…you’ll need to get tested immediately
…it’s more likely to happen if you’re old and infurm
…thy’ll be talking about it on Fox’n’Friends
…Mike Pence will be in charge of your recovery
…you’d rather have the flu
…it’ll make you want to hide from friends and family
…it can’t be cured with a flu vaccine
…you have a 3% chance of dying
…you probably won’t get it
…
…
…
You’ll want to stay out of public view for 14 days.
… it makes you need to stock up on toilet paper.
You might not even know you had it.
Despite your expectations, your partner won’t be Hung.
It puts elderly people in the hospital.
It’ll make you glad you bought all that toilet paper.
It’s the reason Justin Trudeau is hiding at home and won’t interact with people.
Hand sanitizer won’t work.
The burn! The burn!
There are more memes about it than people who have actually encountered it.
…it will take you weeks to recover. 
All people can talk about is how to avoid it.
It will kill some people, and…
It will inconvenience EVERYBODY!
~VOW
You’ll know your getting it when you feel a tickle on the back of your throat.
…Makes it hard to breathe
…Is the only thing that can keep Ivanka away from daddy
…Creates volatility in the markets, baby!
You’ll ask me to wear a mask…
…you’ll need to thoroughly decontaminate
Because you need to wipe down those exposed surfaces.
…it’ll be much worse if Donald Trump gets involved in it.
We’ll bump but we won’t kiss.