I dunno- don’t Doritos contain hydrogenated oils? You really shouldn’t eat that shit, in the long run it will clog your arteries which first will retard your physical performance and then will shorten your life. And Americans eat wayyyy too much corn. It is processed to the point that there is practically no nutritional value to it. Don’t bother.
My gf has been preparing a salad for me these days out of parsnips, carrots, cabbage and cucumbers. Add some vinagrette or salad dressing and it is surprisingly tasty (it is kinda like cole slaw, only fresher). Makes you regular as a clock too, and after eating it for a few days I feel better in a hard-to-pin-down way. More energetic, but something else too… anyway, you should really give it a try!
You clearly missed the point of my post. I’m an obsessed dust-junkie and I couldn’t begin to care about nutritional value. I’m not eating these for my health, or to absorb nutrients, I’m doing it to become fatter, lazier, more depressed, and more dependent upon the high that is a powerful burning sensation on your tongue which feels like a flame just slightly too hot to be comfortable, yet not so profound as to cause the other taste buds to die. I want my mouth to water, whilst simultaneously being as dry as the Mojave desert. I want to experience the dizzying highs of each flavorful bite, and I am willing to suffer the depressing lows that happen when I’ve reached the bottom of the bag and have torn it apart and eaten every last tiny crumb and bit of flavor dust, and licked it, and placed it in the pile of Doritos bags I keep next to my bed. And I wasn’t even hungry.
And hunger does not compel me to wharf down the next bag, either. For my stomach is distended, and if you crush the bag down beforehand, you get smaller pieces which you can just dump down your mouth hole, which means there’s less chewing involved, and more like a slow absorption of the flavor dust before the chip melts and slides down my throat with me barely noticing it.
Truly the experience is dirty, unhealthy, and only for the hopelessly perverted. Like bukkake.
You’ll notice that the more you talk about Doritos, the less interesting the other topic of this thread becomes. And eventually, it withers away from a lack of being fed, and begins to crack and crumble and eventually becomes the very Dorito dust that was used to slay it.
Such is the power of Frito-Lay. Yea, my children, come unto me and partake of the tangy and salty flavor of the spicy substance we worship. Form up in a circle, and spread it around everywhere. Make sure some of it gets onto your lips, and we shall experience the divine flavor together. Do not use tissues to clean up afterward. Instead, lick the wond’rous substance off of your fingers. Try not to imagine bukkake while we’re doing this, that’s totally different.
Follow Doritos on Twitter, and Like them on Facebook. These are the rituals you must complete to become part of the nacho brotherhood. The holy land is Plano, Texas. SNACK BOLD.
Dude, look at your behavior. It is ridiculous. Seriously, go get yourself 2 parsnips, a smallish head of cabbage, maybe 8 carrots and about half that much celery and stick it all in a food processor until it is minced. Wet it down with fresh squeezed lemon juice and add the dressing of your choice. And eat that.
Saw a Jack Hanna show the other day. He visited Busch Gardens (big surprise) where they have discovered that lions and tigers love nothing more than taco seasoning. They put it on their food, shake it all over the lions’ feeding area, and as a special treat they dumped a lot on a rock that one lion likes to rub himself on. You might be a lion, like Snoop Lion.
I think the energy is the added speed you get from your farts.
Listen man, you’re the one giving head to cabbage and taking 8 carrots at once. I don’t question your bedroom activities, so let me lie in bed and rub Dorito dust all over myself in peace.
