’m going to start charging you guys half of that.”
They negotiated something else (she hadn’t planned on doing that anyway, but figured it was a good opening gambit), but the end result is, they started having more consideration for her than for the tarmac on the road and compensating her for her work, expenses and time.
[[LavenderBlue]]
Just as an FYI, the bank will accept a check if all the necessary parts are there. I remember an Art Linkletter show, back in the sixties, that gave a couple a check on a billboard. They couldn’t get it to come off in one piece, but they got all the pieces to come off and the bank took it.
Yes, they probably only put up with the huge pile of paper because the cameras were rolling, but a check that’s merely torn should be good.
[[LavenderBlue]] My youngest is 32, but I remember.
Damn. [[Silver Fire]] I’ll add another vote for bailing. Rescheduling is annoying, but that’s nothing compared to the misery of not rescheduling.
Silver Fire, seriously, fuck them. There are taxis and medi-car services and neighbors, or just rescheduling. They obviously don’t really care that much about you, and you need to take care of yourself.
ARRGH. Noisy yard tools can go fuck themselves. With today’s technology being so advanced, you’d have thought someone would’ve invented quieter yard tools. I think my neighbour owns (or hires people who own) every possible loud yard tool. And I think she’s retired now, so noisy yard tools at any time it is!
Meh, at least in a few minutes I’ll be out of the house for a while.
Our beautiful, precious, brave, darling dog died during the night. Damn, damn, damn. We are going out to commission an urn for him.
As soon as I can get my husband away from the computer. He is in charge of a big event and he is trying to work on a flyer for it; he asked for my help but just keeps puttering away at it, when this type of thing is right up my alley and I could bang it out with no trouble a lot faster.
See, I know he’s completely gutted about the dog and only just stopped sobbing after seven hours, so he’s doing this to distract him and to feel he has control over something, so I won’t try to take charge.
The first I learned that our apartment complex was switching to Single Stream recycling was when the various recycle bins’ labels were spray painted over. Even without looking in them I immediately could see that we had changed to SSR.
Which isn’t a bad thing (despite the fact I hadn’t gotten an apartment newsletter in a couple months, as if I would have read them anyway.)
The problem is that now people completely stuff the recycling bins so you can’t fit any more in. At least now, the actual garbage bin is no longer overflowing all the time.
I’m sorry to hear that, Sigmagirl.
I’m so sorry, Sigmagirl.
So you’re saying your neighbor is a tool with noisy tools?
Still waiting on getting my car towed to the garage so we can find out if it’s a write-off or a repair. I don’t know why this is taking so long - I think it’s time to call someone and find out.
My rental car is a new-model automatic Corolla* - how do you guys stand driving automatic transmission cars? Holy crap, what a gutless wonder! I feel like I should get out and push it up hills! And it’s always in the wrong frigging gear if I just leave it in drive! And it doesn’t have any extra jump AT ALL, no matter what gear I’m in!
*My banged-up baby is a 2005 Corolla with a stickshift.
I did it and I’m home now and nobody died. I hate it when people flake out on me and, even though they’re awful, I couldn’t do that. It wasn’t that bad - a few bullshit comments from FIL that were immediately shut down - and my toddler wasn’t that bad. At the time it all seemed terrible (omg, toddlers!) but I’m home now and comforting myself with the knowledge that I’m never doing anything for those people again.
It’s going to be a bummer for them in November when they figure out I’m not making dinner for their whole family like I have every Thanksgiving since her stroke, but whatever.
Freedom!
Tell them NOW you’re not doing it, SilverFire, and then repeat a few times: that way they can’t accuse you of being a flake, and you won’t beat yourself up about it.
Wait. Who the fuck expects a woman who’s juuuuust given birth to cook a full thanksgiving meal? Good grief!
Mine: my in-laws want to put the house I’ve been living in with Shoe onto the market soon. No biggie, that was the plan all along (before he got catastrophically ill) and I knew they were getting back on that track.
Didn’t quite anticipate being asked if I’d be ready to move out at the end of next month, though … I’m about to go back to work, full-time, and while I realize I need to get my stuff out of the way for re-painting etc. I just … I thought I’d have more time. And a few more months surrounded by memories. Now my mother is going to put even more pressure on me to get rid of even more of his things, and I have to find a place that will let me take both cats (I am NOT leaving them behind, or with my parents, you hear me? They’re about all I have left … ) and I’m kinda freaking out about the whole thing, although … It does change how I view “stuff.” Partially my stuff (worth keeping? yes/no) and also his stuff.
I thought about that. I asked my husband if it’s even a decision I should make at this point when I really feel like I’m not myself right now or should I maybe wait. The truth is though that I don’t not like them just because I’m hormonal and whatever. I don’t like them because his mother was a horrible bitch to me prior to her stroke to the point that we didn’t talk to them at all for, like, six months and only started talking to them again after she nearly died. She only likes me because she has fairly severe brain damage; I don’t even think she remembers telling me to leave her family alone or me essentially calling her a drunk and telling her to grow up.
They do, guaranteed. And I bet they expect it so much that they’ll simply assume I’m going to do it and will only call me within a day or two of the dinner to ask when I want to take her out to shop for supplies.
… how did your husband respond to your question? (You don’t actually have to answer: I’m being curious/nosy.)
Not a rant actually, but how can my mother, in mid-stage ALZ beat us at almost any game we play? Cards, board games, not scrabble, puzzles?? Weird .
Yeah, ol’ mom acted all confused… right up until you started playing for money.
I am so sorry Sigma.