Sex-pest Sven. Should he stay or should he go? A nation decides (Soccerball stuff)

In My Humble Opinion
1

For those of you living under a rock (or perhaps in America) our Montgomery Burns look-alike nation football manager has got himself into a bit of bother.

He has been knocking the granny out of a FA PA, who is also single (and would seem to be a bit of a slapper herself as she was also getting jiggy with Sven’s boss, again a single man).

This isn’t why he’s in trouble, it’s not the first time and he does seem to be a bit of an old goat, but he isn’t married, none of his bints have been married, so no harm done there. (Incidentally I am sure that he is the sort of bloke who would fold up his trousers carefully before getting down to business)

However it appears that once the red-tops got hold of the story Sven may have lied to his employers about the affair, leading them to engage lawyers to deny the story. This is what could cost him his £4m a year job. Or is it?

Surely the reason that he should be packed off back to Sweden (or more likely Italy) is that he’s pretty rubbish at his job.

He is tactically naive and plays an Italian style game that is woefully out of date in international football. He attempts to defend 1-0 leads with 80 minutes to go.

He rates Emile Heskey. That is why he should be sacked, not Schtupping Miss Fire Alarm.

However the geniuses at the FA have played into his hand by praising his managerial ability (ie doing whatever Beckham tells him to do) thus making sure they can’t sack him without paying up his contract – which would cost about £10m.

I want to get a job at the FA – it’s much more fun than my office.

So should he stay or should he go?

2

So, it’s not the fact you’re squad wasn’t good enough, or that the media hypes them out of all recognition, it’s all Sven’s fault. Of course. Have they given up blaming the referee yet?

For a start, what business is it of the FA’s who he’s stchupping? Was it written into his contract that he wasn’t allowed “route one” the secretary?

It will make a VERY interesting constructive dismissal case if he is fired because of this.

3

If Alan Curbuishley or Steve McLaren got the results that Sven has then I suppose they’d be a fair reflection of the ability of the team - we’re ranked 10th in the world and get to the quarter finals of the Euro and WC - ie we perform to our ranking. I don’t think that’s worth £4m a year. We pay him the highest salary in international football to improve on what the squad is capable of.

There is no question of his being sacked for giving the PA one. What is at issue is whether he lied to David Davies about it, causing the FA to deny it. That is a sackable offence, just about.

However David Davies is a plank and only last week gave an interview saying that SGE is the best thing since sliced gooner, so they can’t now sack him on performance grounds (which they should), without paying up a FOUR YEAR contract (four years for fuck’s sake).

That leaves the lying as a possible get out (Like Hoddle and the made-up furore about his religious views).

FWIW I think he’ll hang on, and no one else is likely to be sniffing around him a la Abramovich. We’re stuck with the muppet.

4

For this alone, he should be force fed rollmop herrings whilst having to listen to a 24 hour continuous rendition of chuiquitita.

Then he should be allowed to get on with the job. His record on the pitch (or indeed in the bed) is not so bad with the talent has got to work with. I am not sure I can think of anyone (who would find the prospect of the position attractive) who would be likely to do so much better. Alan Curbishley anybody?

5

Well, I for one think he’s doing a GREAT job, and hope he sticks around :slight_smile:

Apart from that, though, it strikes me the FA have got themselves into a big mess over this. By not giving him the sack for the right reasons when they should have, they’ve now pretty much invited him to sue them when and if they finally do sack him.

6

“Big Phil” Scolari seems to like playing Sven’s teams. Maybe he’d fancy quadrupling his salary.

I’d like to have a manager called “Big Phil”

7

What business is it of David Davies who Sven is shagging? The FA should never have released a statement.

8

David Davies was acting as the communications director of the FA when the NOTW approached them with the story. He should have told them to piss off, but thought he could be clever and manage the story (especially with Mark Palios in the frame too), so he asked Palios and Sven.

Palios admitted it - and that should have been that as far as he goes. However he got into a conspiracy to push the balme onto Sven. That’s why he had to go.

Sven may possibly have lied. The FA would then have issued the statement rubbishing the story, then had been forced to admit it. That’s why he’s in bother.

