I’m stuck, but in a good place.
I know I won’t feel like this for long so I might as well put it down for posterity.
I’m on a disability leave that’s neither getting better nor worse. Every day for the last three years has been almost exactly like the one before it, with the exception of my attitude, which can be volatile.
I’m a city boy who got sick of the city and decided (before disability) to buy a house in the burbs and become house poor. So now, I’m house poor. So what. My house is on a semi-busy street but that doesn’t bother me. The houses have a respectable distance between them and the back yard, which is what I’m getting to, is an oasis (to a city boy anyway) chock full of serenity.
Every morning I go out there with my dog and my coffee. He wanders around peeing all over everything and stares at the squirrels up in the trees, chases rabbits.
I listen to the birds signaling to each other and am amazed at the pattern they use. I know they’re probably enemies but I like to think they’re friends. There’s also at least two red cardinals back there. I’m not always lucky enough to see them but I’m glad they live back there. Occasionally a gray heron visits and sometimes a woodpecker.
There’s a pond in the back of the yard and I even love the feel of the earth as it presses down under my feet when I walk back there. There are frogs but I only hear them at night. If I’m quiet though, I can catch turtles swimming around in there. It amazes me how attuned a turtle is to his surroundings and how quick they really are. Twice I saw the grand daddy of backyard turtles. This thing was over a foot long!
And there are little fish. I have no idea how all these little fish got into this pond. And then my coffee cup empties and I lose interest, and go back into the house. But those few minutes……
Everyone needs serenity. What keeps YOU from going “postal”?