Just finihed reading the <url=http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002856.html>Celibacy of the Year award</url> thread. Ow.
In order to fight off depression and paint another side of the picture (just so that the single folks out there don’t all take vows of unmatrimony) I wanted to solicit responses from people who have happy, rewarding, smack the headboard, scream like a banshee sex lives with their spouse or long-term SO. For myself, after 5 years of dating/cohabitating followed by 5 years of marriage, my wife still rocks my world regularly. Wouldn’t go back to the single life if Salma Hayak and Catherine Zeta-Jones were at the door looking for a third. (Would have to think about it though. . .I mean, damn, I’m only human). I’m not bragging, well maybe a little – but mostly I am just grateful and delighted. How about the rest of you? Anyone care to second me on the bliss of a good marriage?
The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*
My first instinct on reading the thread title was to say “No, I prefer my sex inside a vagina.”
I will second your marital blissness. It is dang nice to always have someone who knows and understands the little turn-ons, ways to move, and things to say that get the heart beating a whole lot faster. There is also a great level of comfort that allows experimentation and exploration that makes everything OK. Frankly, I think it’s great and judging by the noises I keep hearing, my wife would agree.
Now, if my wife were to come to the door with Salma Hayek and Catherine Zeta Jones…
Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.
We’ve been married for ten years and my husband also “rocks my world regularly”. I think the best thing about having an SO in the sack is that they can almost read your mind. I love it when he knows what I need before I know it myself. He knows just where to touch me, how gentle or rough to be, what to say…
I’m getting excited here!
It is much easier to see ourselves as better than or even worse than, rather than accepting that we simply are. - John “The Penguin” Bingham
Well, I can’t approach the OP for longevity, but I’ve been with the same guy for nearly two years now, & it just keeps getting better. I’m sorry, I don’t really have a way of talking about this that doesn’t sound terribly corny, but it’s so great to have somebody in your life who really knows who you are & cares about what you think, & knows exactly where to touch you to drive you out of your head with pleasure.
I never used to believe that my emotional connection to someone had anything to do with my sexual response (as a feminist, I believed that that myth was crammed down womens’ throats to subvert their sexuality), but now I have seen the light & I believe.
Thanks people. I feel much better now – also hornier. I hope my wife gets home soon.
Well, speaking only for myself, I have had sex without emotional involvement that also rocked my world, but it was a crap shoot, rarely repeatable even with the same partner. Far more frequently it was hardly more satisfyting than masturbation and often resulted in a less intense orgasm. Love and an enthusiastic, imaginative partner make it damn near a sure thing. Also – while the sexual act and orgasm were sometimes fantastic without the emotion, the sensual asects were missing almost entirely: all of the little touches and looks and gestures and warmth that make the total so much more than the sum of the parts.
The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*
I know, I know…what is Cristi doing here, since she tossed in her two cents on the celibacy thread? Circumstances have put a temporary kibosh on my sex life. Temporary.
IMHO, happily married/happily committed sex is fabulous. Even the quickies that parents of small children have to sneak in while the kids are napping are great. Really.
I have to cast another vote for “rock my world” sex inside a marriage. In fact, my husband is growing a beard and mustache now, which is driving me WILD!
We have great sex and hopefully will be taking a trip to a Hedonism resort next year (probobly waaaaay too much info)
Zette
After six years of cohabitating/marriage, I also have to admit that the sex is still out of this world. I can still look across the room at him, even when he’s not doing anything particularly sexy, and get completely turned on. There has been a lot of times where as soon as he walks in the door at the end of the work day, I will grab his hand and drag him upstairs to the bedroom because I’ve been thinking about him all day and I just have to have him right then and there.
I’ll tell ya’ll, I can not watch Lion eat an ice cream cone. Not without wanting to jump his bones then and there.
He told me years ago that he perfected his um, oral skills practicing on one. It makes me crazy. All that licking and nibbeling and slight sucking. Looking at me “that way” the whole time.
Uh, I have to go NOW !
And the emotional part of the bond only makes it all better for me.
Ayesha - Lioness
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
Not currently married, but I must throw in my $.02 worth in reference to sex with/without emotional involvement.
Yeah, I look at women and lust in my heart whether I’m in a relationship or not. I think that’s instinct. Nevertheless, making love is worlds better than plain ol’ sex. The greater the love, the greater the lovemaking.
Sex? No comparison. Hell, I can have sex by myself.
I can relate to what was said earlier.I enjoyed sex only with my husband(not with the other 4 guys),cause I loved him.I thought I was weird or something. And we wasn’t"good". There was NO foreplay(apparently I dont need it),and we had to do it quickly or he’d lose it.Sad,I know.