All corporations would have tried to do the same as Davies did.

The simple fact is if Sven was sitting in his office polishing the European Championship trophy nobody would havve cared if he’d rogered the mascot and all the ball-boys.

Christ almighty - it’s not as if it’s difficult to pick up a slapper in Soho - just go to the Atlantic bar (say Owl sent you :wink: .

9

The problem is that the whole silly affair makes it look like the senior FA employees spend most of their time chasing skirt around the office, rather than winning every trophy going, which is what’s expected of them.

If they’d admitted it straight off as no secret no one would have cared. But because they bungled a cover up suspicions have arisen.

Frankly, when you look at Sven, and ex-Scotland boss Craig Brown (who also seemed to have been a hit with “the birds”), the real news story is what the hell is it about dull, ugly international football managers that makes them irresistable? It’s a mystery.

10

Well the problem now seems to revolve around a briefing that Dave Davies gave which moreorless was,

“If you don’t print any dirt about me, I’ll trade you for all sorts of details about Sven”

Unfortunately he was trying to get clever with the News of the Screws, which simply agreed to these conditions and then went ahead anyway, along with all the Sven stuff too.

Question has to be asked, just why was the FA trying to keep tabs on Svens private life, including personal emails and text messages that were never addressed nor sent to FA officials.

Why should the FA be asking Sven anything about his private life, and why should it then try to defend him when his private life is private.

Sven has every right to say what he wants to such intrusive and unwarranted questioning, and if the FA then makes statements which are shown to be foolish, well, more fool them.

The whole thing is utterley ludicrous, but don’t forget OWLYwe had quite a struggle to get a halfway reasonable national coach in the first place, many were approached and many turned the offer down, not just because they were succesful managers of their own clubs, but also because of the intrusive nature of the press attention they had seen other England managers recieve.

I truly, truly hope that Sven walks away, that we cannot get even a fourth rate manager, and then perhaps we as individuals can think about why we buy shitey newspapers that seek to build someone up, for later destruction all in the name of profit and salaciousness.

If you wonder why certain eminently suitable managers don’t seem to be interested, then take a look at the biggest selling newspapers, and ask who buys them, yup, its our fault ultimately, we buy the shite and sales increase whenever one of the Sunday Filthies gets a nice juicy tidbit to display to a prurient public.

Owly your football judgement has been pretty much spot on on most of what you post about, so I would not begin to dispute your analysis of Sven’s tactics, but all the same, he was about as good as we could get at the time.

We really ought to disband the England team until such time as the press behave themselves, we ought to completely boycott the shitey papers anyway.
The press simply invent or overembellish anything involving top name players, teams and managers and we are stupid enough to lap it all up.

11

Well. That’s that for the moment. Sven has “no case to answer,” the office bike has “resigned” and signed up with Max Clifford and Colin Gibson has also “resigned”.

Or is it? I think this is where it could all get rather interesting. Miss Fire Alarm is apparently getting £750,000 for her tale of nights of lust with Monty Burns. Now for that kind of cash (especially as one of the papers she has signed for is the NoTW) they are going to want a lot of red meat.

A lot of the salacious stuff doesn’t matter in context – If Sven is partial to a dirty Sanchez that’s his business. Ditto if he revealed that Ulrika likes it up the gary (she doesn’t – ask John Leslie, that’s where that all started) that really is nobodies business but their own.

However if she starts to relate pillow talk from Sven about the England team and/or specific players then once again Sven could be in trouble. If nothing else it could make life a bit awkward, and possibly destabilise his position in the post. After all, remember what really put the nail in Hoddle’s coffin wasn’t stating a belief that at least one billion people share, but writing a spectacularly ill-advised world cup diary (actually penned by David Davies – same old, same old).

I’m quite looking forward to Sunday.

Incidentally if any women are reading this can they explain what these women see in Sven – yes I know he’s rich, but there must be something else. I have asked my wife (who naturally has fantastic taste) and she can’t see it at all. Can anyone enlighten me?

12

I have no idea whatsoever.

But then, I have no idea what women find attractive in a lot of these famous ‘love rats’, so I obviously am just weird.