For those of you living under a rock (or perhaps in America) our Montgomery Burns look-alike nation football manager has got himself into a bit of bother.
He has been knocking the granny out of a FA PA, who is also single (and would seem to be a bit of a slapper herself as she was also getting jiggy with Sven’s boss, again a single man).
This isn’t why he’s in trouble, it’s not the first time and he does seem to be a bit of an old goat, but he isn’t married, none of his bints have been married, so no harm done there. (Incidentally I am sure that he is the sort of bloke who would fold up his trousers carefully before getting down to business)
However it appears that once the red-tops got hold of the story Sven may have lied to his employers about the affair, leading them to engage lawyers to deny the story. This is what could cost him his £4m a year job. Or is it?
Surely the reason that he should be packed off back to Sweden (or more likely Italy) is that he’s pretty rubbish at his job.
He is tactically naive and plays an Italian style game that is woefully out of date in international football. He attempts to defend 1-0 leads with 80 minutes to go.
He rates Emile Heskey. That is why he should be sacked, not Schtupping Miss Fire Alarm.
However the geniuses at the FA have played into his hand by praising his managerial ability (ie doing whatever Beckham tells him to do) thus making sure they can’t sack him without paying up his contract – which would cost about £10m.
I want to get a job at the FA – it’s much more fun than my office.
So should he stay or should he go?