Gee, I don’t know, is girls assaulting boys by touching them uninvited, in a sexual manner endemic in our society? Yeah, I thought not.
The problem here is that not one of the men in this thread are willing to acknowledge any difference between a pinch and a physically aggressive grab at her pussy. Apparently these are both ‘just a pinch’ to them. And neither qualify as sexual assault.
Please notice they didn’t really need to hear any details from the woman to ascertain it was ‘just a pinch’.
That you can’t see or acknowledge any difference, don’t even need to inquire, makes you part of the problem, in my opinion.
As you point out, yes the OP is asking a question about the boy:
“Dopers, do you think: a) filing charges would be appropriate based on what you know? b) is any parental involvement warranted or appropriate in this situation, or is this something kids need to figure out for themselves?”
You do realize consent forms are signed after the filming occurs and the person’s real natural reaction to the gag is recorded and decided to be used for TV right? Those people didn’t know what was going to happen at the time, and no, they certainly don’t appear traumatized nor violently defensive… a reaction someone here stated didn’t exist.
The rest of this post is one of the most bizarre and exaggerated examples of confirmation bias I have ever read; picking out bits and pieces of supporting quotes and completely ignoring other parts to support a position. Here’s one example:
There is support for the girl suggested, but if it comes from the wrong “side” I guess it doesn’t count; only the disagreeable parts are paid attention to. But I wouldn’t say one should support a victim in “any way possible”. Victims can go overboard or develop disproportionate feelings of vengeance - just look at some of the people here who are frothing at the mouth over a story 3 generations removed from reality and attacking strangers for offering their opinions on a board asking for… opinions.
In my opinion one should support a victim to a reasonable degree. That’s why a judge determines a sentence. It’s appropriate to listen to and consider a victim impact statement, but not have the victim determine the punishment. They are often too emotionally involved; these things have to be considered reasonably.
You do realize that if anyone was traumatised and did not sign the consent form they would not appear on the video? Real life doesn’t have funny music and a laugh track. Real life doesn’t finish seconds after sexual assault occurs. It doesn’t prove jack-fucking-shit. When someone pulls up a girls skirt and everybody, including the girl, starts laughing: that doesn’t mean the girl isn’t hurt, isn’t humiliated, isn’t traumatised.
Statements like “being showcased and talked about in front of the whole school after having had an experience that may well have already been embarrassing enough” are just part of the problem. It says “don’t speak up: because if you do then you will make things worse.” As I said in my original post this is precisely why Harvey Weinstein’s victims didn’t speak out. Because as a society with have conditioned victims to think that “you have been embarrassed enough. Don’t make it worse.” So no, this doesn’t count.
The “disagreeable parts” are the problem. The disagreeable parts are what, in real life, stop people from coming forward. Of course that’s what I’m going to pay attention too.
Yeah, because “disproportionate feelings of vengeance” is such a huge issue with sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape in our society. :rolleyes: You can’t compare a few responses on a messageboard to what is actually happening right now out in society. You can’t compare the “attacks” in this thread to what victims have to put up with in the real world. Out there in the real world when perpetrators threaten to kill themselves if their victims speak up the victim doesn’t speak up. When victims are told “this was just his first time, let it go” they let it go. When victims are told “do you really want to humiliate him? Do you want this to stick with him for the rest of his life?” they don’t do anything about it.
And the victims have to live with that decision. The guilt when that person goes onto do bigger and worse crimes. The humiliation that may stick with them for a lifetime.
This isn’t about the boy.
A judge only gets involved if someone complains, and if the case gets to court, and sentencing only happens if the person is found guilty. A judge is only involved with victims in a tiny fraction of cases. I’m talking about victims. I’m not just talking about those brave enough to go to court. I’m also talking about the 80% of (mainly) women who do not even get to the judge, because they do not even get to the police, because they are too scared they will not be believed, because of societal attitudes just like yours. Victims are “emotionally involved.” Which is why we should support them and help them in any way possible.
When I was a Law Student, I often wondered how thebloody code came to be., Reading this thread and the multitude of later day Lord Halifaxes (like elbows, Dangerosa, Banquet Bear,** DigitalC**) makes me understand how.:rolleyes:
One of the rare good feminist legal writings I read was their efforts to make rape a non-capital crime. Once that was accomplished, the number of rape convictions actually went up substantially.
There are few better ways to drastically* increase* the rate of deviation from expected norms than start punishing even minor infractions harshly. Treating actions like the stupid lads in the OP as sexual assault is not going to reduce them at all. All its going to lead to is them being tolerated and hidden ,even if begrudgingly by their peers and even the victims, and being replaced by a less regulated and informal system in practice… Hell, we have actual real world examples of that.