**the really Insecure
Pickpockets-in-Training
Frottageurs
**
It’s not so much hate, as it is being extremely WTF’d by.
I do not, but I think the singing method is improved by not having an iPod.
Your both old lady’s, birds of feather and all that.
Personally, I do it sometimes–either due to “creature of habit” or “you look innocuous”. Except in the latter case, it’s “you look small and not impolite enough to try to crowd me out of my seat”–I do public transit in a college town, and the number of fuckoffs who will park next to you and spread-eagle their knees like they want to push you out the window or hit you with their backpack repeatedly or whatever is ridiculous. If you’re sitting politely and not exceeding the bounds of your seat, I’m sitting next to you so I can do the same.
Certain sub-cultures tend to huddle - when faced with a nearly-empty room they’ll invariably choose to sit right next to someone rather than taking a seat roughly equidistant from all other people (a “dispersal” sub-culture).
I could single out ethnicity, nationality, and gender here but I won’t. Alright, I’ll do gender - women tend to huddle more than men, though it’s by no means a universal trait among women.
My somewhat cynical side says that this would be a great way of discouraging people from sitting next to you as most people would avoid sitting next to your for fear of being preached at.
MeanOldLady, the outside seat is where it’s at in terms of discouraging people from sitting next to you on public transportation especially on an empty train.
Okay. I’m trying the outside seat next time I’m on an emptyish train. If someone sits next to me, I’m going to kick them in the shins, then go sit by myself.
The last time I shared my story, I got hardly any support. Almost no one could entertain the possibility that maybe the stranger was the one who was creepy.
What I know:
They will sit next to you on a empty bus. They won’t look at you until you look at them. They will speak first. They will ask, “Is someone sitting here?” They don’t want an answer. They don’t need an answer. They know you will forget seeing the cane. They know you will remember their glassy eye glaring at you. They know you will think about their old fashion clothes.
Who are they? I look forward to hearing your theory.
Someone very creepy.
And yeah, I agree - sit on the outside seat, and plop your purse or coat into the inside seat. That should do it.
I suspect that if you do the former, you’ll have no need to do the latter.
I approve.
Or spend the whole trip staring at them and then pretend to follow them after they get off. That should show them.
I do this all the time on my Metra train. I like having an outer seat to give my arm a little extra room and also to make it easier to get out if the person I’m sitting next to is going further than me. If I sit in an empty row, someone is very likely to end up sitting next to me making it more of a pain to get out.
Well in your first telling, it seemed as though you just looked at him, and didn’t say anything in response to his question, which is a little strange. You later said you pointed out that there were other seats, but everyone ignored that.
They’re assholes.
Where I’m from, if there’s an expectation the bus may become full at any time along its route, this is basically how you indicate that you’re a complete asshole.
When asked “Is anybody sitting here?” I always answer “No one but The Lord.”
Another thing that might keep them away: reading Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal or Alive while holding a hi-liter. When someone looks like they’re going to sit next to you, exclaim “Wow this has recipies too!” and hi-lite liberally.
When flying once, I brought a copy of Amelia Earhart’s Last Flight. The plane was only 1/3 full and some guy wanted to switch his seat for the one next to me. As he leaned in to ask, I commented “It says here the plane spun violently before it crashed!” He picked another seat.
I hope this helps. People with no sense of personal boundaries need slapped. Hard.
Bri2k
Many years ago there was a cartoon in National Lampoon with a woman sitting on an empty bus and some huge slovenly-looking weirdo gets on. She thinks to herself, “Oh God, please don’t let him sit next to me.” Next panel, he’s getting closer and looking right at her. “Oh God, please don’t let him sit next to me.” Next panel he’s just about reached her seat. “Oh God please don’t let him sit next to me.” He sits down right next to her. Last panel he turns to her and says “God told me to sit here.”
So I said this was a serious question. I haven’t received a single response from a medical professional yet.
MeanOldLady, maybe you smell good.
Just for clarity, are we using “outside” seat to refer to the aisle or the window? I could see it meaning either one.
Here’s a corollary question: You are sitting in the aisle seat, next to someone in the window seat, when the rest of the car clears out enough that you could spread out (i.e., move over into an empty pair of seats). Do you get up and move? Personally, I get up, but I’ve heard people worry that that looks rude.
I agree with the consensus that if these are mostly little old ladies, they’re just getting ahead of the curve and taking a seat next to someone who isn’t creepy, in anticipation that if they take a seat alone, someone creepy will come along and sit next to them.
Also, I propose these little old ladies are also aisle-seat sitters by preference. They’re small and old, it’s probably difficult to scoot to the window, so they’re preempting the need to move over, turn sideways, or get up to let someone into the window seat. They take an aisle seat that’s already next to someone so they don’t look like a jerk taking a double seat to themselves.
If this were dudes, then I would just say they were creeps.
My preferred seats are the sideways ones by the doors. Always pretty much guaranteed a quick escape, even if the train is crowded. My other theory is that I’ve never seen homeless people with all their stuff sitting in those seats, so maybe they’re just a titch cleaner. Also, if a creepy dude tries to sit next to me in one of those seats (as it happened a couple weeks ago, he was eyeballing me on the platform and followed me into the same car, then started to plant his butt right next to me when the car was nearly empty. I waited until he was in the point-of-no-return squat and then jumped up and moved. He looked insulted. I had pepper spray), I can get up and move unimpeded. Those are the seats where people have stuff snatched from them as thieves book out the doors, so I’m always on alert and looking around at people, and keep my electronics in my bag. The advantages of those seats outweigh the disadvantages to me, though.
I wish this were the reason, but it’s so not. I mean, not that I smell terrible or anything, but I doubt people board semi-empty trains, walk by me and go, “She smells so good, that I’m going to stop walking now, ignore all the empty rows (not just seats, mind you) and sit down beside her so that I can breathe in her aroma for 25 min.” I mean, even if I smelled that good, can they smell it from the aisle? Too much… too much.
Anyway, I’m sure that suggestion wasn’t 100% serious, but hey.
The point was (I sometimes lose track of my point at midnight) was that I’m sure it has nothing to do with me, and there is a certain class of asshole who just does this kind of shit. There are just some people who will sit next to you on a completely empty bus; people who will use the stall right next to you in an empty restroom; people who, like you, are ridiculously early to a movie, but will still sit right in front of your ass despite the theatre being nearly empty; people who show up to lecture and will need to be near you, even though you’ve seated yourself as far away from the entry as possible, because you don’t want people crawling over you; people who are just… dicks.
Although, sure, I guess there might be a bunch of grandmas who are trying to minimize their risk of sitting by obnoxious teenagers, but I’m certain these people still all have the asshole gene.