Serenity now

I’m stuck, but in a good place.

I know I won’t feel like this for long so I might as well put it down for posterity.

I’m on a disability leave that’s neither getting better nor worse. Every day for the last three years has been almost exactly like the one before it, with the exception of my attitude, which can be volatile.

I’m a city boy who got sick of the city and decided (before disability) to buy a house in the burbs and become house poor. So now, I’m house poor. So what. My house is on a semi-busy street but that doesn’t bother me. The houses have a respectable distance between them and the back yard, which is what I’m getting to, is an oasis (to a city boy anyway) chock full of serenity.

Every morning I go out there with my dog and my coffee. He wanders around peeing all over everything and stares at the squirrels up in the trees, chases rabbits.

I listen to the birds signaling to each other and am amazed at the pattern they use. I know they’re probably enemies but I like to think they’re friends. There’s also at least two red cardinals back there. I’m not always lucky enough to see them but I’m glad they live back there. Occasionally a gray heron visits and sometimes a woodpecker.

There’s a pond in the back of the yard and I even love the feel of the earth as it presses down under my feet when I walk back there. There are frogs but I only hear them at night. If I’m quiet though, I can catch turtles swimming around in there. It amazes me how attuned a turtle is to his surroundings and how quick they really are. Twice I saw the grand daddy of backyard turtles. This thing was over a foot long!

And there are little fish. I have no idea how all these little fish got into this pond. And then my coffee cup empties and I lose interest, and go back into the house. But those few minutes……

Everyone needs serenity. What keeps YOU from going “postal”?

Just having my own home, whether it be house, apartment, or even room. But it must be mine, not shared. And lots of books.

Rooves, your life sounds close to perfect to me (unless you are in constant pain). I envy you. It wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it would be mine.

I think I have to answer the same a **Oy!**did, mainly cos the best thing I supose I have is having a litle flat to myself Little flat in insalubrious area, but it is nice to know there need only be me and a book or an internet. And my cat. (I’m working on the “cranky old lady with cat” image.)

{b]Rooves**’ version sounds nicer though - all that nearby wildlife - I too would like to get the hell out of the city again, but, as noted, one can just get “stuck” - as in no money, and a disability in the sense of being one horribly panicky depressive little Celyn. But having my own place to hide in iis good.I’m sure we have all had those student-type years of shared houses and so on, and most of us are only too glad not to do that any more. :slight_smile:

I’m also tempted to say I envy the OP, but, given the mention of “disability”, I think that might be a crass thing to say, in which case, I Do apologise.

I hope things stay OK for you, Rooves although I found the idea that you are happy now but won’t be that way for long a bit ominous. I really hope nothing horribly bad is coming along for you. No scary medical operations or anything.

Keep well.

No, just a bad back. “just”…It’s keeping me from what I used to do (which was basically labor).

Eventually I’ll be turned loose in the work force again but by then I hope to be trained for something else. It’s a little un-nerving but there’s not much to do but make the best of it and prepare (college this fall - i’m 33 :rolleyes: ).

But if I was stuck home in my old house I’d have cracked by now. Or be on crack. It was a horrible neighborhood.

Thanks for the well wishes. :slight_smile:

Rooves, prepare to enjoy yourself. You will be amazed at how brilliant all those 18-21 year olds will make you feel! I went back to school at the age of 35, and graduated a few years later third in a class of over 12,000. I won’t say I barely cracked a book, but I sure as hell didn’t have to work hard enough to justify that. It was the extra years of experience and knowledge I had acquired.

Of course, being magnificently brilliant didn’t hurt. :smiley: But where was that brilliance when I was 18-21?